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Really nice guy in my class. New friend?

Bi_Stud

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So my first week of University has ended... WOW. SCARY. I have my work cut out for me.

Now moving on to the reason of this post. I have a crush on one of the guys in my classes. I know this sounds stupid....because I have only seen him a couple times... but wow. I have had crushes before.. but this one is a little different for some reason. I honestly can't get him out of my mind, and this has never happened to me with a crush before.

I guess I'll start with when we first met. It was a lecture, and I was way early.. so there were like.. 10 people in a lecture that seats hundreds. He walks in, this cute guy... and out of ALL the seats that were empty.. he sits RIGHT NEXT TO ME. This caught me off since usually people sit far apart and slowly the room fills. But this guy went right next to me and sat down. I am kinda shy around guys that I think are cute.. so naturally I was like "Holy shit!" in my head. Finally.. he starts conversation. He is SO friendly, and really a nice guy. About an hour into the lecture the proff still isn't there... so people are starting to leave. I am having a great time talking to him so I am SO not going anywhere.

"You have anywhere to go? I didn't come all the way here to just leave so soon." He says looking at me. I say "No, I guess we can just sit and relax here." So we continue to talk.. and I find out we do have stuff in common. We laughed, talked, etc. Finally we just got up and left. He asked where I was heading... and I told him..in which he said "Me too. I guess I'll walk you there if you don't mind?" So as we head there I find out he actually always goes to a place a family member of mines owns. We both kinda laugh at this, and after I go to where I need to go.. he says he is heading to the library, and with the way he said it, it seemed like he was inviting me there. I honestly got WAYY shy and said "Thanks, but I gotta head off somewhere today." I know.. stupid of me. But I got shy. He said "Well it was nice meeting you, and I'll see you next class" Followed by a hand shake. The next day I saw him at the book store..not sure if he saw me.. but I got WAYYYY too shy and sorta walked inbetween the book shelves. I know.. stupid of me.. again.


Now... Im going to be honest. I find this guy VERY cute, nice, friendly, and an all-round good guy so far. Now here comes the disclaimer...a few times during conversation he on occaision said "Thats gay!" or "I know, its so gay!" which kinda turned me off. He also at one point in a very boring tone of voice said "Some hot girls at this school" which only just dissapointed me more..not gonna lie.

So basically, right now Im at the point where I really just want to be friends with this guy. He seems really nice, and it would be good for me to have some new friends at University. Hopefully this isn't the end, and we can be good friends. I just hope Im not sombody he was just being friendly with because Im just simply there.

So yeah, I wasn't going to post this.. but he just seems like a cool friendly guy and I just HAD to get this out. What you think, guys? Should I become good friends with him if it happens...then let him know Im gay? Sorry about the long post.

ps: If it turns out he's straight (which It looks like he is :( ) I won't try to turn him or anything. Sheesh haha. I just hope its not one of those things were we become friends.. I let him know Im gay..then he wants nothing to do with me.

How do I handle this?!oops!
 
Enjoy His company! Become a "Friend"! And, things just might go the way YOU would like them to! Then again ... maybe not. #-o

But, the UPside to that is ... You've made a New Friend!! (!w!)

However that may turn out, it won't be a "Bad Thing" at all! ..|

(Just keep in mind ... those "feelings" are coming from YOU! He may, or may not, be "leading" You in "That" direction. But, in any case, open Yourself to the possibility of acquiring a new "Good Buddy"! It's obvious, that on some level, He already Likes YOU!) (group)

Of course, no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*) (And try to put your "shyness" aside.)
Chaz ;)
 
Being a new student at the university, you need to make some friends, even if they are straight. It looks like you have just made one. So when you see him again, don't avoid him and walk "in between the book shelves." You have a whole semester to find the answers to the questions you have asked.
 
Thanks guys! I am definitely not going to be shy, I don't want to pass up on an opportunity to make a good friend. I think it was just nerves that usually come up when Im meeting someone new.

I guess I'll keep you guys posted in this thread?

I could sure use some more words of encouragement, questions, advice, comments, and whatever. :)
 
I can't stop thinking about him! This hasn't happened to me before with a crush. I can't wait to seem him next class! Wish me luck guys! Thanks. :P
 
What a nice thing to happen!

