racist guys?

[Jerry]

Racism is something that consumes your entire mindset. Sexual preference is just a tiny fraction of that mindset. Not being sexually attracted to someone because of their race doesn't cross over into being completely intolerant and carrying a hatred of that entire race. They're not the same thing.

And no, all people of any given race don't look the same, but many of them have similar features. As human beings, we take that complex and vast array of features and break them down into simplified groups. It's the way our minds work. Are you really implying that the person who made the ad should've said "Men with light skin, straight hair, and Spanish accents only?" Is our society really that politically correct at this point?

Lastly, let's look at the context of this scenario. We're talking about anonymous hookup sites here. Most people go to those with one direct goal in mind, and it's to hookup with an object of fantasy: a jock, an Asian person, a hairy person, a cross-dresser, a guy who's willing to pee on them, whatever that fantasy may be. Just because the person who puts up the ad turns down somebody who DOESN'T fulfill that fantasy for anonymous sex doesn't mean that they'd turn them down for normal sex all the time. Someone can put up an ad asking for only white people, but if Tyson Beckford showed up at their door five minutes later with a box of condoms and lube, they'd probably say yes.

So for the last time, sexual preference is not indicative of someone's overall racial attitude. I don't know why anyone would think it is.

Excellent post!

I tried to say the same thing but couldn't pull it off. But that about sums up how I feel about it too

 

[Kyanimal]

Excellent post, vetterx021!

I tried to say the same thing but couldn't pull it off. But that about sums up how I feel about it too

And I totally agree!

Besides ... at my age ... and with all I've learned about people, in general ... "Race" would likely be the very last "deal breaker" possibility!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[youngnihilist]

Sexual preference is heavily tied to race. Black men are sought after in Europe, where there was never any instutional racism against blacks. In the US, it was illegal for whites and blacks to be seen in public together, much less have sex, just 50 years ago. Why is it that the white people of Europe are heavily attracted to blacks but the white people of America not so much? The remnants of our racist past that emphasized segregation of the races.

 

[Vardon78]

I'm not going to go into the whole race issue in the gay community, because I have talked about it (and lived it) to death and I had to learn to let go of that anger. But I will say that in my opinion it seems to be more of an issue in the US gay community. I have been fortunate enough to have been able to live abroad and I can tell you that its not as big an issue here as it is back in the US. Does it happen, of course, but I've found that it happens so little that you just shrug and say "whatever" and move on. For every one that's not into black guys, there 3 more hot ones that wouldn't even give race a second thought. None of my gay black friends here in the UK complain about racism in the gay community, but nearly all of my gay black friends in the US do.
My advice to my American Black Brothas? Go to Berlin, particular to the Hustlaball event if you can. You'll be beating them off you with a stick!

 

[Vardon78]

Sexual preference is heavily tied to race. Black men are sought after in Europe, where there was never any instutional racism against blacks. In the US, it was illegal for whites and blacks to be seen in public together, much less have sex, just 50 years ago. Why is it that the white people of Europe are heavily attracted to blacks but the white people of America not so much? The remnants of our racist past that emphasized segregation of the races.

I seem to find that German gay men are really attracted to me. The complexion and features that their US counterparts found so unattractive is like an added bonus to them. Living abroad definitely boosted my confidence sexually because coming from gay Chicago, I used to feel a lot like the Original Poster does. I have practically given up on US gay men but that doesn't mean I would never date or have sex with one ever again. It's just that the European boys are keeping me pretty occupied at the moment.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Because I don't want to get e-killed for having a differing opinion that it looks like people are pretty pissed about hearing "over and over and over and over and over".

Why even bother expressing myself. Both sides aren't going to change their opinions. They're just going to keep trying to enforce their own and convert people. What's the point. Nobody wins at these things. They just waste a piece of their life.

Nobody ever "enlightens" somebody else, and even if they do the other person never admits it. So really. What's the point?

It only seems like talking is pointless because changes comes too gradually to notice. The cumulative effects of discussions like this build over time. And somebody will "win," if you can call it that, eventually. We just won't be here to see it.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I agree that European whites seem to be far more racially accepting than their Canadian and American counterparts, even today. All of the white men that I have had sexual contact with over the last seven years have been from outside of North America.

But, where they're coming from (figuratively and literally), I don't think they understand or appreciate the specific frustrations of the gay African American male, or the racial tensions we face, daily, over here.

They can't understand why I'm not completely at peace with this experience that I've lived. And they certainly don't get why I care about what younger minorities are dealing with.

 

[SonOfSlobone]

I don't think craigslist should accept listings like that. They wouldn't if it was a job opening. Maybe nobody's in charge over there...

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Racism is something that consumes your entire mindset. Sexual preference is just a tiny fraction of that mindset. Not being sexually attracted to someone because of their race doesn't cross over into being completely intolerant and carrying a hatred of that entire race. They're not the same thing.

