Real threesome relationship

[oakpope]

Hello everyone,
it's a subject I wished to discuss with you for a few months, but didn't have the courage to take the time to write about it (if it belongs to another part of the forum, please moderators, feel free to move it to the appropriate one).

In substance : do you think it is possible to have a long lasting, balanced and fulfilling threesome relationship ? (whether it be mmf/mff/mmm or fff)

My best friend and his wife are the nearest persons in my life, they know me inside out and I know them very well. I am godfather to both, I was wedding witness to their marriage and I even slept beneath their bed during their honeymoon night (no sexual activity involved ). We often joke that we will retire in the same etablishment in our old age. We are extremely fond of each other, and I'm often astonished to see we form a very balanced triangle, apart from a sexual one. I'm gay, she is straight and he is mostly bi (well that's a bit more complex than that but it's near enough).

So it makes me wonder, do you know examples of real life long lasting, balanced threesome relationships between three people ? Do you feel one has to suffer in all cases ? Are humans wired to only be able to function by pair ? I don't mean threesome sexual relationships for a night or two, or a house boy for an established couple, but of real real relationship, worthy of marriage "à trois".

Thank you in advance for your kind input.

 

[fetaby]

It's rare to find a balanced duo much less trips...

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

I've never seen one in action before, and as strange as it sounds, if I found a completely out bi guy that wanted to be with a woman and a man and I was the man(and he was not hiding the fact that he was with either one of us), I'd try it out to see where it goes.

It's probably possible, sure. I don't know who'd be willing though.

 

[bw92116]

On one of the bear social sites, there is a group of 3 bears that has a profile, and from what I read of their profile it seems as if they are very happy together. I sent them an email asking if I could be Godilocks and they laughed.

 

[kallipolis]

What happens to this three way social relationship when children begin to arrive on the scene?

Are you sexually interested only in the so called bisexual male?

If your romantic focus is the bisexual male then there is a great risk that you will alienate the female.

The prospects for a happy, and cohesive three way long term partnership inclusive of sexual relations (ménage à trois) is poor, to non existent.

IMHO

 

[oakpope]

My example is not a good one because we are not really sexually interested in one another (yes, even the husband and wife, I said it, it's a bit complicated ). It's just that it made me wonder about the possibility.

Your point about the children, I'm not convinced. Does a step father or mother automatically love a child less ? Is the child automatically less happy if he has a step father/mother? Would the child be less mature if the step father/mother actually lives with his/her biological parents ? I'm not so sure, if things are explained clearly and with love and reassurance to a child, the child can accept a lot I think, even thrive in a balanced, strong, commited household, even a threesome one (imho,since I have no real, first hand experience to witness).

 

[frankfrank]

Of course the "WHEN" children enter into the relationship, doesn't necessarily apply. There are a lot of childless families, which can just as likely apply to a menage a trois.

I've known of at least one relationship which appeared to be functioning well, in Kansas, where my business had me buying some music from a guy who was living with two women, and at the time they had been together for seven or eight years. No children.

Such relationships are AN ACQUIRED TASTE and, to say the least, they're not appropriate for everybody. There is no inherent reason they cannot work, though, as long as all three people agree. But as the number of people increase beyond two, the possible causes of dis-harmony and other problems don't merely increase arithmetically (such as "doubling" because a menage a trois has TWO "other people" in it), but exponentially. The number of possible pitfalls in a loving relationship of four people may be HUNDREDS of times as many as a two-people relationship.

It can happen and it can work, yes, but it's VERY rare.

 

[kallipolis]

My example is not a good one because we are not really sexually interested in one another (yes, even the husband and wife, I said it, it's a bit complicated ). It's just that it made me wonder about the possibility.

Your point about the children, I'm not convinced. Does a step father or mother automatically love a child less ? Is the child automatically less happy if he has a step father/mother? Would the child be less mature if the step father/mother actually lives with his/her biological parents ? I'm not so sure, if things are explained clearly and with love and reassurance to a child, the child can accept a lot I think, even thrive in a balanced, strong, commited household, even a threesome one (imho,since I have no real, first hand experience to witness).

This post indicates an enormous disclosure of wishful thinking.

Human jealousies surface when sexual relationships begin to develop within a three way relationship involving one woman, one gay man and a so called bisexual man.

It is often the case that two of the three partners will couple more closely leaving the third partner feeling isolated even alienated.

There are much better prospects for a healthier relationship were you to focus on another gay male not already in relationship with another person.

IMHO

 

[treanir]

On one of the bear social sites, there is a group of 3 bears that has a profile, and from what I read of their profile it seems as if they are very happy together. I sent them an email asking if I could be Godilocks and they laughed.

I've met those guys. They're wonderful. And indeed, an example of what seems to be a working polyamorous relationship. I know of one other - a friend of mine just got into one.

Also, there are these two guys in the UK. They're married. I feel very strongly (don't know if it's love) for both, and they for me. And yes, we've discussed me joining their household, if not soon, then somewhere down the line.

So could a polyamorous relationship work? Definitely. I believe it will be much more difficult than your -already quite hard- 'regular' relationship. But yes, I would say it is possible if the love is strong enough.