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Quite stumped at the moment :/ (advice thread)

M

moon68

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Hi, I know this is a bit strange for a first post, but just letting you know I’m not trolling haha. Never got round to making an account on the forums but I’ve always been an admirer of the forums and the advice use guys give :).

As the title says I need some advice…

I was at a get together with some friends on the weekend and got quite drunk. I was sharing a bed with one of my best friends and you can probably guess were this is leading to. My best friend came onto me and we nearly had sex. Although, I let it go further than I should have, I stopped it going too far. It was really strange the next day because we didn’t feel any awkwardness at all and we were just laughing about it and talking/joking. We ended up spending the rest of the next day at my friend’s house and sharing a bed again (which seems really stupid I know). The strange thing was the next morning we just spent hours just talking and cuddling. I just really don’t know what to think of the situation because we’ve been friends for over 6 years and I’m scared that I might actually have feelings for him. The reason why I feel worried is because I’m in quite a close knit group of friends and whatever happens might put that at risk.

Well I’ll leave it at that for now, since it’s getting late (couldn’t sleep :3) and I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Will get round to adding more information.

Appreciate any advice

Thanks

Moon68
 
Reading this back over, I feel like I'm thinking too much into things :/. I might just leave things the way they are and see what happens.
 
Nope. The two of you need to talk and figure out where this is going... and where you want it to go. Otherwise, you'll end up in that gray area between friends and lovers where friendships go to die.
 
The BEST relationships start out as/are best friends. This is a Win/Win situation for you. Why would you even consider holding back, or limiting how much greatness this could be??? If you guys are as close as you say you are, you could be that couple that everyone else WISHES were them.

Don't limit a lifetime of potential happiness/bliss for some cliquey group of social activity. I can practically guarantee that if any one of your friends in your group find someone to be with, they'd drop your group like a hot rock.
 
Since he is your best friend, you should be able to talk to him about anything. So, why not talk to him about the encounter you had in bed with him? Was he just horsing around? Was it just sex? Or was there something more?

You will never know until you get his perspective. That requires having a talk with him.
 
I completely agree with borg69 and mbamike. The fact that the first experience was fun and felt natural is really important. So many guys experiment, then deprive themselves of the pleasure that experience gave them with feelings of shame and guilt. Instead you guys hung out together and cuddled the next day. Definitely have a chat with him. If you are both on the same page, I hope your close group of friends are cool with whatever you choose to tell them and continue to love you both unconditionally.
 
Thanks for the advice guys, were all going away for the weekend next week, so ill see what happens:). I'll update the post if anything happens

moon68
 
But yeah its really bugging me and yet again I find myself struggling to get to sleep :/
Think were definitely gonna have to sit down and talk.
 
Any further development? Anything that feels natural ought to be explored asking as both people are free to do so.
 
I think I was thinking too much into things, the reason being cause I've never actually experienced anything like that before (I'm a virgin, he isn't). I think it was just a spare of the moment thing and I'll just have to see how things go in the future, but everything seems the same.
 
Feelings that make you feel happy are scary because…..???

This is like finding out that a friend of yours cooked you something for dinner and then worrying because it tastes good.

I thought that was the whole idea.
 
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