Rant: Sister In-Law is being a bitch to me

[JFarm89]

I don't get what is going on with my brother's finace. I am room mates with her and my brother. I chose to live with my brother because well I figured why not get used to not live with my parents, and I've gained lots of independence which is a plus, and I help my brother with paying off his mortgage. I pay 500 a month in rent, which is awesome. Buy my own groceries, pay off my own bills. Settled with a good paying job. And my life is set. Except for my sister in law. She drives me nuts, she complains about the smallest things that don't really matter. She does like however contributions for everybody to help around the house, (I get that.) I do my own dishes that I cook for myself or that my brother cooks for me to eat. I clean my bathroom and my room, I vacuum my room downstairs. I once in a while mow the lawn, I occasionally help my brother if he needs assistance with any electrical work or construction. So in all I've contributed plenty. I shouldn't have to contribute to do anything. All I gotta do is pay my brother 500 bucks to keep my own space clean and tidy.

So anyway one day the demon sister in law comes home and goes ahead and yells to my brother of why her containers were still in the sink after a week stinking up the kitchen, hasn't been washed and dried. (They weren't my containers) I only use saran wrap and sandwich bags in my lunches. My brother wanted me to do them. And I told them that I'm not doing them because they aren't mine. So blah.

Another day she comes and sees that the fridge at the bottom which appeared to have a chocolate puddle at the bottom. I have no idea where it came from but eventually the blame went to me. (oh joy!) I drink chocolate milk, but I don't make chocolate milk in the fridge. I take the milk jug out of the fridge I take the Nesquik and pour it in the glass, then stir, and viola!! Then put everything back where it belonged. I didn't remember putting anything chocolate in the fridge, ever. Anyway I went on sarcastically saying: "Yes... I poured the chocolate sauce on purpose, to make it look like I did something to anger you and to make you clean it up before it turns sour."

Another thing is that I was gonna make my school lunch. And my bro's fiance did get some apples from one of her friend's from their tree. She brought them home. These apples weren't great at all they were bruised and soft and yuck. So I wanted to buy my own apples. So I bought some at a grocery store and put one in my lunch for the next day. The day that I came home from work the apples that I bought were gone and those other shitty apples that she brought home were still in the fridge. I have a hunch that it was that bitch that threw them out.

I told my brother for her to absolutely not touch my food or anything that is mine whatsoever. So I'm getting my own mini fridge. I personally don't want to even talk to her or see her face. I wanna move out somewhere else with a roommate! :/ My brother doesn't want me to leave. He wants me to talk to her and try to work things out between me and her. I will, but if this keeps on happening with small arguments that turn into big arguments for no reason I'll leave this place and live with either my dad or my mom.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I wanna move out somewhere else with a roommate! :/ My brother doesn't want me to leave. He wants me to talk to her and try to work things out between me and her. I will, but if this keeps on happening with small arguments that turn into big arguments for no reason I'll leave this place and live with either my dad or my mom.

It will. Things won't change. Start looking for a new place now. Just to let you know.

Lex

 

[JFarm89]

Things won't change. Start looking for a new place now. Just to let you know.

Lex

I had the thought that it might not change. You are correct. The sooner I leave the better eh. But if I change my lifestyle. Then it could maybe change her thoughts about me. She might then leave me alone. Her attitude will stay the same of how she will react here and there. But I know that I'll leave here someday and I feel that it will be soon. I don't feel quite ready to move to another place yet. I regret at work that I didn't choose to work at 3:30-11:00p.m. Instead I chose to work at 11:00p.m-7:00a.m the night shift.

Afternoons would have been the best choice because I wouldn't see her, just only in the morning when I wake up. And when she comes home from work, I would have been leaving to go to my work. When I get home she would've been in bed. But I wouldn't have much of a social life except on weekends.

 

[Orlandude]

This is a no-win situation and I agree with Lex. Start looking. She obviously doesn't want you there and no matter what you do to try to patch things with her, it's not going to work. She is "picking" because that's her way of getting to you. She's needling and bullying you and that's no way to live. With all due respects to your brother, he is wrong and throwing it on you doesn't make it right. Get out of there and learn a lesson from this. Living with another "couple" doesn't work and it doesn't matter if they are straight or gay. It's not a good situation.

 

[Lube]

What they said. You need to get out. Now.

