Some great 'quotes of the day' here ....
"It's all this cold-hearted fucking that is death and idiocy."
-D.H. Lawrence
"He who asks is a fool for 5 minutes, but he who does not remains a fool forever."
-Chinese Proverb
"Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand."
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Phillips
"Chastity is curable, if detected early."
"If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."
"Sex is dirty only if it's done right."
-Woody Allen
"My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me."
-Bette Midler
"Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them."
-Mae West
"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral."
-Aristippus
"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie."
-William Shakespeare
"Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite."
"I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now."
"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy."
-Groucho Marx
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant."
-Henry Miller
"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"
-Bette Midler
"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter."
-George Carlin
"In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure."
"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring."
-S. J. Perelman
"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up."
-Joan Rivers
"From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."
-Bette Davis
"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got."
-Sophia Loren
"Every so often, I try to masturbate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not really sure what it means."
"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."
"The web is a dominatrix. Every where I turn, I see little buttons ordering me to Submit."
-Nytwind
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic."
-Woody Allen
"The brain is viewed as an appendage of the genital glands."
-Carl Jung
"My brain is my second favorite organ." -Woody Allen
"Apparently one can temporarily sterilize oneself by heating one's organs in boiling water."
-Annonymous British Teenager
"Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it."
-W. C. Fields
"No one has ever died from an overdose of pornography."
-J. Money and P. Tucker
"It'll be a sad day for sexual liberation when the pornography addict has to settle for the real thing."
-Brendan Francis
"A man must be potent and orgasmic to ensure the future of the race. A woman only needs to be available."
-Masters and Johnson
"It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be."
-Brigitte Bardot
"An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card."
-Alex comfort
"Sex is emotion in motion."
-Mae West
"The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant."
"I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get."
-Mae West
"Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself."
"Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you."
"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."
"I am a man of few words and a thousand obscene gestures."