Really confused with my sexuality

[mj2006a]

You're bi, and be sure to tell that to the woman you love and intend to marry. She'll need to know.

Totally Agree.... tell to the woman you intend to marry about the fact that you do feel men are also attractive. If you do not intend to work on the marriage and make it a true commitment...you should avoid marrying and eventually having kids. It is a tough call being married and fucking guys on the side. A lot of things are on the table.

 

[Little Beaver]

It has been a real eye opener, reading all these posts from bisexual men. There use to be a time when most gay people thought there was no in between. You were ether straight or gay, and men who considered themselves bi were thought tobe in daniel. I never did buy into that. I new I was gay from highschool days. When I was drafted into the army I visited female prostitutes as an outlet for intimacy, but it was the guys in the barracks I thought about. I never have considered myself bi. Being bi sure can complicate things in relationships, I guess. Being a married bi allows you to fit in to a more acceptable life style. CONRAD- I will bet your experience is far more common in highschools all across the country than we will ever know. Its wonderful you and your friend accepted your feelings for each other. I did not mean to get to far off subject, but a few things I wanted to say. If tally is still there, I wish he would respond.

 

[ooosunny]

Hey...i just read your post and your situation is similar to mine.

I think as a kid I was always slightly curious about guys..taking peeks in the urinal/showers etc. I dont know if I was truly attracted to them or just wanting close male companionship or what. I grew up with a work-a-holic dad, so I dont know if the curiosity was just a need for a male or what.

I'm happily married (15 yrs) now with 2 kids. I would never want to be "gay". In fact I dont really agree with the lifestyle (sorry, just being honest). I believe to each his own, but I can't stand sissy gay guys. My wife & I are happy and she has no idea that I sometimes fantasize about naked muscular dudes, nor would she ever understand it. I feel like such an ass for my mental betrayal.

That being said I only attracted to hot muscular guys and never to friends. I travel a lot and sometimes cant wait to hook up with a guy in...an anonymous way...in a sauna/spa.steam room. There is always someone willing to play a bit..but I could never think of taking it any further or making it more personal. The guilt is tremendous after I do something but I'm usually too weak to not...what a wimp huh?

Im in really good shape and I really like to be wanted by a guy and have them blow me or jack me off. I also love to jack a guy off and make him cum but never anything further....if that makes sense. When I go to the spa's the gay guys are always after me and I love it. I feel so self centered thinking that way tho...

Well...I've never talked to anyone about this..so sorry if i have bored u. I just read this post and I felt the need to share. Message me back if u'd like.

 

[DVM26uk]

I'm happily married (15 yrs) now with 2 kids. I would never want to be "gay". In fact I dont really agree with the lifestyle (sorry, just being honest).

*sigh* People in glass houses ... the fact that you're supposedly 'happily' married and yet you can't wait to get blown off in some sleazy sauna by a complete stranger, isn't a lifestyle I agree with. (sorry, just being honest)

 

[ooosunny]

I guess that did not come out right. I did not vote (not that it's public info) yes on 8 (Jasun) and I did not meant to offend. I meant that the lifestyle was not for me....It's more of a curiosity/bi thing and it offended you the way I worded it, I apologize. Not meant to offend..only sharing something...for the first time

 

[nbzoot]

don't take the advice of a person with Ann Coulter in their avatar.

Ever.

porn sites are not reality.

Did you actually READ my post, or were you too busy jerking off to my avatar? (BTW, I blocked yours--all that effing blinking and flashing was giving me a migraine).

Just as with anything in life, there's plenty of reality to glean from porn. Seeing a model make the progression from quietly masturbating in an empty room to slobbering and moaning all over other guys gives a pretty accurate picture of how strong homosexual inhibitions are, AND that they can be overcome (granted, with some cash, and a lot of lube, but overcome nonetheless).

 

[nbzoot]

Then following your logic I can learn how to fly if I watch enough episodes of Smallville.

Oh, how I wish you would.

 

[nbzoot]

To be fair, your base point is that discovering sexuality isn't like taking your temperature. There's lots of factors and as we grow, our sexual tastes change. I'll always like men but the kinds of men I'm into can change.

Well, no, not really, though I do appreciate your rereading/thinking about my initial post. My point was that some of us, in the process of coming out/discovering our sexuality, have a harder time circumventing our inhibitions against gayness, and what is often the LAST one to go is the taboo of male affection, i.e., "man love." You can suck and be sucked, fuck and be fucked, but the minute it becomes "romantic," you're no longer a man. Sex is sex, but the kissy stuff="sissy-boy"=WRONG.

But what happens on porn sites shouldn't be taken as indicative of real life.. you may see a guy go from a solo to bottoming over the course of 5 months but those scenes were usually all shot the same weekend.