 

[racer2438]

I would move into your own place. She will not change and it will gets worse b4 better. You can long for a room to rent out somewhere else in close price range(prideroommates.com) or find your own apt/studio. It will make you feel so much better and you will have peace. Start setting aside $ now and start looking.

It will save you many headaches,stress, furustrations.

 

[fbhwes]

Oh yes indeed if you have the means to leave then leave. I'm in a situation similar to yours and i feel trapped in it because i don't have the means to leave . I don't have to face an abusive sister-in-law mines pretty cool but it does get awkward me living with them(sign-o-the-times)i guess. And i don't pay nowhere near what you've been paying. My god if i did they'd probably crown me king.

 

[KaraBulut]

These little battles over silly things like chocolate spills and dishes in the sink aren't really about those little things. It's about something bigger and the little things are just an excuse to vent anger.

Here's the problem- your poor brother has a shrew for a fiancee. And he's being put in the middle of his fiancee and his brother.

For everyone's peace of mind, you should move out. At some point, your brother will have a choice to make. But that choice would be better if it is a choice between his sanity or his fiancee instead of having to chose between his brother or his fiancee. And after you move out, don't talk bad about his fiancee, just listen and be supportive when he talks bad about her. Hopefully he'll wise up before he marries her.

 

[Deandbn]

Three is a crowd and you're number three. Girls dont like to share their boyfriends with anyone. No, not even their boyfriends brother. So better you move out sooner than later. Go stay with your parents until you can find another place to stay.

 

[Telstra]

Make it look like an accident.

your bad. Its a no flame zone you know ...

 

[texan_slant]

I agree with everyone here.

Not to any fault of your's, but only circumstance -
it won't get any better, and marriages need their own space.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I DISagree. Your brother should give HER the ol' heave ho and find someone who's less of a bitch and more family orientated and can appreciate your contributions to the household.

One can't force other people to act. The only actions anyone has control over is one's own. Because yeah, Brother SHOULD get this woman in line. But by the same token, the woman SHOULD not act like this. But he isn't, and she is. So the best bet is to simply GTFO.

Lex

 

[G-Lexington]

Just pointing out the obvious. It's surprising how often people miss it.

Lex

 

[fbhwes]

These little battles over silly things like chocolate spills and dishes in the sink aren't really about those little things. It's about something bigger and the little things are just an excuse to vent anger.

Here's the problem- your poor brother has a shrew for a fiancee. And he's being put in the middle of his fiancee and his brother.

For everyone's peace of mind, you should move out. At some point, your brother will have a choice to make. But that choice would be better if it is a choice between his sanity or his fiancee instead of having to chose between his brother or his fiancee. And after you move out, don't talk bad about his fiancee, just listen and be supportive when he talks bad about her. Hopefully he'll wise up before he marries her.

I actually agree with the advice given here if he does indeed marry her then the worst thing you could do is try to tear her down when she's not around. It'll probably just push him closer to her (i've seen this quite a few times between my mom and my married sibs. I wonder about this with my brother ( since i live with him and his family . I always do whatever i have to not to make waves because i think if push came to shove he'd take them over me and i think that's probably how it should be !

 

[texan_slant]

I DISagree. Your brother should give HER the ol' heave ho and find someone who's less of a bitch and more family orientated and can appreciate your contributions to the household.

In a perfect world, the brother would be doing this, cuz I know that I would, however, when it comes to our loved ones and their partners, we have no control over who they choose to be with, nor should we over-step boundaries and try to influence it. This would be cause for resentment, and unfortunately, with family, you're stuck with them for life, and sometimes you have to just have to make the choice to walk away for the sake of maintaining a cordial relationship.

 

[JFarm89]

Here's an update: This weekend hasn't been too bad, she appears to have calmed down. It looks like she has been occupied around my brother doing things. Going out and etc. So maybe it's part of being bored that makes her angry, as well as little things that annoy or hurt her. So she's all calm before the storm so they say.

Last argument so far that I heard from my room was that, she was vacuuming and a piece of the drywall slid down, and she was yelling to my brother, Get rid of this fucking drywall! It's been sitting here for blah blah blah. That happened a few days ago. So she does love to vent her anger a lot.

And what have I gotten myself into. When I heard that she is coming to Maui with my mom, my brother and I over the Christmas holidays. :S

 

[JFarm89]

Greetings fellow Jubber's it's been a while since I've lasted posted on here. But the time from the Hawaiian trip (in December/ January) to Monday (March 21st), was pretty pleasing that the bitch was being not too bad to me.

