racist guys?

[clandt]

hello...
I have to agree with most of the posts above, it has nothing to do with racism, and skin colour is not related to physical attractiveness, rather just personal preference... most guys have their own set of attributes which they want to find in another guy, and skin colour in most cases is naturally one of the attributes

 

[NameTaken]

why is it that guys post ads on craigslist or state on their adam4adam profiles that they want only "white or latin guys"?? I know everyone has their own tastes but why is race or skin color a factor in deciding good sex? Its as if these guys dicks wont get hard from the site of darker skin tones?? I just dont understand it..discrimination within the gay community?!? The hate never stops!! I've had so many guys want to fuck me when they hear my stats..as soon as i send a pic of my chest (six pack btw) they stop contact just beause of my skin color!!!!

Like one guy said "white and latin guys only" in his ad. I had talked to this guy before and after he saw my skin tone he ignored all emails. So this time I e-mailed him calling him racist and asking why he was discriminating. He proceeds to give me "examples" to justify his actions: "If you dont like italian food does that make u racist?" WTF He compared human beings to food!! The nerve of these people..

IMO, when it's about looking for somebody who you're attracted to that's kind of the same thing as asking for "only skinny guys" or "no fat guys please". If you are only attracted to white guys or only attracted to skinny guys, it doesn't mean you hate black guy or that you hate fat guys, it's just that you aren't attracted to them. Askin for men to only apply also doesn't mean you hate women, you just aren't attracted to them.

When it's someting like craigslist the whole point is generally for a one night stand or whatever. this means you won't have lots of time to get to know somebody to see if you find their personality attractive, so you'll just have to base your decision off of what you find immediately physically attractive.

 

[Twistedup]

lol how can you accuse someone of being racist for not liking you? so many things determine what turns someone on; age, height, body fat, skin color, voice, the presence of certain genitalia...

you like what you like. you can like whatever the fuck you want sexually. that does not make you a racist. i'm not into old guys...kids either for that matter...does that mean i don't like them? no. i'm not into short guys or fat guys...does that mean i don't like them? no. i'm not into black guys or asian guys or native americans...does that mean i don't like them? no. i'm not really into girls, or guys that act, dress, talk, or whine and cry like girls...does that mean i don't like them? no...well you get my point.

also, there are always exceptions...but they are few and far between.
BTW i'm hispanic, black, and white mixed.

just because you make my dick limp doesn't mean i don't like you.

edit---also...more evidence that racism has nothing to do with sexual preference...i think there are people out there who really do hate black people, but are sexually attracted to them. there are probably very many. there are men who hate women, but cannot remove their attraction to them. i don't like jocks...hanging out in a gym tells me that you don't like to read. i know, this is a generalization and isn't true...but it is how i think and it will take something major to chance that opinion. this doesn't mean i don't fantasize about them every day...i think racism works the same way.

 

[joshmode]

"no. i'm not into black guys or asian guys or native americans...does that mean i don't like them? no."

I keep getting the same thing. "I don't hate them just because I'm not attracted to them" Have you ever actually wondered WHY you're that way?? Why would you not get aroused by a person that was black, asian, or native american?? Is it media? Fashion industry? Something has made your dick unable to get sexually aroused by these group of people.. Is it the way you were raised?

People usually prefer guys that are muscular with abs over a guy with a beer belly and man boobs. The reason for that is because a guy with a beer belly and man boobs is considered to be "lazy" and "eats junk". I think thats bullshit and untrue and I wouldnt discriminate over someones weight but that is many peoples way of thinking. So im sick of the weight and height comparisons. "i dont like guys that are shorter than me, do i hate them? no" People of different races come in all shapes and sizes, muscular, chubby, tall, short.

Now, there has to be a reason you arent attracted to a certain race. Even if you honestly aren't racist. Think of why you arent attracted to them!
You obviously dont like a particular feature that people of that race have.

Many black people for instance have a very different hair type than other races. Or Asians generally have slanted eyes. I find those features beautiful and i love diversity. Just tell the truth..you dont like them for WHAT reason. What on there body is not as attractive to you as another race. There is a reason other than "i just prefer black guys or i just prefer white guys" etc..

