Questions about Relationships and Sex

[gotdimples77]

well i think the first thing you guys need to do is meet a guy. then take things slow...go date, hang out whatever. if he is in it for the long haul he wont rush things. He will want to get to know you and have you know him. when you are ready, go for it. even if you dont end up getting married you will have had a relationship with someone you know and care for. I think that is the best you can hope for.
the other thing is you cannot trust anyone's declaration of being HIV -. You either have to take the risk of bareback or toss most everything in latex. It is much harder to get HIV from oral contact but not impossible. talk about his your sexual history and hope he is honest. Oh, and dont overlook the snuggling mutual jerk off it isnt so bad.

 

[Seasoned]

First I want to empathize with you and offer all the support you need. So good luck on all fronts, but you are way ahead of yourself. Life is about pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow. It is impossible to pre-program your path.

Read some gay non-fiction. Have a set of standards. Take some risks without being careless. Stick to standards without being inflexible. Expect to learn from all life has to offer.

And ask yourself this question: What makes you so special that you think you'd be the only person that didn't have love related problems? Look around everyone has them. It's part of life. The issue is not to put yourself in situations where they are inevitable.

All the best to you and may your journey be filled with grace, joy and never-ending awe at life's possibilities.

 

[kallipolis]

Always assume that the other guy is ignorant.

Always place your own health first, and in so doing you protect the health of your partner.

Enter into a relationship, for the rest of the day. Tomorrow comes, and reveals its reality.

Never give up hope, on all that entitles us to live in hope that love is for now.
Now, is the realisation of our own sacrifices for those who may well be waiting for a guy just like us.

When the going goes wrong, remember that as one door closes another door is waiting to be opened. Hope speaks, when we recognise its face.

Patience and understanding reveals the best in us, even when the love of our eyes is too blind to see beyond the end of his prick.

 

[irish1]

Brijan just posted a thread about virginity in Hot Topics.

I think everyone should read it. It will offer support to what you are feeling, particularly in a rural state like Maine.

Regardless of how long it takes, you will all have great men in your lives. Remember, you also have to be willing to search for it, because a good man may be waiting, but may not be agressive about starting a relationship with you.

Good luck, guys!!

 

[Soilwork]

condoms can be hot.

but that being said.. you gotta use them regardless.

Past that.. if you want your first time to be amazing, you'll have to maybe date a guy for a while and build up the chemstry before hand.

And that's not always easy in a small, rural area like Augusta with little to no gay community.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Relationships:

But I don't want to hand over my virginity to just some slut who won't even remember my name in the morning. I want to have a long, meaningful, and serious relationship first so my first bang session isn't just about a physical attraction. I want it to be a long, romantic, sensual, and horny night for me and my future guy.

It is very good to know, what is it that you want. It is even better to know, how to get that and it is virtually essential to answer the question: why should anyone agree to go along with my plans, wishes and desires.

But I'm very worried about being in a relationship. I'm worried about him cheating on me and/or not wanting a serious long-lasting relationship. I here stories from a lot of people that say gay guys are "shallower" than straight8 guys; people have said it's easier for two guys to hook up rather than a guy and a girl to hook up since men have a strong need for physical attraction while women want more of a meaningful relationship.

Most stereotypes are based on some truth, otherwise they would be called simple lies. And, yes, your fears are fully justified. Men hook up with other men for sex purely, far more frequently than women hook up with men for that same purpose only. Men have been hard-wired to spread their seed. Women had been hard-wired to secure the survival of their offspring. No one has ever said that being gay does not bring in some drawbacks, too.

Both of the past statements are obviously stereotypes... but what do you guys think? How do I meet someone like I described? We don't have any gay clubs or bars here (MAine) that I know of (plus I don't really drink... except wine).

And how do I know if he is for real and not just trying to use me for sex? I can be overly trusting sometimes... which can be very hurtful sometimes. I'm so desperate I'm even reading books about relationships!

Nope. There is no way for you to read his mind. And yup, he may be just trying to use you for sex. Most likely, the evolutionary purpose of human sex and its immense complexities is to secure not just our reproduction as species but moreover to secure our actual survival through the continous development of our intelligence. Sexual selection is as complex a matter as it gets.

You have set yourself a goal. Now, you need means and methods, the whole technology of success, if you will. You must design it yourself.


SEX:
Now, for the more X-rated section. Okay like I sadi I'm a virgin... well not counting my right hand of course. But I have seen my fair share of porn flicks. (On a side note I think watching pornos is healthy to one's sexual/mental/emotional health as long as it doesn't run one's life) Anyways, I think I have a fetish for cumshots/facials. I don't think I'd ever bareback But I think cum shots in the mouth are hot and sensual... either swallow or spit. However, I know full well the dangers of STDs and the way of contracting them. Even pre-cum can have STDs in it. My obsessiveness would say... "use a condom... no wait ... two condoms for any sexual contact!"

But I want my first time to be hot and sensual.... In a way I want to be able to trust my guy and not have condoms... which may be a naive statement. Is it possible to ever truly trust someone horny... especially when it comes to my life? Even if we get tested how do I know for sure he will be faithful from the test date to the bang date?

Keep in mind that success and survival are only marginally about our wishes and desires. Life is far more about successfully negotiating acceptable solutions to highly complex issues. In other words, yup CONDOMS are a MUST.
I guess I know some of the answers to my questions in my heart... maybe I'm just looking for advice from more experience guys.

Chris

Good Luck

SC

 

[Eagle653]

Hi, I wanted to move it to this forum because it fits better and because it's a No Flame Zone.

I also want to reiterate the excellent advice given above.

Good luck to you, and let us know how you're doing.

 

[spreadeagle]

You may never have thought about facial cumshots if you had not watched porn. It seems, given your limited experience, that your expectations about what two guys might do together has been created, and limited, by the pornography you've jacked too.

Stop watching pornography and start going out socially. When you meet a prospective partner let your interactions be mutually agreeable - respond to what is happening in the present moment and to the way you feel in your body (keep breathing), rather than acting out the replay of some old porn flick in your head.

You're never going to have a real relationship unless you can be there in real-time with your partner.