Really not excited about being gay

[voyager1994]

NO. I hate being born this way. Don't take me wrong, I don't hate my parents, I don't hate my family, I don't hate myself. Sometimes I express my frustration to God. Why? Sometimes I wish that I deserved better in the next life. But this is what I am. Why? Maybe because I'm part of a grand scheme of things and this is my role. I really don't know. Life is not perfect anyway. It's a journey. And this is my journey. I have to accept it. As a matter of fact, I'm generally a good person because I am what I am. I am a strong person, spiritually and emotionally. I still thank God for all the opportunities that come my way. I wish things were different. But I know deep inside that I have the inner strength that being what I am has continued to nurture. I feel happy and sad as everybody does. I feel contented and frustrated as everybody does. I lie and pretend as everybody does. Life is mysterious, that's what makes it beautiful. Just be and do whatever gives you fullfilment and contentment in life. Just strive to be happy.

 

[Danugh]

Id much rather be a girl that way i could have sex with hot straight guys and lose my virginity.

Seduction takes alot of work and after the sex they tend to not want a relationship. If i was a girl though i could get pregnant and trap them into marriage lol j/k. But girls do have it easier than gay men.

 

[Christopher123]

You know what...... we've only got one shot at this. Life, I mean. I learned I DON'T wanna spend what life I have left being miserable. I refuse to do it. I've spent enough years being miserable (most of my childhood is GONE, wasted on petty bullshit) and I'm not wasting any more.

It's easy to be disappointed in yourself. REAL fucking easy. It's easy to just throw in the towel. What takes strength and courage is lifting your head up and saying, goddammit, I'm NOT fucking worthless and I'm NOT a nobody and I'm NOT gonna spend my life wallowing in my own depression because I didn't turn out the way I was supposed to or the way that others want me to be.

SCREW what others want you to be. Are you living for them or for yourself?

Look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you for who you are - not for what others think I should be."

I'm sorry, I don't mean to get on a soapbox, but dammit, accept yourself and give a shit about yourself. Because if you don't have that, you don't have nothin. And believe me, I've been there.

No, we're not perfect. Who is? But we're human beings and we MATTER. And in order to matter to others, you gotta matter to yourself first.

And there's my soapboxyness for the night.

 

[cocktales]

Wow!

A most excellent thread we have here........reminds me of the old days! lol

Leandro, some great thoughts there ^^^^!!!

NO, I know for certain most of us did NOT relish the thought of being gay; but we are Blance, we are!

So, check that block off and proceed to next question.......!!! lol

Being older gay men, we are some what limited in the scope of men who are attracted to us..........yep, it's true!

So, unless you want to play the games that younger gay men "tend" to play, I think you should find gay men in your town, city or where-ever you live and start some gay relationships from there.......yep, you may want to date some of them, and NOT others; but at least you can get together with men of similiar interests....

Don't whine, be proactive!

I know for sure that some/many of you are from small towns where if they find out that you're Gay, you will find graffitti written on your auto or house to get out of Dodge for who you are! My reasoning here is, when you can, go to a larger, nearby city and seek out clubs/bars or whatever where Gay men exist........!! It's NOT hard to find places.......all you need to do is just ask a cab driver where the local gay bars are (hey, don't be afraid, for they don't know you nor you know him, so be bold).......then, go there and ask questions about where to find the men!!

**I don't mean you have to seek sex in a dirty bathroom or some video store (although I've done it before)but ask the patrons or bar tenders of said bars/clubs where the men are.......they will tell you!!

.........and come out of that closet.........NOW! It takes some balls; but when you finally get over the names you're called, etc, you will become happier knowing that you don't have to hide who you are anymore!!!!

Gay older men, you have to stop taking those strong medications that tend to make you a docile, walking zombie and make your gay life better!

I know, you might say, well he's got a partner of 27 years and he doesn't know what he's talking about!

Au contraire', once I was one of you and I've lived through the gay man's thoughts of NO self-worth!

You MUST try and find other gay men of similiar interests, etc.......and since we have this wonderful internet, get online and have fun trying to find people of common interests and similiar ages or whatever!

Sorry, I did NOT mean to contribute so much and bore you guys; but dammit, I care and I want ALL of you to be happier people (like me and my partner) and live lives of wanting to contribute to society as gay men....

 

[jamie_01930]

It helps knowing that there are others out there like yourself that feels like you do..
thanks for sharing.