racist guys?

[BabiGayPimp]

Essentially, someone might not necessarily be a racist because they have a preference for "race a", but their notions of beauty come from a society where the standard of beauty tends to be closer to white-european feautres.


yay for my first post

UltraBlue, I think your post represents a mature and articulate point of view. You acknowledge your leanings, but have an acute awareness of the basis of those preferences. And your mind is open to change. We should all be so honest and self-aware. You could go places unimagined thinking like that. Kudos!

 

[bayern20]

Here is the key point.

The guy that makes a craiglist post that says "only whites" is the same guy that will not give many whites a chance. They are probably just a very selective, picky, person and they are looking for very specific things. The suggestion is that whites have a shot but I think thats missing the point about people like that.


I think the poster who started this thread is a bit naive. We are all born different, its not just skin color, but different heights, weights, faces, skin tones, body structure, eyes, etc

And the fact of the matter is, guys that would be classified as BAD looking have a much harder time overall in terms of being judged on EVERYTHING than what your skin colour is..as long as you are viewed as attractive.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Here is the key point.

The guy that makes a craiglist post that says "only whites" is the same guy that will not give many whites a chance. They are probably just a very selective, picky, person and they are looking for very specific things. The suggestion is that whites have a shot but I think thats missing the point about people like that.


I think the poster who started this thread is a bit naive. We are all born different, its not just skin color, but different heights, weights, faces, skin tones, body structure, eyes, etc

And the fact of the matter is, guys that would be classified as BAD looking have a much harder time overall in terms of being judged on EVERYTHING than what your skin colour is..as long as you are viewed as attractive.

Not so sure I agree with this. Some people are so color struck they will sleep with anybody who's the "white, err right race," sight unseen. And in that case I just have to say more power to 'em! 'Cause chile, somebody's got to do it!

 

[crossroads]

For some people it's just preference, for some people it's racism. Some people just are naturally inclined to white guys but they'd give a black guy a chance. The racist wouldn't even give a black guy a chance because of his prejudice. It's hard to define because few people admit to being racist so you gotta play by ear.

I would second that.

People walk differently than talk.

 

[kramer362]

Call me an optimist but I like to chalk it up to just a preference based on sexual attraction, the same way some guys prefer physical characteristics- certain hair color, height, build, etc. I'm sure I have preferences, but as of now all I know is I can find any decent looking, clean guy who is somewhat in shape attractive for the most part. Upon getting to know someone my attractions might be even broader?

Maybe peoples' preferences are based on perpetuated beliefs that date back to a darker period of our history, but I sincerely hope it's just similar to a preference for guys blonde hair and blue eyes, for example. Naive perhaps, but personally I have found guys of all races outside and including my own attractive. In fact, I find guys of other race exotic just because it's different from me, lol.

And hearing about race so much is exhausting. The whole 'is America ready for a black president?!" nonsense made me wanna bang my head against a wall. I wish we could just start with a blank slate starting with the current generation of kids. A nice simple explanation to your kids why someone would look different from them: "well son, your ancestral heritage is different from his, isn't it neat how people can look different but yet be so similar in wanting the same things in life? To be treated loved, accepted, and treated equally?" God I'm such a simple-minded hippie dweeb.

Or maybe America will become enough of a melting pot that we all look the same and can focus on something that actually matters, like setting rules that it's only acceptable to wanna partner with someone of the opposite sex.

 

[Blacksheep]

For me personally it's entirely a preference.
Black women are about the only women I find attractive (superficially don't want to have sex with them) .

I don't find overweight men or women attractive, and don't find black men or middle eastern men attractive (exceptions exist but it's rare). I prefer Asian guys to white guys.

Now to be somewhat racist I think I could mount an argument that I'm less attracted to black people and middle eastern men because generally they look more masculine. Whereas Asian guys are as a whole more feminine looking. To further contradict I prefer to bottom and have no interest in guys who act/are overly feminine so I have no idea what my issues are.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

For me personally it's entirely a preference.
Black women are about the only women I find attractive (superficially don't want to have sex with them) .

