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Question for the Bi Guys

Kitesurfboi

Kitesurfboi

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If you have a GF or are seeing a girl at what point if ever do you approach telling her that you're bi? I believe in absolute honesty in relationships and until now I've never done anything with a guy but I'm hoping it will happen soon. However I also have a girl who seems interested and we've been talking quite a bit and I'm nervous that I might have to fess up about liking guys to keep y honesty belief. Anyone had any experiences of telling a girl they liked? How'd it go?
 
Are you in a committed relationship with this girl? If not, you don;t owe her an explanation or insight into your love life. I would say the same about this if you were gay or straight and dating more than one person. If you are in a committed relationship, then skip the part about seeing someone else.
 
Just to save yourself and her any hardship, you may want to tell her before you get in deeper so that if it does bother her, you'll know that she is out of the question.
 
That's a tough one. I'd almost venture to say that if you are considering a serious relationship, then it's irrelevant to tell her, assuming of course that you don't plan on cheating on her with a guy any more than you would with another girl. I understand that you want her to get to know you better but I think that if you are serious about this relationship, then you should build some trust between you two first before letting her know. She might interpret your coming out as "You're not enough to satisfy me" or "I'm probably gay but I want to keep my options open" or even "I've been seeing guys behind your back." If you haven't known her long enough to establish trust in the relationship, coming out will only create doubt and instability.
 
I've been talking to a girl and she has no idea that I'm bi. Personally, I don't see a need to tell her. Right now we live kinda far from each other so we don't actually see each other, and we never did have a "relationship" beside being friends. But she may be moving here soon. (!)

Anyway, if she does come here and we have a relationship, I'll be with her and not messing around with ANY guy, so really what's the difference? It's not being dishonest. Cheating is dishonest, not telling her everything about your past isn't. And as long as you're in a trusting relationship, the whole bi thing is in your past. No different than a straight guy being "taken off the market".

I doubt straight guys tell their girlfriends about past girlfriends much, atleast not if they want to keep the current one. I see no difference really.
 
funny this topic came up; i recently told my gf that I was bi, and was in a 4yr r/s with another guy (1st & only love in my life so far) b4 meeting her. We've known each other for 11 months but have only been dating for the past 4 months. She was of course shocked but says she's getting over it and doesn't think any less of me or judges me. She says she loves me enough to stay with me as long as I truly want to be with her, which I do, but I recently talked with my ex bf for the 1st time since our break up and it opened up old wounds - this was the trigger that led me to tell my gf abt my past.

Bisexuality doesn't excuse being unfaithful to whoever u are with and isn't an excuse to go around fucking guys and using a girl for cover (ur really gay if that's the case). And my bf before knew I was into both guys and girls, ppl either fully accept who u are or not.

Just be honest when the time is right and answer all her questions truthfully if she's willing to stick around, it'd make things easier in the long run
 
I think it's important to stress that bisexuality doesn't mean you need to have sex with both sexes to feel satisfied, but that a specific sex (male/female) isn't a prerequisite for attraction.
 
I told my friends that I am bisexual. And they're all cool with it but they can joke around as I do with them too. I can't really imagine that I'm having a relationship with a girl without telling her anything about my past. Eventually someone will drop a remark - consciously or unconsciously... Another thing: I really don't make an issue of me being bi. So that girl shouldn't do that either. And if she can't do that, then she's not the one for me.
 
I'd tell her from the start. I don't like personal surprises, so I wouldn't do it to someone else. It's always best when you're honest from the start.
 
If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't tell her becuase I wouldn't plan on seeing a guy or another women for that matter. I would be totally satisfied with her.
 
I think you should tell her. People appreciate honesty and it is the right thing to do. You said you wanted to do stuff with a guy soon... does that mean you'd cheat on her?
 
Has anyone ever had a problem with another gay guy not being okay with your bisexuality? Like if the gay guy truly does not believe in bisexuality and believes that you're either gay or you're straight?
 
I don't think I would date another bisexual. Not unless I knew they were comfortable with their sexuality. For some guys (my ex and a few guys I've spoken to since) it seems as if they consider themselves bi because they want to fuck men but only date women. Since I'm the dating type I really don't need the drama.
 
Hey K. I find myself in the same situation. :confused:Funny cos we're the same age as well.

Lousy thing is it usually holds me back to an extent that i find myself ending the realtionship with the girl. To be honest, usually its just cos i know that she is not the one tho.

My advise would be to go with the flow. Dont force urself to tell her that ur bi. If u really dig her and vice versa, the opportune moment will come along when it makes sense to tell her. Time allows one to develop more understanding in a realtionship. Dropping the bomb now would not help...especially if the relationship is still kinda new. Enjoy the time u have with her. You will know if its really what u want long term...and she will sense the same.

Mind u, the above is currently what im adopting. There is a great girl that i dig, and i would not go and screw up what i have with her by telling her now.

Lemme know how it works out! and Good luck mate! :-)
 
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