It'll be cool if you guys become friends.
Definitely keep us updated on what happens! :D
 
Hmm, I can say it's pretty usual actually, to have a crush on someone you've barely known, or only just met. I had kinda the same feelings for someone bout couple of months back when I just got into my uni too. But the fact that he sat right next to you in your L.T. is something that baffles me, haha.


Anyway, if I were you, I wouldn't give it too much talk, maybe he's just the social type that prefers someone's company, that's why he chose to sit beside someone. But anyhow, just be friends with him, you WILL need friends anyway...... whether he'll still be friends with you after you come out is a whole different story. For now, appreciate him as a friend.
 
Thanks for the words! :) Right now Im definitely not going to do anything stupid.. haha. :P

This guy is definitely someone I could see myself being good friends with, the fact that he was very friendly and nice really put him over. I just needed SOMEWHERE to say this, and I'll control my feelings.
 
He could be straight. Or he could be trying to get you to confront him with, "Hey, I'm gay, please don't use phrases like that" in which case he'll reveal his gayness.

OK, maybe only in fairy tales. (Did I just say that?)

Regardless of whether he's straight or not, how could you let him get away with saying things like that? Stand up for yourself, for god's sake. Even if you don't reveal that you're gay, at least tell him you're offended by his use of 'gay' that way.
 
He could be straight. Or he could be trying to get you to confront him with, "Hey, I'm gay, please don't use phrases like that" in which case he'll reveal his gayness.

OK, maybe only in fairy tales. (Did I just say that?)

Regardless of whether he's straight or not, how could you let him get away with saying things like that? Stand up for yourself, for god's sake. Even if you don't reveal that you're gay, at least tell him you're offended by his use of 'gay' that way.

I definitely wanted to say something about his use of the word "gay", but I kinda let it slide THAT time only because I didn't want to have a confrontation like that with somebody I am just meeting and could possibly be friends with. I know people who love gays and accidentally let the word slip out like that and they feel incredibly stupid afterword.

I am very proud of being gay, and would NEVER want to be anything other than gay. I love it. So next time he uses it like that (hopefully he doesn't) I will definitely let him know I don't like when people say that.

UPDATE:

I ran into him today! We were buying supplies and he happened to be in the same place as me. We both seemed to be happy to see eachother, and he actually told me to go look for my stuff and he will gladly save a spot for me in line. He introduced me to somebody he was with, and reffered to me as his friend. That felt good. :) We talked the entire lineup and eventually we both left and said bye.

I know.. no THAT big of a deal.. but you know us gays and our crushes. He's a really nice guy and I definitely see a friendship happening especially after today.

My gaydar got NOTHING. So looks like this one is straight. I hope Im wrong, but hey.. a friend is a friend.(*k*)

I'll keep you posted!
 
thats so cute :)
good luck! I hope your gaydar is messed up too. hehe
 
You are getting some good pointers. Friendships are life's best gifts to us and not all of them have a sexual component---not all of them end with two people in bed together. But, such friendships can be genuine and deep and may last for a lifetime. Keep that in mind.

My own experience has been that there is a certain something that operates in this area that somehow makes it possible for two people to connect as being compatible; and, even though getting that person as a sexual partner may not be in one's mind, it is a apparently a host of little things that leads two persons to continue to seek each other out.

There then may come the day when one realizes that one has truly become a friend and that the friendship is more than reciprocated. The best way I know to say this is to say that friends often become more than friends; to themselves they may even admit that they do love the other party. That's the time one often has to acknowledge the tie between the friendship and the signals one's very own body is giving that something is developing. There then is no need for one of them to seduce the other. Somehow, in the right setting (and sometimes in settings that may be far from ideal) the sex happens and it seems so natural and so right.

There is that wonderful word "serendipity" which is the gift of being open to the surprises and boons that come one's way when one least expects them. My own journey into the fullness of my sexuality has been a very happy one and it wasn't due to my planning that I can say this. Friendship is the gift that one receives and for that one has to be open to it; but friendship is the gift that one also gives and one has to dare to take that step also.
 
