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Recently came out and no one believes me lol..

E

esmith

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I've known i was gay since i was 10. i was convinced it was a phase and eventually the right girl would change me.. well the girl i was with completely fell in love with me and i was right she changed me. made me realize i cant do that to her or to my self so i came out to her first, then my family, and close friends.. the problem is no one believes me..

should i just let it be and go with the flow now? I don't plan on going out of my way to prove I'm gay, and is that better..

i am the type not to take anything personal so i still joke around with my friends when they make gay remarks or say something funny about the subject is that good or bad?
 
I had similar experience when I did that. A lot of my friends didn't believe it at first but when they start talking to me about relationships, I wouldn't get their tastes of girls and I remind them/fix them when they mentioned "gf", I'd say sorry it's "bf" lol. Often I would get questions like are you sure? Or how do you know? Etc. Lol. After a while they stopped asking though and eventually believe me. I think it's up to you though. It's till weird that to these day a lot of str8 people still didn't believe normal/ everyday gay people exist.
 
they'll believe you when you bring a dude home for a family party.

I'd just let it slide for now tho...they'll eventually get it. Count your blessings...a lot of guys get grief. You got off easy. :lol:

I think it's ok to have a sense of humor when someone makes a gay joke, as well to blow off a somewhat ignorant off the cuff remark that a friend makes...as long as you know they don't mean to really put you down. But, if their intention is to demean you...hit 'em with your purse. :jasun:

I have told my nephew that I don't appreciate it when he says "that's gay" tho. whatever works for you...
 
I've run into this a few times in my life. I've never been particularly closeted but I'm not a rainbow flag waver either. A lot of people even now ignore that fact I'm gay. I get a lot of...."yeah rights".....even though I never have been married or have a girlfriend. I don't have kids and I do not associate with women on anything but a very minimal level. My family knows. My mother barely tolerates it and always preaches at me. This is after years of not having any contact with her at all. I have no contact with two of my four sisters or their families. My next sister is preachy too, but at least she talks to me. The other one is a black sheep like me. She's the family tramp. I only have contact with the latter sister's kids.
 
esmith said:
I've known i was gay since i was 10. i was convinced it was a phase and eventually the right girl would change me.. well the girl i was with completely fell in love with me and i was right she changed me. made me realize i cant do that to her or to my self so i came out to her first, then my family, and close friends.. the problem is no one believes me..

should i just let it be and go with the flow now? I don't plan on going out of my way to prove I'm gay, and is that better..

i am the type not to take anything personal so i still joke around with my friends when they make gay remarks or say something funny about the subject is that good or bad?
Click to expand...

*points to the phrase under my username*

yup I'd just go with the flow...no need to go out of your way to try to prove that you are gay. Eventually they may come around to believing you, but who cares really? It's just a label and they'd still treat you the same if they truly care for you. This goes for your family, friends, and ex-girlfriend.
 
They get it. The problem is, they don't want to get it, don't want to believe it, don't want it to be true, etc. etc. That's OK. For some people, it takes time to get their head around the idea.

There's nothing, really, you can do except continue to act naturally--naturally for you, and be yourself. You've been honest with everyone around you so far, and that's a great thing. They will accept reality--each in their own time. In the meantime, you have your head screwed on straight, have a great sense of humor, and me-thinks you're going to get by just fine.
 
Was in a similar situation to you. Everyone was surprised, and was never really talked much about either
 
Thanks everyone for the advice means a lot.
For the most part I haven't had any backlash from anyone, my parents still think its a joke which I know is denial but I'm okay with that..
I am actually the straightest gay person anyone is probably going to meet. I think it's cause I'm still fresh out. I don't know we will see thanks again.
 
esmith said:
(..) my parents still think its a joke which I know is denial but I'm okay with that..
Click to expand...

hi esmith,

I would not worry too much about the opinion of your parents. Maybe you will soon get a boyfriend and take him home, that's a good way to make clear to your parents that being gay is not some sort of 'joke'. Maybe / likely, you will also make gay friends who become part of your life (and your parents become aware that you also have gay friends). So don't worry too much about the opinion of your parents.

esmith said:
(..). should i just let it be and go with the flow now? I don't plan on going out of my way to prove I'm gay, and is that better.. ()i am the type not to take anything personal so i still joke around with my friends when they make gay remarks or say something funny about the subject is that good or bad?
Click to expand...

A very good strategy to go with the flow and don't go out of your way to prove that you are gay. Also no problem at all to keep joking around with friends, why not? It seems to me that its not a real big deal for you that you are gay, and I tend to think that people around you will be aware of this. Incorporate gay friends (or a boyfriend) in your daily life, and people will be aware that you are not straight.

Good luck and take care.
 
I'm not gay or bi but a few months ago I allowed myself to love my best friend the way I felt deep down. When I told my parents and other friends, I got a few laughs and odd remarks. 3 moths later...everyone is adjusting to my relationship with my guy. His parents are worried I will hurt him by leaving him for a woman. That just isn't an option for me. Long haul is my choice. My advice for you...don't throw anything in anyone's face and just allow yourself to act naturally.
 
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