Reclaiming language- thoughts?

[sabot3ur]

carlb if you're an adult then you should know when it's appropriate to use such language. if you offend people so much it also means they probably don't respect you, and see your foul mouth as childish. I'm all for not caring about what others think about you but that's not an excuse for everything.

 

[bankside]

I accept the reasoning behind it: the idea is to give proof of the old saying that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me."

"I'm a nigger kike faggot gypo gwailo wog slut." I say that with a smile on my face and it shows just how much I don't care whether that is someone's opinion or not. It undermines and marginalised the insult within that opinion, in the context where the speaker has other means of using power to assert his equality.

Those words used to be nuclear bombs that could intimidate and control people. "Reclaiming the word" is like announcing to your enemy that you have Star Wars or Patriot Missiles, or whatever weapon you like that renders their bombs useless. It is the equivalent of the world's capitals saying "Go ahead and bomb us. It won't make a difference. Here, let me show you, we'll set off a bomb of our own. See? Nothing happened to us. We're impervious."

It is just part of the arms race of human dignity.

 

[dodo2761]

They are just words to me, a means to an end, the end being my conveyance of a concept or idea.

You sum up your position here- but as you point out it is the interpretation of those words by those receiving them.
My argument is that if those words have been used 'against' you as a form of abuse. They they can be unacceptable to the person who hears them.
So if you choose to use the word because YOU think they are 'just words, then you could be causing great offence if you dont check out with those hearing it first to see if the language is 'acceptable'.

I accept that language can need to have some intent to offend behind it, but it can sometimes be more subtle than this.

I remember attending some training on how to support victims of domestic abuse and am reminded of the time a wife explains thaqt during a councelling session her husband twisted his wedding ring around on his finger.
He didnt have to say anything and she knew she was going to get a kicking later.
You and I would see the same thing and have no idea what was going on.

Unless we know the personal experiences of people, we should be wary of using words, which might be offensive, if we havent first checked out that people are ok with the use of the words.

You say that you use these words as they are ok to you.
If you had just had a good kicking from someone who had abused you by calling you a homo or a fag, how would you feel when a member of your own community then used those word to you?
Maybe you would be ok- others may not.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I believe in honor among thieves and faggots; and some of my other friends too. People who share a history of danger, oppression, and belonging have a right to their special language and the words they use with each other. I don't speak certain words in mixed company, but with people like me (black on black, gay on gay, or male on male) it's a damn different story. I bring out my special words and my fellows respond in kind. It's all in the "family." But if you're not "family," you'd better watch your damn dirty mouth! There are some lines that don't need to be crossed.

Provocative, even offensive language is perfectly acceptable when you're among your own kind. When you're with others, you need to mind your fool manners, unless you want to get your glib ass jacked up!

Every generation seems to have to learn these life lessons anew.

As has been said, "context is everything." Black men have a right to say what they will about themselves when talking to other black men. Gay men have a right to say what they will about themselves when talking to other gay men. And Lord only knows what words pass female lips when there are no men around and it's just the girls talking!

People need to know and understand their identity, and realize they are who they are because someone else isn't!

If each group can respect every other group's space and privacy, we'll all get along fine. Fuck individuals and their hysterical sensitivities. Individuals belong to groups and need to know their inner-group language and how to speak to ones outside the group.

 

[carlb85]

^And that why i think reclamation is stupid, because at the end of the day, if someone random and outside the culture came in and referred to you as a slur, you would take it as a negative.

Carlb up there is pretty much one of those morons that thinks by not having a filter, he's always right. What's ironic is, he claims to have a huge vocabulary, but then states he routinely uses slurs - rendering himself moot with his contradictions.

No, actually, I am not one of those morons, though I support your right to believe so and call me so if you wish. In all actuality I am always ready to admit when I am wrong, especially in the face of evidence. However I consider myself an adult, with a strong sense of emotional integrity, and I don't let idiotic bullshit like name calling, or slurs, bother me. It's childish and overly emotional.

I do apologize if my opinion upset or offended anyone, It was most certainly not my intention. I was simply putting my personal opinion out there. I do take into consideration the surroundings I am in before I use that type of language, I didn't mean to make myself sound like a complete idiot up there, though I do freely admit that I did, in a major way.

I have just heard this whole thing so many times, and the ones who are always getting upset are just so childish about it that I tend to go a little overboard with my opinions.

 

[bankside]

I do want to amplify the point I made about context. I believe people are endowed with the ability to express an opinion that is intended to offend. When someone intends to offend me with a remark, as shown by the context, then of course the remark itself is offensive. It was intended to be and it is.

But it is up to me what I do with that remark. An offensive remark is usually also intended to intimidate or control. It is up to me whether I let a remark intimidate or control me, and I choose not to be sucked in.

I think I might differ from BabiGayPimp on one point - I think that people from different backgrounds can create a shared context where these reclaimed words would be acceptable to exchange. I don't believe in "my own kind." Or, I do believe in it, but I believe in transcending the boundaries, and I also think "my own kind" overlaps almost universally with "somebody else's own kind." There is not much that one person can experience that another person cannot, and even less that another person can't understand or empathise with.

 

[StlKj]

My take on the issue is this: If a person wants to refer to himself or herself by whatever word is being reclaimed, so be it. If you can do that without any negative associations or emotional wounds, then yay you. Go to it.

But words have power. Any suggestion they don't is absurd to me. They communicate thoughts and ideas. Our words conjure up images in our minds, and those images have emotions attached to them. I truly believe that even when we are joking with those we love and use words others would use against us, we are still dehumanizing each other. We diminish ourselves in some small way, and I don't believe it desensitizes us in a good way at all.

Consider--whose words hurt us the most? Loved ones. Who are we most likely to use such harsh words with? Loved ones. At some point, when we use sarcasm, insults, or hurtful words and phrases with loved ones, we allow those expressions to fill in for true and genuine expressions of feelings. I believe that instead of reinforcing genuine feelings of affection, they really undermine them.

That's just my take on it. I honestly believe that what we think is reclaiming is really just a sign that the words used against us have infiltrated and insinuated themselves into our lives, all the while still maintaining their negative power. If we truly reclaimed them for ourselves, then when others used them against us, we would no longer be offended by their usage.