I don't find overweight men or women attractive, and don't find black men or middle eastern men attractive (exceptions exist but it's rare). I prefer Asian guys to white guys.

Now to be somewhat racist I think I could mount an argument that I'm less attracted to black people and middle eastern men because generally they look more masculine. Whereas Asian guys are as a whole more feminine looking. To further contradict I prefer to bottom and have no interest in guys who act/are overly feminine so I have no idea what my issues are.

Blacksheep, I know exactly what you're getting at and you are not to be faulted for that. Certain types of people simply affect you in certain ways based upon their looks and your interpretation. But still, you have to admit that some of your preconceptions are based on stereotypes (soulful black sistas, mellow asians, strong, intimidating africanic black men). Real life is less straightfoward than that. Many don't fit the stereotypes. Though lots of guys say my "zulu warrior" negroid presence is a little too much for them! LOL! LOL!

 

[bayern20]

I'm not generalizing. I'm speaking of the ones I have come in contact with.

Sure, there's intolerance and racial issues everywhere...but I stand by what I said.

I'm from Bosnia, and anywhere in the Former Yugoslavia really, you would be treated very very poorly.

but then again, if we are talking about just how other gay guys view you..I think it would be much better seeing as gay guys understand discrimination better.

 

[Lostlover]

I find it funny that some people still dont get how fat and being black are two totally different things. Would it be okay for someone to say they don't date Jews? Would it be okay for someone to say they would never have sex with left-handed people? You can't narrow down being black to a single physical quality because it ISNT. I've seen italians or latinos that are darker than some light-skinned black people. So if it's not skin color, what is it?

It's sad that SO many people think there's nothing racist about this.

A lot of it has to do with education. I don't think there are too many educated, cultured people who even if they have a racial preference would be as open in their wish for a "black only" or "white only" response.

That's foolish.

I have a black buddy here that just graduated from an ivy league school and he gets caught up off of trash off the internet that rejects him for superficial reasons like race or height.

My question to my buddy is, "why are you feelings hurt?" You really should be proud that nothing came of it with this "person".

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Honestly I think you're looking WAY too deep into this.
I mean, personally, I'm attracted to all races but I do have preferences. I have a soft spot for white guys. I'm bi-racial [mexican/caucasian]. Why do I like white guys? I don't know but if you want to get into that... Why do I like men? Why am I a gay man? Is it because on some level I'm sexest? I don't think so. I'm quite fond of women [not sexually but in terms of friendship etc] Or how about straight men? Are they not sexually attracted to other men because they've got problems with their own sex? Sounds ridiculous I know but is it possible? I just think it's ignorant to attack [maybe not the best word] people because of their preference, but if you are going to you can't pick and choose what you're going to discuss.

Some might say it's ignorant to equate gender preference with race preference. We have male and female restrooms, but we don't have black and white restrooms. We have petite and "plus" clothing sizes, but we don't have black and white clothing sizes. Race is not equivalent to other things we use to pick and chose, include and exclude each other.

And when you say you are "bi-racial" because you're mexican, I am not getting that? Mexican is not a race. It's a nationality.

Can you be more specific?

 

[Dakarai]

Really interesting thread here

I have to be brutally honest and I'll speak for myself. As a African male, growing up after apartheid in SA which did extend to my country Namibia as my country was a mandate until 1990 - I was born in 1989 - I grew up in a very diverse but conservative community and I was taught and absorbed all the pre-concieved ideas of what it is to be black, coloured and white the colour divisions that were imposed under colonial rule. .. I am indeed a mixture of all three which is from my very mixed bloodline. Some consider me black and others coloured and then comes tribilism which here in Africa is much worse than racism.