And no, all people of any given race don't look the same, but many of them have similar features. As human beings, we take that complex and vast array of features and break them down into simplified groups. It's the way our minds work. Are you really implying that the person who made the ad should've said "Men with light skin, straight hair, and Spanish accents only?" Is our society really that politically correct at this point?

Lastly, let's look at the context of this scenario. We're talking about anonymous hookup sites here. Most people go to those with one direct goal in mind, and it's to hookup with an object of fantasy: a jock, an Asian person, a hairy person, a cross-dresser, a guy who's willing to pee on them, whatever that fantasy may be. Just because the person who puts up the ad turns down somebody who DOESN'T fulfill that fantasy for anonymous sex doesn't mean that they'd turn them down for normal sex all the time. Someone can put up an ad asking for only white people, but if Tyson Beckford showed up at their door five minutes later with a box of condoms and lube, they'd probably say yes.

So for the last time, sexual preference is not indicative of someone's overall racial attitude. I don't know why anyone would think it is.

I uderstand what you are attempting to say, but it is incorrect in the extreme. Racism is not necessarily all-consuming. Often its quite selective, subtle, and self-contradictory. There's a long tradition of people being open-minded in some ways, but blatantly racist in other ways. I think of all the white people who admired and preferred blacks in one context, but denigrated them in another. Are they any less racist for their inconsistency? I think sexual practices and preferences are sometimes indicative of overall racial attitudes. Some of my own personal experiences confirm that.

 

[LatinoSTAR]

i know a bunch of white dudes who only go for white or latino guys..

while myself, i am not particualry inclined to date black or white guys, i usually go for the middle men..latino, asian, middle eastern. etc, i still dont turn a guy down because he is black or white, its just what i am mostly attracted to...my preference..

 

[chimere]

Racism is something that consumes your entire mindset. Sexual preference is just a tiny fraction of that mindset. Not being sexually attracted to someone because of their race doesn't cross over into being completely intolerant and carrying a hatred of that entire race. They're not the same thing.

And no, all people of any given race don't look the same, but many of them have similar features. As human beings, we take that complex and vast array of features and break them down into simplified groups. It's the way our minds work. Are you really implying that the person who made the ad should've said "Men with light skin, straight hair, and Spanish accents only?" Is our society really that politically correct at this point?

Lastly, let's look at the context of this scenario. We're talking about anonymous hookup sites here. Most people go to those with one direct goal in mind, and it's to hookup with an object of fantasy: a jock, an Asian person, a hairy person, a cross-dresser, a guy who's willing to pee on them, whatever that fantasy may be. Just because the person who puts up the ad turns down somebody who DOESN'T fulfill that fantasy for anonymous sex doesn't mean that they'd turn them down for normal sex all the time. Someone can put up an ad asking for only white people, but if Tyson Beckford showed up at their door five minutes later with a box of condoms and lube, they'd probably say yes.

So for the last time, sexual preference is not indicative of someone's overall racial attitude. I don't know why anyone would think it is.

While your post was eloquent, you're missing the larger structural problem - racial attitudes are socially constructed the same way our sexual attitudes are.

And I disagree - I think there are many men, when asking for only white men, would also turn down Tyson Beckford. And even the ones that are willing to fuck Tyson Beckford, would do so because it's Beckford, and not merely dismiss him because he's black. Seriously, there's a political group called "racists for Obama". When you see someone as an individual as opposed to a social group, you treat them differently. Many gay men will dismiss blacks off hand, even if they may not if they saw each black as an individual. But the fact that they do not is affirmation to racially-ingrained attitudes.

You don't hear the media ever calling a criminal as being "white", but when the criminal is black, you are sure that race is brought up. Because white people are unique snowflakes and everybody else are merely members of a race, right?

And you're claiming that anonymous sex != normal sex. Yet I see the "no X race" even on sites such as gaydar, which is both for people looking for hookups and dating. You're claiming it's "merely fantasy". I think it's much deeper than that.

The fact that people say "no X race" on anonymous NSA sex ads is simply because they are able to get away with it. They are able to be as shallow and reckless as much as they want because consequences don't matter in a NSA sex ad - they're looking for a one night stand, not a boyfriend. But who says these shallow preferences are thrown out the window when they're looking for a boyfriend?

They aren't. Just because a person doesn't state shallow preferences on a "serious ad" doesn't mean they don't exist. Minorities in America are not merely be denied anonymous sex in concern with particular "sexual fantasies" - they are being denied "serious" dating, and long-term relationships too.

Various economists have published papers on dating preferences in America. To say that race suddenly disappears when people are not looking for shallow one-night standers is simply misguided.

 

[chimere]

Sexual preference is heavily tied to race. Black men are sought after in Europe, where there was never any instutional racism against blacks. In the US, it was illegal for whites and blacks to be seen in public together, much less have sex, just 50 years ago. Why is it that the white people of Europe are heavily attracted to blacks but the white people of America not so much? The remnants of our racist past that emphasized segregation of the races.