But yesterday just ticked me off, when I was making dinner for myself that I had really nothing in the fridge to eat. So I went downstairs to grab a box of Kraft Dinner from the Pantry, brought it upstairs and cooked some up. Well after when I had some, the bitch came home when I was on the computer. Came downstairs and bitched at me, "Jason! That's not your Kraft Dinner! You didn't pay for it!" My brother intervened and told her to relax. (I gave her a piece of my mind, threw up my middle finger) My brother was like, "hey that's enough." I told my brother before if a word comes out that I would like to move out, before I truly snap at her. I had enough of seeing her presence around me, even when I rarely see her. It's scary that all of this energy being built up is gonna blow up soon.

About a month ago I almost snapped at my boss at work. Just him bitching at me that I should know where I'm going without a map for 15 minutes. At the beginning of the shift he specifically told us of who needs a map drawn out. Which doesn't make any sense. Anyway it's the useless bitching is what pisses me off the most. I had the thought of lighting the building on fire, and taking the front end loader to pile the trucks into one big pile and lighting that pile on fire. I had to get away from my boss and eat lunch by myself, I was in tears with overwhelming anger. I called my mom that day. She helped me calm down thankfully. I wasn't thinking straight, and I'm not even on any drugs or narcotics.

So I told my mom that I want to look at some condos or houses. So we agreed to look for some on Sunday. Chances are I'll probably will be living by myself to do the things that I would like to do. Or a buddy that I can live comfortably with.

 

[Telstra]

Greetings fellow Jubber's it's been a while since I've lasted posted on here. But the time from the Hawaiian trip (in December/ January) to Monday (March 21st), was pretty pleasing that the bitch was being not too bad to me.

But yesterday just ticked me off, when I was making dinner for myself that I had really nothing in the fridge to eat. So I went downstairs to grab a box of Kraft Dinner from the Pantry, brought it upstairs and cooked some up. Well after when I had some, the bitch came home when I was on the computer. Came downstairs and bitched at me, "Jason! That's not your Kraft Dinner! You didn't pay for it!" My brother intervened and told her to relax. (I gave her a piece of my mind, threw up my middle finger) My brother was like, "hey that's enough." I told my brother before if a word comes out that I would like to move out, before I truly snap at her. I had enough of seeing her presence around me, even when I rarely see her. It's scary that all of this energy being built up is gonna blow up soon.

About a month ago I almost snapped at my boss at work. Just him bitching at me that I should know where I'm going without a map for 15 minutes. At the beginning of the shift he specifically told us of who needs a map drawn out. Which doesn't make any sense. Anyway it's the useless bitching is what pisses me off the most. I had the thought of lighting the building on fire, and taking the front end loader to pile the trucks into one big pile and lighting that pile on fire. I had to get away from my boss and eat lunch by myself, I was in tears with overwhelming anger. I called my mom that day. She helped me calm down thankfully. I wasn't thinking straight, and I'm not even on any drugs or narcotics.

So I told my mom that I want to look at some condos or houses. So we agreed to look for some on Sunday. Chances are I'll probably will be living by myself to do the things that I would like to do. Or a buddy that I can live comfortably with.

sounds like you are not very stable here.

 

[texan_slant]

With all due respect, you sound super stressed out with nobody to talk to. Then all of that bottled-up anger has been leading to pent-up resentment.

You are on the right track by moving out, cuz everyone needs their own space, however, if you continue to find yourself feeling anger inside, I'd also find a way to channel that energy into excercise, hobby, etc.

I'm not underestimating everything that's happening around you either! It's not fair that you have to deal with someone else's negativity, though on the other hand, you have to ensure that you can deal with it, in a healthy way, when need be.

 

[Seasoned]

Whether you move or not I'd do some things to attempt to improve the situation. You need to talk and work on a truce. You may be an uncle one day and she'll be able to control whether or not you get to spend time with them.

Why was is ok for you or your brother to ignore what was in the sink and a puddle in the fridge? Did your mom pick up after the two of you?

I know I'm taking a different tact here, but really. Is this tension worth the ego struggle of who washes containers? When was the last tine you said something kind to her or just surprised the household with some flowers on the table? And why isn't the fucking drywall project finished? I'm getting the sense that you boys feel entitled and she should be looking elsewhere for a husband.

Just little ole me reading between the lines. I hope I'm wrong.