Hey,
Just thought I'd share my story, as I used to be in a similar situation. I'll try to be brief but if you're interested in hearing more just message me!
When I was 16 I met someone who was 43. He was my first. Like you I considered myself very mature, and had more in common with an older man. We got along great, had amazing sex, and had a lot of fun together. I finished high school, moved in with him and started University. I lived with him for my first 4 years of University until I was 22. It was only between the years of 20-22 that we started to have problems. He had much more life experience than me, and he really did play a huge parental role. Not wanting me to make the same mistakes he did, became very controlling, and would become very frustrated if I didn't "clue in" to things that were so obvious to him -- I just hadn't experienced them yet.
The biggest problems came socially. I was scared to be "out" about our relationship due to the 27 year age gap. I didn't want anyone to know, and he felt like a secret. So I finally tried integrating him with my friends a few times, but it didn't work. They felt awkward, and it was more like a "dad" was in the room supervising. He couldn't relate to my friends, and it became awkward. Being in University I wanted to party, go out, have fun, meet new people, etc. he had already done all that, and so I left him at home quite a bit and this made him very sad that he wasn't being apart of my life. But an early 40s man (now getting closer to 50 at this point) wouldn't really fit into the dorm-room residence party scene with a bunch of university students.
Finally, only a few years ago, we parted ways. I think we began to resent eachother because our life stages were so different at this point. I wanted to be out with friends, travelling, gaining new experiences and he didn't as he already did most of that. I'm not saying your situation will go like this or that everyone's does, but mine did. The age gap was too big for me.
Anyway, I'm 24 now and dating someone who is 32 - it's a MUCH better gap of only 8 years. We relate so much better, he doesn't miss a single gathering with my friends and I, and they love him. I'll finally be starting my career next year and he's already established in his and there are still so many first experiences we get to share together.
Just thought I'd share my story, as I used to be in a similar situation. I'll try to be brief but if you're interested in hearing more just message me!
When I was 16 I met someone who was 43. He was my first. Like you I considered myself very mature, and had more in common with an older man. We got along great, had amazing sex, and had a lot of fun together. I finished high school, moved in with him and started University. I lived with him for my first 4 years of University until I was 22. It was only between the years of 20-22 that we started to have problems. He had much more life experience than me, and he really did play a huge parental role. Not wanting me to make the same mistakes he did, became very controlling, and would become very frustrated if I didn't "clue in" to things that were so obvious to him -- I just hadn't experienced them yet.
The biggest problems came socially. I was scared to be "out" about our relationship due to the 27 year age gap. I didn't want anyone to know, and he felt like a secret. So I finally tried integrating him with my friends a few times, but it didn't work. They felt awkward, and it was more like a "dad" was in the room supervising. He couldn't relate to my friends, and it became awkward. Being in University I wanted to party, go out, have fun, meet new people, etc. he had already done all that, and so I left him at home quite a bit and this made him very sad that he wasn't being apart of my life. But an early 40s man (now getting closer to 50 at this point) wouldn't really fit into the dorm-room residence party scene with a bunch of university students.
Finally, only a few years ago, we parted ways. I think we began to resent eachother because our life stages were so different at this point. I wanted to be out with friends, travelling, gaining new experiences and he didn't as he already did most of that. I'm not saying your situation will go like this or that everyone's does, but mine did. The age gap was too big for me.
Anyway, I'm 24 now and dating someone who is 32 - it's a MUCH better gap of only 8 years. We relate so much better, he doesn't miss a single gathering with my friends and I, and they love him. I'll finally be starting my career next year and he's already established in his and there are still so many first experiences we get to share together.
