Questions on bath houses

[chrisdobro]

So I went to a bath house. 2nd time in my life.

Still just getting used to the style and the atmosphere and everything. Naturally I came out of it still with my dick soft and no sex. Kind if made me feel like a prude, when I don't consider myself one necessarily.

There was something about knowing how sex can be in my own house or someone else's house atmosphere. Nice planned and in style. And then looking at this cruising ground of almost doctor's office type rooms with pure white sheets and blank bare walls and not necessarily hiegenic flooring.

The guys were in several categories. Older. Out of shape and some that looked "used", even if they were muscular or fine otherwise. There were some too that had plenty of attitude, one which I cared not for.

My question I guess is what can one do in a bath house?
For one I would not allow myself to have any kind of anal sex there. Just period.
For another there is no place really for anything that I'd say really kinky. Maybe I am mistaken. I've heard guys were being fisted in bath houses. I just don't think I'd like to engage in anything really kinky in that type of environment. Place where anyone and anything can walk in on you and touch you in the middle of some very intimate important preparations and activities.

So, what can you do? Anal for me is out like I said. Kink is out.
Sucking and sucking is left. Making of maybe? What else?
I can let someone taste me like my body or my piss if someone likes that. Not sure I'd neccesarily return that though in this environment.


In my outing today one guy ran his hand on my back and shoulders and I just bolted out of there as I figured he'd let me see him first, which he didn't. I didn't even know who it was. As I tried to leave he strongly gripped my neck where I let out a whimper as I tried to get away. He let go of me but I felt the marks left by the grip for probably 5 min afterwards.
Later some guy not sure, maybe it was the same one or not - a muscular "used"-looking guy came over and started sniffing me. I let him. He asked me to go to his room. I gently got out of there. I touched him back so that he'd relax a little bit and I guess get some contact with me, for which he was looking for. And then I made my way out. I'd let him lick my body. And sniff me. But going into the room with him was something I was not quite sure about.

Later, another older out of shape guy did the same move on me - grab my neck as I tried to get away. Well this time I looked at him a bit and at least knew who it was. Still I touched him back so that he would release his grip on me and then I gently got away.

There was one black guy who stood next to me with his dick hard. So I touched him an his dick. He at first got a bit soft. Then a bit hard again. And then he left. Okay.

I did not want to and would not do anything with him what so ever until I talked to him about his health and HIV status and when he was last tested. We did not get to this discussion. I kind of imagine that in a bathhouse it will be difficult to have such a discussion.

So there's that. Is there any hope for any action for me in bathhouse atmosphere?
I am more so asking about if there is a way to make bathhouses work for me?

 

[backagain]

lets it go.

 

[Laufey]

I just got into one of those small rooms, went down on all four with the door open and then played the waiting game. Didn't have to wait very long. I guess I'm an extreme example though... I'm very relaxed about sex and don't have high demands on how the other guy has to act or look like. When I'm thirsty I have a glass of water, when I'm horny I have sex. I prefer it to be simple rather than complicated or a time consuming game.

For most guys I just think it just feels kinda overwhelming the first few times and each time they go they get more relaxed. I think the trick is to not decide before you go that you are gonna have sex. Just think of it as a relaxing time and if you meet someone you have chemistry with and it feels right, then go for it.

And please don't talk about HIV, nothing kills the mood faster. A lot of guys are infected without knowing it and a lot of guys lie about their status. You should just assume everyone is infected and play it safe.

 

[JOHN B]

There is no rule saying that you HAVE to have sex at a Bathouse. Nothing wrong with just cruising, and talking, and watching. I would be careful how often you have sex in a public area.....even in bathhouses, one can get a "reputation"...lol... Just start with petting/first base/etc., --if out in a public area-- to see if there is a spark/interest....then offer/ask him to go back to a room.
I have run into a few that said NO, because they were in to "public sex" there. I usually shy away from them then. (I said, usually....)

 

[eastofeden]

Bathhouses...ugh. The first time I went to one I was on a 'date'...I didn't know I was on a date but apparently he thought we were. I was trying to get away from him and I was telling him how I never went to a bathhouse before and didn't really want to go but he semi talked me into it...

