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Realionship troubles... Feel like being Used

T

THORIS

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Some things about me

I am 26/26 years old which is still in school for Criminal Justice. Since Age 16 i have only been single for 3 months. After i broke up with my ex of 4 1/2 years i jumped into a new relationship 2 weeks later. We moved in together 1 month after dating.



Well i am having abit of a problem with my relationship. We have been together for 1.8 years, Everything was great until we both lost our jobs ( i was fired my partner Quit). I feel like i am being used; I always pay for everything Ie.. Dinner, Lunch, Breakfast, movies, clubs ect. I really feel like a sugar daddy...

Our sex life in nonexistence I would rather jack off to porn then have sex with him.. I always fantasy about having sex with other people when we have sex. I am not happy i Just dont know if we should bother to fix things or should we part ways.


All of my Friends tell me to leave him and stay single for at-least a year so i can find myself and take time to care for myself 1st before anyone else.

Its very complicated we moved into a apartment 6 months ago with his aunt and uncle. if i left they would not be able to afford the apartment and would get evicted. I cant have that on my councuious.. I would rather me be miserable then to make people live on the street.

Any advice would great..
 
Dude, You are a very nice guy tho. I am just like U but you have to understand that you need to tell ur boyfriend how U feel about him,relationship. Give him a chance tho. I dunno about the sexual thing tho. Ask him if He K if U can have sex with someone or just don't have sex with him for a month to see if you miss him or want to be with him again. But talk to him first to see what he wants. I dunno but its hard for me to do this.
 
It's pretty clear that you should break up with him and move out. Get out while you still can.

As for the the apartment situation for the aunt and uncle, they're adults I think they can take care of themselves. It's not your place to worry.
 
Either have a talk and dicuss the issues and work together to make it work or end the situation amd move on and take a break if that is what you feel is best for you.

You have to look out for #1(you) before you look for #2 b/f..
 
sometimes just talking about your problems helps put them in perspective. sometimes you don't want a simple answer or a quick fix. if your friends are telling you something, then i think its ok to not feel bad about what might happen.
 
hotb0d said:
It's pretty clear that you should break up with him and move out. Get out while you still can.

As for the the apartment situation for the aunt and uncle, they're adults I think they can take care of themselves. It's not your place to worry.
Click to expand...

As harsh as it sounds .. that's probably the best way to go. It is very nice of you that you'd rather leave yourself behind instead of making it hard for them. But I agree with your friend - you need a timeout. Maybe give them a two months warning or so that they have time to look for something else. But do break up, do move out!
 
It sounds like a downward spiral into despair.

An emotional Grapes of Wrath as it were.

You all need to sort yourselves out. I appreciate that times are hard, but what you are describing is co-dependence.

Move out. Get a job or go back to school.

The ex should do the same.

The aunt and uncle should as well, or at the very least, they can look for someone else to cover the rent.
 
THORIS said:
All of my Friends tell me to leave him and stay single for at-least a year so i can find myself and take time to care for myself 1st before anyone else.
Click to expand...

Your friends gave you good advice.

Follow it.
 
I am going to end it, But its weird at times things are great but other times its living hell. I never cheated on anyone but everyday i look at other guys thinking of cheating. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

My friends which are in there 50s said i can live with them for free. Which of course i would pay something..

I don't know where to begin on our stuff.. We bought furniture which we still owe money on.

I think i am more nervous on being alone then the break up itself.

My partner also reads my email and text messages on my cell, He just questioned why i joined Match.com... I joined to find more friends. I dont know if our friends now will take whos side when we break up..

On a side note. I found out he lied about his money arrangements He said he had enough money ( Wont work he livies on Student Loans) to pay next montsh rent but after that i woould need to help him pay for rent..

Well i found out he just got alot of money from loans and other deposits.. ( he received 4k deposit) Which he neglected to tell me. ( i have been paying for everything as of late)

Thanks for the advice..
 
I would recommend that you return to school to upgrade your skills in order to improve your opportunity for independence.

It sounds like your whole life could use re-tuning.
 
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