Australia is also a very terrible place for gay minorities. This too, makes sense, given the legacy of the "White Australia" policies, just 30 years ago. And, of course, don't get me started on South Africa.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

i know a bunch of white dudes who only go for white or latino guys..

while myself, i am not particualry inclined to date black or white guys, i usually go for the middle men..latino, asian, middle eastern. etc, i still dont turn a guy down because he is black or white, its just what i am mostly attracted to...my preference..

A lot of people like latinos, asians, and middle easterners because they seem to be a mixture of different racial elements that blend together harmoniously: african, asian, caucasian. I can understand the draw those types have. But I have to remind myself sometimes, that those same elements are present among less, or differently blended types as well. Last summer I saw a "crispy" black Puerto Rican that damn near brought me to my knees on sight! Life is full of surprises.

 

[goldenmunkey]

Hop on a flight and head over there. When you get there walk hand-in-hand with a white female, you may find a surprise.

It seriously depends on what part of Europe you are. In the UK, I'd do it, but anywhere else that isn't Ireland, France, Holland or Germany - I'd be the equivilant of a walking zoo. As I grew up in London, I wouldn't think twice about doin it there -alas when you're in Love, you're in love!

Im not entirely out of the closet yet but I've been having a thing with an old school "friend" of mine. Until a while back he said "I've never had a black dick before", that sorta left me feelling a little cold.

 

[Vardon78]

Yes racism is still alive and well here in the UK (BNP anyone?) and throughout other parts of Europe (parts of Spain and Portugal can be pretty shady towards blacks), but what I was getting at is that in my experience in the gay communities in London, Manchester, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Madrid and even Valletta in Malta, my being black was never as big of a hangup like it was back in gay community of Chicago. Sure those hangups do exist in those gay communities but to me it was more of an exception than the rule. When cruising on hookup sites you don't see "no blacks, sorry" or "caucasion/white or latino only" in almost every other profile. It does happen but there are so many more hot, attractive men that don't give a shit about you race that it doesn't seem to sting or hurt as much.

 

[chimere]

Yes racism is still alive and well here in the UK (BNP anyone?) and throughout other parts of Europe (parts of Spain and Portugal can be pretty shady towards blacks), but what I was getting at is that in my experience in the gay communities in London, Manchester, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Madrid and even Valletta in Malta, my being black was never as big of a hangup like it was back in gay community of Chicago. Sure those hangups do exist in those gay communities but to me it was more of an exception than the rule. When cruising on hookup sites you don't see "no blacks, sorry" or "caucasion/white or latino only" in almost every other profile. It does happen but there are so many more hot, attractive men that don't give a shit about you race that it doesn't seem to sting or hurt as much.

Guess I know where I'm moving now

Double the awesome because I totally prefer uncut guys and they're all uncut in Europe

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I don't know whether or not this is racism, but it actually routinely makes me want to die. so, eh.

This year, I've made a sincere effort to discuss this issue in measured, non-emotional terms, just for the sake of respectfulness. It does no good to judge people. But I just want the really young guys out there (under 30, if not under 25) to know, from someone who has been around for some time, that all these racial/color preferences and dislikes are deeply, deeply rooted in absolutely crazy misconceptions and fears that people have about race and ethnicity.

Young people, don't believe your elders who say "...it's just a preference." They've been in denial about their own racially predjudicial leanings for decades and will still be lying about it when they're permanently horizontal.

DON'T REPEAT THE MISTAKES OF MY GENERATION! Learn to accept and value one another as friends, lovers, whatever arrangements you can work out and whatever your color.

It just breaks my heart when I hear 19 and 20 years olds convinced that: "I'm not into black guys," or "I'm not into white guys," or "I'm not into asian guys." And this is not about me, this is about them. In many smaller cities, there aren't that many gay guys to go around period. Why exclude each other over something dumb like this?

I just feel that when you limit yourself that way, you'll miss out on real love when it walks into your life, as surely it will. And you will regret those missed opportunities for the rest of your life.

Just something to think about. Ultimately there's no blame in this game. Make your own choice.

 

[chimere]

I would definitely say that I'm not a racist, but I acknowledge that my preference stems from society's standard of beauty. Every "race" has beautiful and ugly people, but give me a room full of the most beautiful people in the world and I'd probably pick the multiracial guy...but I definitely wouldn't mind the other guys either

So you acknowledge that your preferences are inherently racist and favourable to "white" characteristics because you are aware - but you actively participate in them?

That, to me, is worse than the person who is unaware but does the same.

 

[Kyanimal]

UltraBlue ...

Your first two posts are Quite Impressive!

WELCUM to JUB!!

Definitely looking forward to hearing more from You, around the boards!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[lookin4sum1icantrust]

Can it be a personality issue, instead of a racist issue???