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Question on closeted guy asking a gay guy out

S

slookerboy

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I am a 50 year old bisexual man who is still in the closet and have been told that I am handsome by women and gay men. I want to remain in the closet because of my family. I am VERY inexperienced in the gay scene and have more experience with women but prefer men. My gay encounters have all been with gay escorts. I developed a crush on a gay man that I see on an irregular basis through my job. I want to ask him out but my biggest fear is rejection and then getting outed. He is in his late 20's. I tried flirting with him by complementing him on his hair style but he did not flirt back. Does anyone have advice on how I can ask him out without getting "outed" if he rejects me. Was I too vague? I guess another question would be how to find out if he interested in me. I can be clueless because a another gay man at work was interested in me and someone else had to bring it to my attention.

Thank you for any advice you have.
 
I don´t think there is too much of a difference between flirting with a woman and a man. It always seemed the same to me.. There is always some sort of risk of you being outed, intentionally or not, so it´s up to you if you want to do it or not. In the meantime, you can try searching for other people, on internet gay dating sites or gay clubs.

Keep in mind that the big age difference doesn´t work for everybody. You can only try to get to know him a bit before asking anything, invite him to a beer, get to know what kind of fella he is.

What I don´t get is why at your age you still need to hide it, unless you´re talking about a wife, in which case you might wanna think twice before lying and hurting her.
 
^^ , especially the lying and cheating part.

Also, you run what I think you should view as an unacceptable risk.
 
So, basically, this isn't a question that has to do with either Coming out, relationships OR bisexuality, but with how to cheat while still hiding behind a false face.

Hmmmm, maybe this topic would be better served in Hot Topics? People there would love to give you tips, I'm sure...


It never ceases to amaze me that closeted homosexuals assume it's somehow magically "not cheating" because it's with a man, and not with another woman...
 
I would say nothing good could come from any of this. If you are married, remain faithful to your bride. If you are single, you will be hardpressed to find a gay male, especially a twenty-something, willing to get involved with someone who plans to remain closeted for life. I mean, who wants to hide their light under a bushel?
 
You'll be outed whether he accepts or rejects you. I wouldn't mix work and pleasure given where you're at in life and your unwillingness to be out.
 
I've been in your situation and I'm non-judgemental. Feel free to pm me.
 
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