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ranting...

kainalu

kainalu

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Tonight my ex visited. The only true boyfriend i ever had. three and a half years i was his. all his. I was so dedicated and loving. then hell broke loose. after literally leaving me in sesures dying and not talking to me for 3 months, i texted him to ask if he loved me ever and he said yes. after months of telling me no and leaving a black mark on my heart. after torturing me for so long, his angelic twink self is laying on my couch. and I can't seem to find someone else. ( I know, acting like this don't help). and yet, he loved me and even still finds me "cute" he said tonight. just "you look so cute". pffft.

he left me for a girl that didnt love him (they lasted a week) and destroyed me and now he is on my couch. WHY do I let him in? he doesnt love me. I can sense it. so why come? I need some tension relief. I need a boyfriend.

Im in tears now. I dont know why. it was a good day until i texted him...:help:

/end rant
 
hmmm not hard... i still love him i think... but its time to move on... i just dont know how right now. People our age in our corner of the world that want to be committed are rare. you are in va beach, you KNOW how hard it is. or is it?
 
in the middle of the night he crawled into my bed and slept with me. I of course, didnt. all night. he has no interest in me, he just likes to sleep there. we were all curled up and I was miserable. I honestly think that i cannot move on without having someone else to love. I miss him, but i really dont want him no more. I just miss what we had I think. Well off to work, tired and restless. I hope I don't have a seizure today. lack of sleep makes them more prominent. i guess only time will heal. it just sucks that i cant stop thinking about it.:-({|=
 
he left me for a girl that didnt love him (they lasted a week) and destroyed me and now he is on my couch. WHY do I let him in? he doesnt love me. I can sense it. so why come?
Click to expand...

Well it could be that you are behaving like the village idiot

If I had someone who kept me awake all night so that I had seizures, I might examine why my own sense of self worth is so low as to be a doormat for a fly-by.
 
If you're uncomfortable you should just tell him to leave. If he's being inconsiderate to your feelings you have every right to kick him out, and you should assert yourself and do it. Stand up for yourself.

I know it will be hard to move on, but sometimes you just have to roll with it. I think this is one of those times. I would suggest just taking some time out, hanging out with your friends (not this guy) and relaxing, don't worry about entering a relationship or anything. Just have fun. Another relationship will happen whenever the opportunity pops up, just don't go looking for it right away.
 
Cavoli riscaldati.

It's an Italian term. It means "reheated cabbage".

Imagine having boiled cabbage for a meal. And then, a week later, you try to reheat the leftover cabbage for dinner. Guess what? It'll stink to high heaven, it'll fall apart, and it'll taste awful. It may have been wonderful the first time, but it won't be the same the second.

Cavoli riscaldati.

Lex
 
I love you guys. and you are right. I AM a village idiot. I need to rethink this. boiled cabbage is no fun at all. but what if he wants to be my friend? i don't know if i can hold myself together. He has saved my life before. He is the reason i have seizures instead of a gravestone. I owe him it by some old rules. Do I reject his friendship or do I just try to cope? this is so hard...](*,)
 
I have friends. Friends I care extremely deeply for.

They don't come lay on my couch. :)

Lex
 
hmm... to tell the truth the way i grew up and where i grew up coming and laying in bed with me isnt so odd... sleeping on the couch never crossed my mind as strange.

do you really never have friends over that stay the night? is this so odd? i never thought about it that way.
 
I'm trying to think of the last time a friend "spent the night", or I spent the night there.

...coming up empty.

From what I hear, though, I'M the freak in that respect, though. That said, I don't have any "weird feelings" with my friends, either.

Lex
 
Don't get too hung up on "he saved my life". It's a great thing he did, but it shouldn't control the rest of your life. I'm sure he got a great deal of satisfaction over it, just like you did many things that you did for him.

The real question is if you can emotionally handle just being friends with someone that you have such strong feelings for? I've tried it a couple of times and it didn't work out. Of course you're not me, so maybe your outcome would be different.
 
G-Lexington said:
I'm trying to think of the last time a friend "spent the night", or I spent the night there.

...coming up empty.

From what I hear, though, I'M the freak in that respect, though. That said, I don't have any "weird feelings" with my friends, either.

Lex
Click to expand...


Wow, I get invited to sleep round all the time so that I can stay for a drink, I dont cos I cant, or its not practical, home situation and all. Last time I slept round someones place I slept in bed with them. Just a really close friend, but it made her boyfriend jealous.

Anyway, I agree with vetteboi, Its going to be hard to be just friends with someone you care for so much.
 
I also agree that while you might be thankful that someone may have played a role in saving your life at some point, we're beyond the days of it meaning that you are their slave. If he ever even intimates that you owe him, I'd have a seizure and die right there in front of him out of spite.

Frankly honey, he isn't a good friend. Good friends don't dump their boyfriends for a girl and then come back in a week. He sounds like an emotionally unstable or shallow child. It must be great for him knowing you're so smitten that you'll welcome him back no matter what. If he doesn't get some comeuppance, he's heading toward a lifetime of this type of abusive behaviour.

Kick his ass to the curb after you tell him that you have too much self respect to be used so badly. Tell him that you can continue to be friends, but only at a physical distance.

...and then get yourself a good night's sleep.
 
thank you guys, all your advice is good and i will take it. I think i can live without my ex hanging around too much. and i guess is really dont owe him anything. Maybe someday ill save him from a house fire or something and well be even. lol
 
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