 

[Twistedup]

i think the feature is pigment, or lack thereof.

i find bronze to olive skin sexy as hell. because of that i'm attracted to white, latino, middle eastern people.

pale gaunt skin...not too much so...this includes most asians and many white people.

pink skin...no way.

very dark skin...including many latinos, native americans, middle easterners, islanders...sorry but it just doesn't do it.

that, THE SKIN, is the feature. not eye shape. not hair density or whatever. pigment color. that doesn't mean we can't be friends. it doesn't mean i don't want my mom or sister dating you. i just means i'm not attracted.

maybe i'm too picky...i don't think so. i think i'm just like everyone else.

 

[joshmode]

Thank you twistedup for having the courage to post that. But still you haven't answered the second part of the question.. Why? Have you actually thought about it and said.."why am i less attracted to darker or paler skin tones ?" What has made you that way. Media? In school were there many pale and darker skinned people and bronze and olive skinned people were rare, so you find that attractive? Maybe its more exotic and foreign to you? or just the opposite..maybe they were more prevalent and dark and paler skinned werent..Are they more familiar to you?

 

[Twistedup]

maybe it's cause when i was little these black and puerto rican kids up the street used to throw rocks at me.

just kidding. that never happened.

i think i was born this way. i think it is inherent and nothing at any point could have affected it. i think that if, tomorrow, two new south american native groups were discovered and one had green skin and the other blue, i very well may be turned on by one and not the other. i think that the ten people in this world that i would find most attractive...i've probably never met and i probably never will, and there is no way i could explain what features they may or may not have.

its not the media. its not childhood experiences. its not a matter of being rare or exotic. it's just the way i am. its just the way we are, the way we've always been, and the way we always will be.

you're looking for an answer that doesn't exist. a theme i find more and more in the forums. it makes me sad and happy at the same time.

oh and no fucking in the dark is not a solution. for any solution to arise there has to be a problem first.

 

[joshmode]

That was a really good reply but i have to disagree with the "born this way" theory. I refuse to believe you're born to be physically attracted to certain races. How is that possible? Are you going to tell me its in your blood to not find blacks or native americans attractive? Are you going to tell me your brain formed a certain way in your mothers womb that made you not sexually attracted to asians?? I can't even begin to imagine that as true..seriously..like i said before..there has to be a reason. Whether you know what the reason is or if u dont know. There is a logical reason other than " i was born this way"

True, it may not be a "problem". Yeah you have the freedom to fuck whoever you want. You're not going to have a heart attack and die because you dont find native americans sexually attractive. Its just the question of Why?? Its not inherited..its taught. Whether intentional or not.

 

[Twistedup]

Are you going to tell me its in your blood to not find blacks or native americans attractive? Are you going to tell me your brain formed a certain way in your mothers womb that made you not sexually attracted to asians??

that is exactly what i'm telling you.

perhaps, someday, some scientist will pinpoint the 'jungle fever' (excuse my slang) or the 'white guys only' genes. just as perhaps, someday, they will find the gay gene, or the pedophile gene. hell maybe they already have. well i believe whether it has been identified or not, it is definitely there.

and please people don't accuse me of comparing gays to pedophiles. that's just fucking retarded.

at this...i'm going to bed before this conversation gets me in trouble. hope i've helped out a bit.

 

[Caeth]

When you're looking for a fuck, looks are the main thing. Even when it's more than that, looks are a big factor. Skin color is part of appearance.

They're not saying you're less of a person because you're black...they're saying I don't want to fuck you because you're black. There's a difference. It's like saying I don't want to fuck you because you're shorter than I am...or too hairy...or whatever reason.

 

[Treborf]

Depends. Wouldn't it be racist for me to say "I'm never gonna date a white person cuz all white people are crazy", that doesn't sound racist at all?

Thinking all white people are crazy=racist
Not being sexually attracted to white people=not racist

They're two separate things

 

[Twistedup]

ok...you guys have officially brought this discussion down to the level of being retarded. it is not about race!!!!!

of course, if i didn't like a race because of social constructs i've been brought up with, i would probably not date them...that said, i would still very likely be attracted to them. i am attracted to people i dislike of many races every day.

there are white guys who are too dark, who don't turn me on. there are white guys who are too pail...(gingers?)...who definitely don't turn me on.

there are black guys who are real pale and they do turn my on. same with people of all other races.

why am i even arguing this?

look...i'm sorry, but nothing you can say will make me feel bad for not wanting to sleep with you.

 

[Treborf]

True, but sometimes they overlap. Some people aren't sexually attracted to whites because they think they're all crazy. It's cause and effect. A racist mentality breeds racist dating habits.

