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quite simply, love

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gazza18

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Guess I should just start at the very begining.
So last year I was involved in a relationship with a fella called aaron. He was basically my first ever serious boyfriend, and vice versa. We were perfect together, as soon as we met we just clicked. He was perfect; funny, kind, sincere, trustworthy, beautiful, comforting. He was everything and more you could ever ask for in a partner and i had found him. He is that one most of us will spend our lives looking for and I found him. We where well and truely in love, he brought me into every part of his life, brought me to his sisters leaving party and proudly showed me off as his boyfriend. He was a true romantic, always doing the little things that showed how much he cared, showing me how special he was.

But then i go and fuck it all up. I panicked, I didn't know what I was doing, i got scared, I was afraid that i was going to hurt him so ended things before i did. Biggest mistake of my life. ](*,)](*,)](*,)

After splitting up, we did remain friends, infact i would consider him my best friend, infact people would ask us if we were a couple we are that close, but I can't cope with just friends, i love him too much.

So that leads us to saturday past.
We went out together along with some friends, we spent the majority of the night together as usual. We were talking abut failed relationships, and his last one that ended about a month or so ago. He told me that while he was happy in it, he wasn't as happy as he was when he was with me. When we were together, we never had any problems, not as much as an argument.

So we where talking away about all that, and i turned to him and said," why did i ever let you go, that was the biggest mistake of my life, im sorry aaron but i panicked, i've actually never stopped loving you".

He was shocked, but did say he still had feelings for me, so i asked if we could give it another try, on sat nite he said yes but yesterday he said hes unsure.

We chatted last night about it, he said hes afraid that il hurt him again. But i explained everything, how i panicked last year, how i feel about him and how i would never do that to him again, i just want to make him happy.

Hes bit sceptical about it all, which is completely understandable, but he did say he wants to get back togther, but he just needs a bif time to think it all over.

Sorry if this was a complete waste but i just needed to rant, il inform yous of any further progression and hopefully the next time i write back here il no longer be a single man, thanks for listening, well reading, l8rs
 
Good luck, and don't fuck it up this time. Do alot of talking, that would help take care of any panics.
 
yay, so unbelievably happy right now, hes coming to stay with me on weds nite :D don't worry, i really won't fuck it up this time. It hurt too much the last time
 
When you guys get together on Wednesday, be open and honest with him. Be yourself as much as you can......talk, but also listen to aaron. What he is afraid of, what his and your needs are. Without communication between the 2 of you, it won't work!

Best of luck mate, and let us know what happens!
 
](*,)](*,)](*,)](*,)

WHAT??!!!!!!!! YOU LET HIM GO?!!!

Ok, glad to hear things might get back on track. Before you let him go next time (which you hopefully will NOT do), think about those of us who are still searching for "him".

This kinda thing comes only once a life time. You waste it and you'll be wasting more than all the gold and diamonds in the world.

Good luck ..|
 
It sounds like you slipped into the "He's too good for me/I'm not worthy of him" way of thinking.

That destroys lots of relationships.

It probably has to do with your own self-esteem issues.

If he thinks you're wonderful and worth the effort LTRs require, you need to believe that too. If he's that great a guy, then you have to believe in his love for you and stop scaring yourself about ways you might damage the relationship. It becomes a self-filfilling prophecy.
 
I do realise all this now. Despite my lack of years in terms of life experince (only 18), i do know what to do this time and how to approach the situation.
Im not going to rush anything, and i've told him to take as much time as he needs, and that at the end of the day, all i want is for him to be happy, whatever that may be. Im in a much better frame of mind now. When we met up lat year, i wasnt really out, think that played a big part in it, but i now know what i want, and its him
 
Well, if you are sure that it will be different the next time around, then you only have to convince him that you won't hurt him again.

Easier said than done, but if you are really serious about a second chance, you'll find a way.
 
yeah so its over. actually feel quite used by him.
i invited him to come and stay with me, took him out for a meal, had a perfect night, stayed over (il leave out the bedroom details) then the next day he doesnt say anything and just leaves!!!
he says he doesnt know what he wants, but then says he wants me. But worst of all he then asks me to have an open relationship with him, that we should keep our options open. How the fuck are we supposed to be in a relationship if hes seeing others. i told him to forget about it, im not going to be his fuck buddy. we did leave things on sorta good terms, like we've left things open so that something may happen in the future, but for now its not going to happen
 
This may have been him delivering some payback/revenge on you. Or he might be being honest.

Either way, move on.

Lex
 
How the fuck are we supposed to be in a relationship if hes seeing others. i told him to forget about it, im not going to be his fuck buddy

Good for you for being clear on what you want.

And good for you for not settling for anything less.
 
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