Anyway racism extends way back.. but the funny thing is history has been rewritten so many times and to many different versions of it so it's difficult to really pinpoint a strong and soild source of how it really originated and why it's so deep-rooted into us. I can admit to myself and others that I am at times racist and I cannot accept the fact that I am, have been and can be racist as it's of no real value to me and goes against my morals and world order. I have learned to appreciate others and by that I mean humans just like myself. It does make me mad when people try to explain things when infact they keep zig-zagging on the topic and some people just wish to provoke, some just want to sweep this under the carpet and call it something else.

Racism - is a form of discrimination and prejudice, in those 2 word are stereotypes, labels and so forth which we use to describe a word. Now there's one thing you should realise is that Discrimination and Prejudice are in the same boat even though there are different categories they still fall under the 2 words and theres no difference really. IMO

There are forces in this world that implemented these systems and these are the ones that need to be overthrown as they are corrupting our minds. Divide and Conquer is thier game. We are are constantly sold the Ideal image of what true beauty is and everyone strives for it but little do they know that it's just a piece of the big puzzle that the Evil ones are staging - dump people down, make them go against each other and we can control them.
We should not cast stones at each other for being a certain skin colour instead embrace diversity and fight against the ones who are delibrately causing this havoc to create a New World Order.

Having a preference - is actually infact a form of discrimination because you adding a label to it and then you start stereotyping, being prejudice which leads to Racism, Sexism, Feminism etc - I hate the words that always have an ism
These things should be removed and rather replaced with new ideas which appreciate people, humans as one race with individual essences that all interlink and connect which creates a diverse world.

If you say I only like this race, this body type etc etc and you insert a ''BUT'' I am all for diversity then you not really open-minded and you still discriminating and being prejudice. Rather be polite and open-minded and let your essence choose someone compatible for you because thats what really matters. Don't tell people ''I won't date you cause you Asian'' or ''I don't fuck black guys'', ''I love black/white guys only'' theres always a stereotype under that and it goes on and on - Me being a African male - I am faced with alotta stereotypes and I refuse to live up to them or make them a part of what actually defines me - But when a another guy tells me .. ''I love your skin colour'' or ''I like guys like you'' - then comes the stereotype/label attached to it -- they heard Africans have huges dicks, Asians are passive, Whites are the better race etc etc and they always on some sexual conquest to exploit so I just close myself off and make my exit before I get myself into things I don't want to be in. Much Love,Peace and Respect to you all

 

[Kyanimal]

^EXCELLENT, Dakari!!

Very well "Put"! And, WELCOME to JUB!!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Yes Dakarai, yours was a wonderful post because it speaks to those of us who were not born yesterday. If I had just come out, I might fall for the aurgument that racial preferences are just a matter of taste, not prejudice, but I've been around far too long for that. There's always a backstory, which is not a bad thing. But something we have to acknowledge.

 

[NineOfClubs]

So, I'm white and I'm attracted to everyone, except whites.

Am I racist?

 

[daddy kaine]

It's not racism, it's preference. I am 20, Black and Cuban and I have my preferences also. It's quite unlikely I would have sex with a man over the age of 50 but I have with men over 30. It's unlikely I will have sex with a HIV+ man or with a man known to bareback. It is unlikely I will have sex with a woman. Do you see where I am going with this? If someone has a preference toward a certain race or races, I think we all do, that doesnt necessarily equal racism. I peronally enjoy asian bottoms the most, does this somehow make me racist? I dont think so. Do I discriminate? To an extent, we all do, but as far as sex goes I'll do any guy or woman I view attractive.

 

[Dakarai]

Thanx guys glad I was allowed space to share my opinion
It's really not an easy subject to tackle because we to afraid to grab the bull by the horns and I think it's time to expose things, not just racism but many other things in the gay community and the world at large.

So, I'm white and I'm attracted to everyone, except whites.

Am I racist?

You serious with that question lol? I however have to commend you for not using the word preferences .. instead you used a strong word ''attracted'' - you cannot help who you are attracted to and when you attracted you just are - but when you allow yourself to only have preferences - you add stereotypes, labels etc to what would have been a beautiful instinctual attraction to be replaced with nothing more than surface value and limitations.