You are getting some good pointers. Friendships are life's best gifts to us and not all of them have a sexual component---not all of them end with two people in bed together. But, such friendships can be genuine and deep and may last for a lifetime. Keep that in mind.

My own experience has been that there is a certain something that operates in this area that somehow makes it possible for two people to connect as being compatible; and, even though getting that person as a sexual partner may not be in one's mind, it is a apparently a host of little things that leads two persons to continue to seek each other out.

There then may come the day when one realizes that one has truly become a friend and that the friendship is more than reciprocated. The best way I know to say this is to say that friends often become more than friends; to themselves they may even admit that they do love the other party. That's the time one often has to acknowledge the tie between the friendship and the signals one's very own body is giving that something is developing. There then is no need for one of them to seduce the other. Somehow, in the right setting (and sometimes in settings that may be far from ideal) the sex happens and it seems so natural and so right.

There is that wonderful word "serendipity" which is the gift of being open to the surprises and boons that come one's way when one least expects them. My own journey into the fullness of my sexuality has been a very happy one and it wasn't due to my planning that I can say this. Friendship is the gift that one receives and for that one has to be open to it; but friendship is the gift that one also gives and one has to dare to take that step also.

I really could not have said it better myself. I mean I can't talk since I'm in a similar dilema, but just stick it out and who knows what could happen. A friendship could indeed develop, and if it does, then great, thats one person who can help ya out and be there for ya. If it goes further than that, then I must say that "I'm not worthy!" I really hope things work out for you. Like I said, I'm in a similar problem, so its nice to know that someone out there is currently going through this. Keep us informed
 
UPDATE! Ready gays?

So its been a little bit since I last posted, and things are going great for far. I REALLY like this guy... and it turns out we have even MORE in common!

I see this possibly turning into a real friendship at the very least.

So today's lecture, I walk in and sit down. Some random guy asks me something about the course..I get out of my seat to temporarily sit beside him.. and in comes THE guy. And THE guy seems kinda mad or put off that Im sitting with this other guy... (jealous? Nah... I wish) so he passes me and sits in the row behind me. I go back to my seat and he stops me to say hi. I say hi, and invite him over next to me. He moves beside me, and we begin chatting throughout the whole lecture. Just making conversation.. nothing major really.

Then we randomly start talking about gay guys, and I told him about the kinds of people I like to hang out with.. and he really enjoyed the conversation. He actually told me that he wants to meet one of my gay buddies. So I guess he at least isn't a homophobe?

Then class ends, and he offers to walk me to where I need to go, we talk..and eventually find out we are both really into wrestling. wow...what more can I ask for in this guy?

I feel kinda bad because he missed his stop (he was supposed to go to the subway) and I feel a little to blame since we were talking, but how was I supposed to know? Anyway, we said bye and gave a hand shake. He's a really nice guy.


I know none of this seems "OMG SO JUICY!" but you know how you have a crush on someone and every minute you spend with them you can't help but enjoy it? Thats what I feel like. I can't wait to see him again!
 
That's great! Seems like one of those 'connections' people make with other people, where talking and being around each other is just easy. The outcome doesn't necessarily have to be a relationship, but whatever happens I'm glad for ya! Straight or gay he sounds like a really nice guy to know. :)
 
I feel so warm and fuzzy when a thread like this pops up. :3

Hey, a friend is a friend, and if you get a good start like this, then even better! Have fun at university. :)
 
Thats why I always make an effort to say hi and get his attention if I see him! :)

I can't wait until next week, hopefully we see eachother more than just the one day we did this week.
 
I think you might be past the handshake phase. Try a hug next time. Make it butch, though. Don't just grab him and hold on for dear life. THAT would scare him off. But definitely find some subtle ways to show him you appreciate his friendship. This sounds awesome! Good for you!!
 
Oh.. I really don't know about the hug thing haha. It has potential to be akward even if I do it butch.... I will see though. I don't wanna screw it up! Who knows how he'd react.
 
Thanks for the heads up! I'll be checking it out!

Thing is though....I don't think he is gay. I am almost 100% sure he's straight.... I think the only reason why I think he might not be is simply because I WANT him to be gay. And if he isn't... he just isn't.

I really hope we become good friends though. Thats the main thing I want at this point.
 
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