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Reducing pain with anal sex!?!

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dahighest

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Hey all :help:

I am in a critical position. My current boyfriend and I have been together and dating for six months now and decided to establish a monogomous relationship about two months ago.

We recently attempted to have sex (me as the bottom) for the first time on Valentines Day but, due to my lack of experience with men, I wasn't able to tolerate the pain. He had barely gotten the head of his penis inside before I cried for him to withdraw.

I first had sex before with my former boyfriend about two years ago but his penis was smaller, so I was able to manage. I really love my current boyfriend and I think it bothered him last week that I couldn't tolerate the pain. I know he was really looking forward to it and he's been patient enough to wait for six months. How can I satisfy him and reduce the severe pain I experienced with our first try? I want to give it another shot very soon. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
 
A local anesthetic can be very helpful - try anogesic, remicaine jelly, etc. And take it slow at first, you will get used to it! Been there myself....
 
Start out with a finger then slowly add more fingers.

Go very slow and use plenty of lube. You should be able to accommodate.
 
The three things you need are lube, patience and time. You're going to have to work up to this. Start with one heavily lubed finger, and take your time until it feels loose. Then move on to two fingers, then three. This can take quite a while - relax, enjoy it, make out while you're doing it. Then he can move on to his condom-sheathed, heavily lubed cock. Again, patience and time - it may take several minutes to get it in, and once in, he should leave it there until you're used to it.

Lex
 
^^^^Lex is right. Learning to RELAX is a major thing. Also lots and lots of lube.
 
Lube up your fingers and put them in one at a time, practice with lubed jumbo markers and then a lubed dildo Later try a real lubed dick.
 
Remicane jelly. My first boyfriend had
problems when I would penetrate him
so we got some remicane jelly and that
helped.
 
Practice, practice, practice.

That's all I can recommend.

A bucket of Crisco and plastic sheets and you'll be able to take everything smaller than his forearm in no time.
 
A bucket of Crisco

Just ditch the crisco when having sex with the real thing. Crisco + condoms is bad, very bad!

Over in the "Health & Well-being" section there are lots of threads on this subject- it's probably the most commonly asked question in that section.
 
Another important point: you need to be able to relax, and to totally trust your partner. An ideal position for first time is on your back, legs on his shoulders. Then he can aim gently into you.

-T.
 
Just get the head in quickly. Once it is in, it's no longer stretching the anus and causing pain. At least that's how it worked for me. My bf going in slowly only prolonged the agony of the head stretching my anus. It felt great after the head was in. I didn't want it to end lol
 
teepop21 said:
What exactly is Remicane jelly?
Click to expand...

It's probably a UK or Australian brand. Generally, anything with "caine" at the end is a desensitizing agent- the same stuff that you put on a baby's gums when they are teething.
 
frikkels said:
A local anesthetic can be very helpful - try anogesic, remicaine jelly, etc. And take it slow at first, you will get used to it! Been there myself....
Click to expand...

NOT a good idea to use numbing agent. Pain is natural for your body to tell you what to do next.
 
Martkell2007 said:
Just get the head in quickly. Once it is in, it's no longer stretching the anus and causing pain. At least that's how it worked for me. My bf going in slowly only prolonged the agony of the head stretching my anus. It felt great after the head was in. I didn't want it to end lol
Click to expand...

didn't u felt like pooing ? :confused:
 
****UPDATE****

Well guys, I just wanted to let you all know that I finally was able to do it. It happened on Apr 5. We have been foolin around and I decided that I was really going to try to take it this time. He entered once again and the pain came as before. He pulled out the lil bit he had gotten inside without hesitation, as he had been used to doing for some time now. But I urged him to put it back in. He tried again slowly and I felt hardly anything for about 15 seconds. I asked him what he was waiting for and he told me that he was fully inside. He began his thing and it was truly amazing. It didnt hurt hardly at all and I can tell he really enjoyed. I'm so glad I can finally please my baby. THANKS so much for all your advice. It really helped me through.

P.S.-And for those who may be concerned, we were fully strapped and lubed for our first time!!
 
dahighest said:
****UPDATE****

Well guys, I just wanted to let you all know that I finally was able to do it. It happened on Apr 5. We have been foolin around and I decided that I was really going to try to take it this time. He entered once again and the pain came as before. He pulled out the lil bit he had gotten inside without hesitation, as he had been used to doing for some time now. But I urged him to put it back in. He tried again slowly and I felt hardly anything for about 15 seconds. I asked him what he was waiting for and he told me that he was fully inside. He began his thing and it was truly amazing. It didnt hurt hardly at all and I can tell he really enjoyed. I'm so glad I can finally please my baby. THANKS so much for all your advice. It really helped me through.

P.S.-And for those who may be concerned, we were fully strapped and lubed for our first time!!
Click to expand...

hey well done,
i still have not experience a full length cock in me yet because of pain.
just curious, did u use any numbing thing as some people suggested.

did u felt like pooing ?
 
Seems like you're doing well now but I just want to say this:

Experience doesn't mean anything. You just have to want it badly enough. I don't know what to tell you but when I got fucked the first time the guy didn't even need to use lube. I just bent over and it happened and it felt really good. But a few other times I wasn't in the mood really and it felt awkward/strange.

It isn't talked about because it still is such a taboo, but your asshole seems to have some kind of internal and sexual thing so if it wants to be fucked then it will be fucked and if it doesn't it doesn't. And when you want it, it's the most amazing/deep connection you will ever feel. But when you don't you kinda act like the jerky mean straight boy and be all "Ew, why would you want to do that? That's where I shit."

You have to want it. Just think. Just stick something up your ass RIGHT NOW when you're not even that horny. It's not gonna feel sexual or erotic at all. But then sometimes your hole will just be BEGGING to be fucked and you will be so open/trusting/accepting you could stick a pineapple up your butt and it wouldn't phase you. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. You gotta have both passion and technique working together.

Everybody is different, but for me I only like anal stimulation about a few times per month. And it only happens when I'm in a mood to be fucked ya know? Other times I just wanna cuddle with a guy as boring as that is to people. I mean there's this intense 'bottom mood' that you just have to get in.....
 
Try riding the cock - you have more power as the bottom that way and it's actually only a fantasy/myth that bottoms want to be taken advantage of. Plus it feels really good to just ride a dick. It feels sooo sexual and filling. I usually look at myself in the mirror when this happens....cause it helps heighten the mood. I also like to pretend I'm one of my favorite gay porn stars. Silly I know but haha I love them. I like to joke about sex a lot, not be so uptight. Just remember that the golden rule applies to everywhere in the universe, even sex.

I find out how versatile I am through experience- I thought I was this like total bottom but I'm not. So many guys seem to get off on the random blowjob where they're completely the receptive partner, and me I'm not just like that. I want my dick sucked and I wanna fuck some ass - but I also like the reverse. To me I don't understand the point of being gay if you can't be vers but that's just me.
 
Telstra said:
hey well done,
i still have not experience a full length cock in me yet because of pain.
just curious, did u use any numbing thing as some people suggested.

did u felt like pooing ?
Click to expand...

No, I didnt use any numbing agent. I just relaxed and trusted that my dude would take good care of me, which he did. I also didnt feel like "pooing" as you're calling it. There was a little bit of flatuence though as he thrusted in the beginning. That was a little embarassing.

I also did ride the penis. That was great because it gave me control and my dude loved it. He came less than 2 minutes of me riding it. :sex:
 
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