''I only like (race) guys'' - I am not racist ''BUT'' I just don't find (race) attractive, it's just my preference and its natural - I want you guys here to complete that statement to yourself and then start sinking deeper into it and ask yourself is this really true and is this real instinctual attraction or just a preferencial attraction.

It's not racism, it's preference.

I am 20, Black and Cuban and I have my preferences also. It's quite unlikely I would have sex with a man over the age of 50 but I have with men over 30.

It's unlikely I will have sex with a HIV+ man or with a man known to bareback. It is unlikely I will have sex with a woman. Do you see where I am going with this?

I peronally enjoy asian bottoms the most, does this somehow make me racist?

I'll do any guy or woman I view attractive.

Pereference is a choice - attraction isn't

I am 19 and I act according to my instinctual attraction, I went through some rough times and finally I am at a point where I am more aware of whats around me and what's really going on, I am also going through a spiritual awakening. I have no problem with someones age and I can communicate effectively with all - I would not have a problem settling down with someone who is much older than me - because age does not equote with unconditional love.

You use the word ''unlikely'' loosely to convey your point that tells me that you would consider it if the opportunity arises and the conditions are right or probably have. I think you should read up on HIV - but not just the surface level bits but the real raw uncensored truth which will definately make you think about it. I have to dig up some links my web browser bookmark folders is overloaded and unorganized ihihi however I'll assemble them and post them here

You are naturally attracted to men but you do have bisexual tendencies - everyone is bisexual to an extent. So don't say it's ''unlikely'' that I'd sleep with a woman because that tells me that you have probably considered it or have already done so, your last statement ''I'll do any guy or woman I view attractive'' it sounds kind of shallow as if whoever you find attractive you just going to use as an object and discard it. I do understand the point you trying to convey across and respect it but don't contradict yourself. I am comfortable being homosexual and instintively I am attracted to men.

You say enjoy Asian bottoms - no one said it's racist and you are allowed to associate with whomever you please but don't call it a preference and also don't infringe on someone and just view them as an object, I say so because you refered to a sexual role which made me think that they just a fetish to you, most Asians have a very refined and delicate decorum to them and are very soft people and society view them as passive - If you ever with an Asian look at them as a human, a person and a being with an essence and don't exploit them. I find Asian people to be very enthuisatic and highly charismatic people and love it when they get excited and speak english always gets a smile on my face ( I got off topic lol sorry)

One last thing be careful and think before you write something, in your response I interpreted that you wanted to get your point across as quickly as possible and try and cover up a harsh reality which trust me your sub-concious mind is aware of but you just not ready to face up to it

 

[daddy kaine]

Pereference is a choice - attraction isn't

I have to disagree with you there, I perfer asian bottoms because I am attracted to them the most. Preference and attraction are related.

 

[Dakarai]

I have to disagree with you there, I perfer asian bottoms because I am attracted to them the most. Preference and attraction are related.

It's your life live it the way you see fit but don't infringe You can disagree or agree it's your choice really. Preference and attraction are related and can be put together yes but the one is a choice and the other is just pure instinct so try and distingish between them.

 

[954dude]

Dakarai, those are some great words of wisdom. The truth has been spoken. Everything in this world has different layers and degrees.

Racism, prejudice, attraction, preference all have their similarities and differences. But they aren't that hard to distinguish from the other in my eyes.

Racist "I won't ever date someone darker than myself."
Prejudice "The way he dresses, he's probably gay."
Attraction "I like who he is and how he is."
Preference "I want a guy that's tall, slim, and athletic."

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I peronally enjoy asian bottoms the most, does this somehow make me racist? I dont think so. Do I discriminate? .

That's just the kind of racial sterotyping several of us alluded to earlier: asian bottoms? As I said, these preferences are always based on some kind of stereotype: asian bottoms, hairy whites, black tops, etc. I think when you stereotype people that is racially discriminatory. And it just keeps coming out the same way with every such discussion.