Questions not to ask a lover...

[TheMadHatter]

I recently befriended a hot guy on silverdaddies. We both were just looking for friends with "benefits", however, this is my first time with a man so I feel more comfortable getting close to him first.

Anyways, I was wondering if it would be weird to casually ask him how many other guys he is sleeping with. It doesn't matter to me, but I'm just curious.

Thanks..

 

[braex27]

If you're just gonna be "friends with benefits" then I can't imagine why he wouldn't tell you.

Having said that, people are quite protective of that sort of thing. And in any event, how would you know if he didn't tell you the truth?

 

[TheMadHatter]

^ My thought exactly. Oh well.

 

[evilest]

I personally think it's a valid question, as you're indirectly affected, but be prepared in case his responce is "this is not a relationship and it's none of your business".

 

[topinboots]

It's a valid question with keeping in mind two things: if he's older than you, don't get freaked out if he has more experience than you (actually, you shouldn't get freaked out if he has more and he's younger than you!) and two; there is no such thing as 'just curious'. Understand what it is that is wanting to know this information and be honest with it. It's a valid question, but don't fool yourself that you don't want to know without a specific drive behind it..what ever it may be.
Always be mindful that if you as a question, you may get an honest answer. If you get an honest answer, you may not like it. What then?

 

[racer2438]

I think more important would be to ask if his has been tested lately. It's your life your talking about so think about it one night of pleasure can turn your whole life upside down.

I would ask more safety questions rather than numbers. As numbers can be made up and no one knows if they are being honest. Test results are in blk/wht.

 

[TheMadHatter]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Honestly, I didn't expect to fall in love with him..but I am. He has said he is willing to have a serious relationship for the right guy.

It just sucks that I am so nervous about telling him my feelings because I'm afraid he will freak out and leave.

I suppose I'm just young and eager to love.

 

[thisisinteresting]

Yeah, I've been there. Keep in mind that if you start a relationship with someone with a large age gap there are bound to be potential difficulties in common interests, as well as the fact that if it succeeds as a relationship, the gap may become more apparent with age. My partner is 28 years older and I'm not looking forward to when I'm 50 and he's almost 80.