*RANT* All things must come to an end

[ucfknight12]

So after 7 months my boyfriend decides that he wants to end our relationship and just be friends. His reasons are that he wants to be career-oriented and doesn't want to get distracted in college. He said he sees a great career in his future along with some close friends, but not a family and he thinks that it's not fair to me to continue on like this and that he loves me so he has to let me go. I can't really be mad at him because I know he is sincere about this. I know that he isn't cheating on me and I know there isn't someone else. He just is way too independent and he feels that he could never get married. So I'm upset, but part of me knows that if this is what makes him happy, then that is what it is... still hurts though.... Ugh, I hate falling in love for this reason.

=\

Well now here is where I could get advice... he wants to continue hanging out and doing the same stuff that we've been doing (including the physical parts) until the end of the summer... should I do it... I'll be moving in August so I really don't want to start dating again and I am a hornball so instead of hooking up this would be a good way of "release" besides masturbating (which can get boring, its just better when there is someone else). He made it clear that we can't "date" anymore and I understand that, so should I be physical or what?

 

[puka-pride]

if u have an emotional connection with him beyond friendship then no... no you shouldn't

if u want sex then go out and get a fuck buddy and keep it at the fuck buddy status otherwise u are gonna be hurting.. trust me

 

[saymyname]

He's trying to keep you around, in bed as well, and yet not commit. Sounds fucked up to me, especially considering you probably won't be able to go from lovers to friends, especially if there is still sex involved. It sounds like he is trying to string you along. If he doesn't want all of you, don't give him any of you.

 

[hotb0d]

well I think it depends on how you really feel about him. If you really have an emotional connection (like you think he's the love of your life) then I don't think the fwb situation will work. You will never get closure that way and will feel horrible when you move.

But if you guys have a mutual agreement that the relationship probably wasn't meant to be...then I don't see anything wrong in a fwb situation. In fact I think he's a great candidate for a fwb because you already know him and you guys probably know how to satisfy and enjoy one another. So just have fun until you move, stay good friends, have a nice goodbye then move on with your life. I'm not sure how far or how long you will be moving away from him, but I'm assuming as time goes by...your friendship will fade away anyways.

 

[rareboy]

Dump his ass. It isn't like leaving a job. You don't need to give two months notice.

You can do better.

 

[ucfknight12]

well I think it depends on how you really feel about him. If you really have an emotional connection (like you think he's the love of your life) then I don't think the fwb situation will work. You will never get closure that way and will feel horrible when you move.

But if you guys have a mutual agreement that the relationship probably wasn't meant to be...then I don't see anything wrong in a fwb situation. In fact I think he's a great candidate for a fwb because you already know him and you guys probably know how to satisfy and enjoy one another. So just have fun until you move, stay good friends, have a nice goodbye then move on with your life. I'm not sure how far or how long you will be moving away from him, but I'm assuming as time goes by...your friendship will fade away anyways.

We're both moving to the same place for school (just not together)

 

[josher]

What this sounds like to me is that he wants to play the field in college rather than be tied down to a boyfriend. Or maybe he justs wants a new boyfriend. Of course I could be wrong. Clearly your feelings come second to his happiness.

If you continue as friends and fuck buddies til August, what happens, when you start college? Does he wind up calling you when he's horny, but ignoring you otherwise? Do you wind up hanging around hoping he'll call? Are you going to be hanging out in the same circles?

In my opinion you're better off making a clean break. Then when school starts you can look for someone more willing to make a commitment. (Or you can play the field too, if you want to.)

 

[exceeder]

Oh, I thought you sounded a little uneasy in your last private message.

Honestly, I think everyone here gave excellent advice. To be fair though, the only person who can really know what you need or want is you. Do you want to have a (What seems like) sex-friend type relationship, or are you too emotionally involved to do that? I've had a similar problem with a friend once (Actually the guy i lost my virginity to). I thought having sex meant we were an item. Boy was I ever naive. In the end, I stopped sleeping with him because I got no satisfaction out of random casual sex.

I hope everything works out for you

 

[bankside]

Tell him that a relationship is not an alternative to personal growth, career or academic achievement, it is a part of it.

Then dump him, and look back in a couple of years and smile at the bullet you dodged.

Because, as Rareboy said, you can do better than "Hey, I'm feeling a bit bad because I'm planning to screw you over for my career at some point in the future, but now that I've told you that, it is SUCH a burden of guilt off my mind that I'm feeling well enough for you to give me a blow job!"

Nahhhh.

 

[Audio Tech]

What this sounds like to me is that he wants to play the field in college rather than be tied down to a boyfriend.

It sounds like that to me as well. I mean... COLLEGE! BOYS! Ya THINK??

Kind of hard NOT to think that that's what this is all about.