I guess this discussion really requires people to be honest about their racially-inclusive dating habits. I'll be honest, I used to hate white people. When I moved into an area that was mostly white I felt like an outsider and I was picked on for being the only black kid and grew up with the proverbial chip on my shoulder. If I were dating at the time, I would not have dated white guys and of course I can deflect with "It's just my preference" or "I'm not racist" but the truth is I WAS racist and my "preference" was based on preconceived notions of white people.

The idea that racism does not exist in the dating world rests on two highly illogical concepts.

1. Racists don't date, hence there being no racism in the dating scene.

or

2. People who are racist all of a sudden drop their prejudice when they're searching for mates.

Of course racism exists in the dating world but we're less likely to recognize it because we hold on to our prejudices tooth and nail, we don't recognize them, and few people are bold enough to own up to racist mentalities so I don't expect anyone to be forthcoming, I'm not surprised that people are rushed to post "I'm not prejudice." Reminds me of people who say "I'm not racist but......"

Of course there are plenty of racists out there. But craigslist post or the preferences listed on an a4a profile just aren't good indicators. It would be unfair to assume someone racist on that basis alone.

 

[Twistedup]

there is no way i could possibly have been more forthcoming without lying to sate you. you don't want an answer. you don't want a discussion. you want an apology.

well here you go...and i think i speak for many many people here.

i am sorry i was born who i am. i am sorry i like certain foods, colors, songs and fuck buddies more than others. most of all i am sorry that you feel victimized for being born who you are, and perhaps not within my tastes. perhaps.


what you're doing is calling me a racist...maybe in different terms but it IS what you're getting at. why? because of my natural preferences and inclinations.

that, my friend, is bullshit.

 

[ZeoStar]

True, but we're not assuming anyone in particular is racist, we're just discussing racism via dating attitudes/preferences. The conversation is tricky because people aren't being forthcoming with why they prefer one over another.

Given the number of people on this site, it's a given that there are some people with racial hangups but no one's being honest about it. I admitted that I used to have issues with dating white people that were directly based on racism. Maybe I'm the only one.

You're absolutely right. I've already admitted mine and gave a very brief synopsis, but let me explain the reason...

My neighborhood I grew up in from elementary to high school had its share of "thugs", if you want to call them that, that annoyed/bothered/teased me and another intelligent (geeky, if you will) guy on a virtually daily basis. Every time I went out somewhere, I would see more acting like those in my neighborhood that I hated.

Then, as I became aware that there was a gay scene out there and started to explore it, I was increasingly turned off by the gay black males that were overly feminine (turn off) and unable to be honest with anyone (SERIOUS turn off) including themselves.

Hell, at this point in time, I avoided all "rednecks" at school because everyone had always said that they dislike black guys and are racist towards them. Then, I met Jeremiah and he totally debunked that myth because he came across as a really kind hearted guy despite his shared qualities with others. Furthermore, his family actually told me that they did not approve of him being friends with me at first until they met me and saw how we got along. I asked them why they didn't at first and they didn't even hold back. They flat out said, "we see all these things on TV and when we go places about how black guys your age act and we didn't want him in a bad situation, but you're not like that at all."

But I digress...

These, coupled with a few unmentioned things here, made me more partial to be attracted to people outside of my race or at least not from the USA. The exceptions were the black kid across the street I grew up with (he was cute, yes) and another black kid at school I knew that I later found out was gay. I don't mark off black guys from my list totally, but they aren't near the top I'll admit. But, again, if they present themselves as not ignorant then we can talk.

That being said, I fully agree with you totally up to this point. The problem is a race issue if you're not accepting someone or making a decision against them, for whatever activity it may be, because of the color of their skin only. I can't begin to tell you the number of times I'm asked if I play basketball...

 

[volumee]

This isn't racism... it's prefrence...
For whoever said sex is sex.... your kinda wrong. Why would you have sex with someone your not attracted to? You need to enjoy sex.. that's what sex is all about. Why would you possibly have sex or go on a date with someone your not at all attracted to? Looking on the streets, you see someone else hot, but your partner is not hot at all. But your still with them. That's what I call living a lie, like gay's in the closet.

I've seen the UGLIEST black guys on earth. But i've also see the HOTTEST! It doesn't matter to me if their darker, or lighter. I've seen some of the ugliest asians, but I've also seen the hottest. For example theres already couple of hot asians in my classes. This doesn't make me racist if i'm not attracted to them. It's just a prefrence. If i'm attracted to someone, i'll get a boner. If i'm not.. then I won't. It doesn't matter what race to me...