Indeed (and those are usually the most obvious and WORST, btw), but what I'm thinking about are the guys who are GENUINELY uncomfortable with their sexuality, who do gradually warm up to their own freakiness. Example: a few years back, there was a Sean Cody model named Luke. He was so uncomfortable in his first vid, Sean had to go out of the room, set up a still camera to record the pop shot. A few vids later, and Sean is giving Luke a massage. Luke rolls over, and is hard as a rock. Stays that way the rest of the video. He is clearly into what Sean is doing, so much so that he lets Sean kiss him, and he kisses back. A LOT. It's one of the most erotic vids I own. (and if it were fake, well, they did a pretty DAMN good job of faking it)

Another, far disparate example is Chris Rockway. The boy is clearly hetero. I can't even imagine the fistfuls of Viagra the boy has to take to perform. But I saw him take it up the ass on film LONG before I saw him kiss another guy.

 

[fahrenheit]

This is a very interesting thread. I was recently reading an article on anthropology and biology. It discussed the presence of multiple genders in society and in the animal kingdom. It was a very interesting read.

I am gay. I don't find anything about a woman remotely attractive. I don't have any female freinds either. I have nothing in common with them. So why bother with all the bitchiness and drama and all that crap. I went through my hag period like all good little queers. Then I grew up and realized I didn't even like women at all.

So from my prospective I cannot understand the OP's situation.

 

[fahrenheit]

The second point I wanted to make is this. You cannot glean any useful information or draw any reasonable corollary about the complexity of human sexuality from "straight" male performers in gay porn. That is a separate issue entirely.

 

[petros0]

First able I have to thank this forum for the useful threads I have read here and congratulation for the really geniuses members,
Quick read for this thread as much as my English helps,
I think the guy should start discover his sexuality by himself having sex with a girl also with a man
There were he can getting hard looking to her/his body and face and cum with no imagination, then he will know what he looking for and may he need to try it few time until everything be clear

 

[petros0]

bobyboby1
have you ever thought about sleep next to him or hug him?
do you felt any feeling when you touch any part of his body while you playing a game or whatever?
if your answer was not, that is mean you missing a good time with a friend and not sexual

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

It doesn't sound too out there for you to have a gay fetish.

There's no such thing as a gay fetish. You're misusing the term "fetish." "Curious" would be a more reasonable statement.

 

[titi75]

On the other hand... although I've never experienced it, I've always been extremely turned on by gay sex. I remember being 13-14 and fantasizing/masturbating to thoughts of fucking and being fucked by guys. I'm very turned on by gay porn, and I'd say that about 50% of the time I masturbate, it's to gay porn or gay fantasies. The thing is, it's only the sex part of it. I very rarely look at a guy and think "I'd love to do him", and I'm honestly grossed out by the idea of kissing a a guy, as weird as that sounds, but I'd love to fuck one or give a blowjob. I like to browse craigslist or other gay personals, and jerk off to the pictures and text, fantasizing about sex with that person. I think my biggest fantasy is joining a gay couple for a threesome. I'm also really into the idea of pleasuring an older guy, especially letting him fuck me... it's just a really big fantasy for me, and has been since I was a kid even.

P

it sounds like you re not self confident about our virility/manliness, so you fantasize about joining gay men ( so they can show you like a little boy who wants to be educated) or being taught by a older ( manish) guy, maybe there is sthg in ur childhood that didn't fully develop ur trust in u becoming a man, thats why u want to have gay sex because there is nothing as manish as two men having sex ( do i make myself clear,? im french)..so ure bi in a way to fullfill ure man identity according to me.

 

[snowgrouse]

For what it's worth, I know several lesbians who get off on gay porn, so go figure. I'm not saying it can't be a fetish, but from reading your post, I'm reminded of myself as a teenager--in my straight wank fantasies, I often tended to focus on the person of the same sex, but it took me a while to admit that I was bisexual. And admitting to bisexuality can sometimes be more difficult than saying you're straight or gay, because people *still* expect you to be one or the other. (Don't get me started on the hypocrisy of all the "str8" porn out there.) If you fancy both men and women, if you wank to them, you are bi. Your orientation doesn't really have *that* much to do with gender roles, because that's something biological, and the rest is all society. It's backwards and sexist to think all women want marriage and kids and are out there just for relationships (or that they're all evil bitchy harpies, Jesus), or that all guys just want quick flings and uncomplicated sex and hate relationships. Many, hell, most people love to live up to these gender/orientation stereotypes, but it doesn't mean the stereotypes are healthy. The most interesting people are the ones who are just themselves and don't try to force themselves into being something they're not.

So, yes, I think you might just be bi. Even if that's a limiting category in itself--in the end, your sexuality (orientation, relationships, likes and dislikes, kinks, squicks) is unique and as long as you're true to yourself, you're doing fine.

 

[Caaake]

Don't worry about labels... your just attracted to what your attracted to and thats it period. it could be a fetish, or could mean your bi, but who cares? Enjoy it!
I find that in life people are attracted to all types of characteristics, people, and a lot of the times that includes both genders, but people label themselves accordingly what gender they would want to date (often times), others label themselves accordingly to which gender their attracted to, I think we all interpret sexuality differently and labels for that matter. So if you think its hot, good, cool.. don't analyse what that might mean. Just go out there and experience!