So I grew up straight but had the normal fetishes like when I was 14 I started sneaking in and wearing my moms lingerie. I think I was always curious I remember in high school getting excited to glance over at the girthy guys in the showers. Ive had a couple girl friends for a short time. I started to get really curious in my early twenties. Started posting on cL m4m and hooked up a couple times with some nice guys. I figured out that Im a bottom boy cause with my slim stature and smaller penis ( 4.5long and 3.5 girth) and I enjoy bottoming! I guess my question is does sexuality slowly change over time? Cause was straight no I think its safe to say Im bi and I havent had a girl in years and lately all I think about are guys. ( big strong hot guys). Could I just be gay? Ive never been in a ltr with a guy. Maybe I should go that next step. Thanks for listening btw Im single!
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Questionably confuses!
- Thread starter Coolhand7
- Start date
It's definitely not unheard of for people's sexuality to shift. Plenty of bisexuals talk about how their preferences swing back and forth over time. Trans people also sometimes experience changes in their sexuality when starting HRT. So what you've experienced is normal.
The label you use to describe your sexuality really isn't that important. They're tools for describing to people what their experience of attraction is like and, as you know first-hand, it's often not as simple as we're lead to believe. There are various reasons people choose one label over another in a given circumstance. GayGHOF (a member on the forum) labels their self as 'gay' but is married to, and in love with, their wife. Probably not what you'd expect when someone says they're gay. But as I understand it, GayGHOF is turned on by men and wants sex with men so they choose to go with 'gay'.
Right now you're into guys, but if you find yourself attracted to a woman don't let fitting some label get in the way of your happiness. There's nothing wrong with you.
Also another thing I'd like to touch on...
It's cool that you like bottoming, nothing wrong with that, but you having a slender build or a not-massive-dick has nothing to do with it. If you want to try topping don't let your appearance get your way; you're not confined to any role just because of superficial traits.
The label you use to describe your sexuality really isn't that important. They're tools for describing to people what their experience of attraction is like and, as you know first-hand, it's often not as simple as we're lead to believe. There are various reasons people choose one label over another in a given circumstance. GayGHOF (a member on the forum) labels their self as 'gay' but is married to, and in love with, their wife. Probably not what you'd expect when someone says they're gay. But as I understand it, GayGHOF is turned on by men and wants sex with men so they choose to go with 'gay'.
Right now you're into guys, but if you find yourself attracted to a woman don't let fitting some label get in the way of your happiness. There's nothing wrong with you.
Also another thing I'd like to touch on...
It's cool that you like bottoming, nothing wrong with that, but you having a slender build or a not-massive-dick has nothing to do with it. If you want to try topping don't let your appearance get your way; you're not confined to any role just because of superficial traits.
Briacon429
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I agree with SeaCore 100%!
For what it’s worth, Coolhand, your story sounds a lot like mine. (Except I’ve never had a lingerie fetish!) Growing up, I always assumed I was straight, and I dated girls without giving it a second thought. I did occasionally catch myself checking out guys, but I didn’t think anything of it... till I got curious in my twenties too.
Once I started having sex with guys, I realized what I’d been missing all those years!!! Still, it took me years before I fully labeled myself as gay: I basically realized I hadn’t wanted to be with a girl in years, and frankly have no desire to ever do it again.
I don’t think my sexuality really changed. It just took me a while to figure it out. But like SeaCore said, the labels really don’t matter much. What does matter is that you’re happy with yourself, and that you have the kind of sex you’re wanting to have. (And if you’re not sure, well, by all means experiment!) At least that’s how it was for me....
For what it’s worth, Coolhand, your story sounds a lot like mine. (Except I’ve never had a lingerie fetish!) Growing up, I always assumed I was straight, and I dated girls without giving it a second thought. I did occasionally catch myself checking out guys, but I didn’t think anything of it... till I got curious in my twenties too.
Once I started having sex with guys, I realized what I’d been missing all those years!!! Still, it took me years before I fully labeled myself as gay: I basically realized I hadn’t wanted to be with a girl in years, and frankly have no desire to ever do it again.
I don’t think my sexuality really changed. It just took me a while to figure it out. But like SeaCore said, the labels really don’t matter much. What does matter is that you’re happy with yourself, and that you have the kind of sex you’re wanting to have. (And if you’re not sure, well, by all means experiment!) At least that’s how it was for me....