Stop like... sterotyping all people who perfer "whites" as racists. I understand where you going with this, but it's not their fault what their attracted to... You're gay.. or bisexual after all remember ?

 

[Kyanimal]

O.K., Guys. Here's another "Blast from the Past"!

I was born in 1950! Yeah! Way back then! The prevailing social attitudes, in "The States", at the time ... If you're not White, You don't "count"! And ... You're likely Lazy, "Dim", and, probably, Violent! That is what I was "taught"!

My family moved every 3 to 5 yr. Beginning in small towns/communities that were ALL White! As the places where we lived got bigger, people of different races began showing up. Just a few, at first.

My High School, up until Junior year, had several black folks, but not all that many. And, they were generally ignored ... "shuffled" to the side/excluded from the "main" scenes. And, that, was somehow considered "Right"!

At the end of Junior Year, we moved to Youngstown, Ohio. My Senior Year was in an "inner city" High School that was more than half "Black"!! The "Whites" were still in "control". But ... I was scared "Shitless"!! (Short, little, White Dude suddenly plunged into "Darkness"!!)

It was the Spring/Summer of 1967. But, I managed to make friends, mostly White, but, also, a few across those "racial" lines. I began to discover there were "Real People" inside those different colored skins!

Spring of 1968. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" premiers. Three White couples, and three Black couples, "exchanged" dates to go see the movie. We thought We were being ever so "Kewl"! And, made quite a "scene"! My "Black date" was one of the cutest, funniest, most enjoyable girls I'd ever met! (And, her "real" boyfriend had always been keeping an "eye" on us, whenever we were in the same room!)

Graduation.

Then ... the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and Dr. King! It seemed the entire country was going up in flames, literally!, and locked down under Marshal Law! Of course, it was the "Blacks" that were rioting! I was scared "Shitless" again, by anyone of a "different color" that I didn't already know!

I was walking, alone, mid day, down the sidewalk near my house. A car full of Black guys went by yelling "Hey, "Chuck"!" (Which happened to be my "real" name.) and flipping me "The Bird"! But ... I didn't run, because I didn't see brake lights! They weren't stopping. Still ... my legs nearly turned to jelly!

I was Prejudiced! I was Racist! I was "Conditioned"!! And, I was scared!!

Fall of 1968. Freshman Year at Northwestern, in Chicago! More riots at the Democratic Convention! The "world" was exploding! SDS! "The Weathermen"! "Black Panthers"! Police brutality! Civil disobedience! More Marshal Law!

But there was also "Flower Power" and "Free Love"! Without that, I doubt I would have ever Learned to come out of my Racist Cocoon!!

My point? (Finally!)

Racism is Taught! Whether through "Social Norms" or personal experiences/encounters with those that are "different" than You. But ... it can also be "Overcome" through a willingness/determination to LEARN! "Generalizations" can be broken through. One person at a time!

I am lucky enough to have gotten "past" my narrow mindedness. Someone's "outside" is not an indication of what's "inside"! And the BEAUTY of Racial Diversity is something that I've grown to Appreciate! Perhaps ... one of my greatest, personal, accomplishments!

Breaking through my "Gay" barrier is a completely different, though still the "same" story! These days ... having "dated" a GUY is far more preferable to having limited my "choices" by something as "mere" as "Race"!!

I hope this has made a little bit of sense ...

And, of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz ;-)

 

[texan_slant]

It's preference - not racism.

 

[Guy89]

Some people are taking this way too hard. It's not racism. It's a matter of attraction AKA preference. You can't help being gay anymore than you can help not being attracted to black/white/whatever guys. Some people like skinny guys, some like fat guys, some like muscles, some think certain hair or eye colors are more attractive than others, and some people like certain races. Just because someone isn't attracted to a characteristic doesn't make them some sort of whatever-ist. This is being blown way out of proportion.

 

[hanzosword]

The thing I don't understand about these so called "preferences" is that nobody has seen every person of a particular color so how can you say you are not attracted to anyone of that color? There are attractive and unattractive people of every single color and I don't understand how anyone can exclude people because of their skin color alone.

What about those who are biracial and hot?

I totally understand having preferences because I am not attracted to overweight people but I just think it is really close-minded of people to exclude all the many beautiful people out there from your preferences.

I'm just saying if it's nice abs you like and nice smile, nice body, cute face, nice dick, a good personality etc, and someone outside your racial preferences has all those things why are they automatically excluded? If you can't answer that question then you should take a look at why you really have the preferences you have.