...so we were standing in the halls with a towel on and it smelled really gross in there...and then every 2nd/3rd guy walking by said hi to me by name LOL The guy was looking at me like I lied to him about never being there...I know alot of people..what can I say.

The smell is the bad part for me. I don't like the smell in the locker room at the gym either. Kinda ruins the sex. This was before AIDS even existed. I dont' think I would go there now...and not because of AIDS...the funky smell reminds me of staff infections waiting to happen.

At my gym there was a jacuzzi that had that funky smell and I didn't want to go in it but my lover didn't care and went...he was resting his elbows on the floor around the jacuzzi and he got a very painful staff infection from just a tiny cut he had on his elbow and he had to be hospitalized. I noticed they closed their jacuzzi...cemented right over it. I wonder what happened? ...and this is a generally clean gym. That is why I would avoid bathhouse sex. Maybe meet someone there and take it elsewhere? ...or maybe play a game in the lounge or socialize if they have a space for that. I think sex would be too dangerous.

 

[legend145]

sniffing and licking? like dogs? What kinda of mess?

 

[LeicsDom]

So there's that. Is there any hope for any action for me in bathhouse atmosphere?
I am more so asking about if there is a way to make bathhouses work for me?

US bath-houses are like UK saunas. You have to go in with the right attitude.

From what you say you are way too uptight for it to work for you. You HAVE to be much more relaxed both about sex and sex in a semi-public place. You also have to be very aware that guys will probably try it on and be clumsy in their approaches. Don't take it personally. Don't get precious about it.

As has been said above, if you are uncomfortable with anything that is attempted with you, tell the staff.

 

[chrisdobro]

Thanks all.

Hmm. Well. He did grab my neck with a working out muscle man steel grip but I guess I can't run up to staff every time someone awkwardly mishandles me. Not sure if this particular one needed to be reported. I guess it was something I could deal with. And a fun experience and story to tell. Thanks for letting me know though. It's good to know that there's more control if I can't handle something.
Some guys interpreted me standing close to them while watching TV screens as me being interested in them, which was not the case.

I think I will find my way. Just takes more time. 5% hookup rate sounds low though. It's like going there 20 times and only getting some action once. Maybe it's all in what one is looking for and how one approaches things. When I went to the typical bars my rate was
closer to 28%.

 

[Laufey]

Obviously it depends on the person.

The first time I went to a London sauna I had sex with one guy. The 2nd time I went I had sex with 5 guys.

And there plenty of guys there I would consider fitter and better looking than me.

 

[rareboy]

Obviously it depends on the person.

The first time I went to a London sauna I had sex with one guy. The 2nd time I went I had sex with 5 guys.

And there plenty of guys there I would consider fitter and better looking than me.

The OP is definitely wasting his time in a bathhouse if he is that tense and uptight.

What a shame....in my wild youth, I had the most amazing sexual encounters in the bathhouses.....and no, I didn't get fisted, or raped, or pissed on.

And a lot of the guys were really hot...including a couple of dancers touring with a national ballet company, some amazing mature guys and just plain sex pigs.

But Geiri...I still have you beat for numbers.

 

[Laufey]

Well I've only been twice so

Yeah it was surprising how many young, fit and good looking guys were there. I had my fears there would only be old and overweight guys there (nothing wrong with that if that's your thing)

 

[ravenstar]

I had a 3 way with a Z list Australian celebrity and his boyfriend in a Sydney sauna once. It was fun.

Any hangups you have about sex are going to come to the surface in a place like that. Sauna/Bath house sex is totally different to what you have at home. Sauna's are basically for straight out sex. Nothing else.

 

[Taralen]

If I were you, I wouldn't make a third visit. I don't want you to get hurt or robbed. There are nothing but old unnatractive men, cruising queens and trolls that usually frequent those kinds of places.

There are safer alternatives. Clubs/Bars, A4A parties, Craigslist parties.

If you do want to return to the baths, be alert and stay safe.