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Regret having sex?

winterknight

winterknight

Pure in Heart
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I have had sex with another person exactly once in my life. Last year I allowed my embarrassment at being a 28-year-old virgin to overcome myself-respect, and went to a sauna in London.

I've regretted it ever since.

Anyone else feel the same way?

(And no, I don't know why I'm suddenly thinking about this tonight)
 
Dave, the secret is to respect yourself before sex, and afterwards will be a piece of cake. Few get respect by just having sex with another person. What is that song? "Looking in All the Wrong Places."

This may not be what you wanted to hear, but I hope it is gentle and helpfu. Good luck.

Shep+
 
You want him to reward himself afterwards with a piece of cake???? ;)

I think he's saying that deep down he doesn't want to get all messy and stuff.
But, yeah, guy, Winterknight----there are better options.

You have a lot of positives.
Maybe we could extract the syllable s-e-x from this situation. After all, it doesn't have anything to do with having babies. Furthermore, don't feel compelled to go farther than you like. And if you care enough, care enough to share your feelings. There's somebody waiting for somebody just like you. But hey, that means they're "shy" like you are or whatever you want to call it, just like you.
Hmmmm. Well, don't feel like you have to change everything about yourself. Just change one or two things--not necessarily BIG things-- just to be adventurous and see what happens.

The regret thing---I remember that. It's a basic biological element constituting our nervous pre-conditions underlying our susceptibility to religious beliefs. Don't try to abolish it. Try to understand it. Try to moderate or calm it down.
 
My first sexual experience was vaguely similar. An opportunity presented itself, I felt like I should take advantage, and I did.

Was it ideal? No. It was his first time, too. We were both clumsy, and he was far too rough for my tastes.

Do I regret it? Not in the slightest. It may not have been ideal, but it was fun. We both got off a couple times, I learned a few things, and I didn't have to keep thinking "I'm gonna die a virgin". (I think every virgin starts thinking that at age 20 or so.)

You had sex. If I remember correctly, you enjoyed it at the time. You even seemed rather chipper afterwards. No, it wasn't "deep" or "meaningful", but if it was enjoyable, then there's nothing to regret.

Lex
 
I seemed to enjoy it at the time, sure. Within a couple of days, though, the horror had sunk in and I began to blot the details from my memory.

At this point, I have no real desire to have sex again.
 
you cant change the past, so get over it and get on with it.
 
The "horror"? What was the horror? You were horny, he was horny, you wanted to have sex, he wanted to have sex, you had sex.

Lex
 
Well, let me just say this for the record. Your posts, your attitude, your overall "feel" during the days following your one sexual escapade were the time you seemed more human, more pleasant, and (dare I say it) more at peace with yourself than I've seen you otherwise. It may be, Prince Rilian, that your madness is your sanity, and your sanity is your madness. Point to ponder.

Lex
 
I can't understand how someone can regret sex, I mean you can make a mistake, sure I know people who do that all the time. But you just shrug it off, tell yourself "I'm not gonna do that with them again" and get on with your life.

Anyway, Its better to regret something you've done than something you haven't. Look at it like this, at least you have that experience to regret, I don't have that experience.
 
I regret my first time... I was like... 16 the guy was around 24... wanted to try how it feels... and.... I felt like molested:( he pushed me to blow his (!) even though he knew that i didnt want it anymore... I was so upset when I got back home! I felt like raped :cry:
 
can not help but wonder ...is it really regret or disappointment?
You gave up your virginity to another man in a sauna who was there to simply hook up and have sex...wait a minute that's why you were there too so why the regret?
Maybe you are just disappointed that having sex didn't answer all your questions ... maybe what you need to remember is that there is cheap sex and there is SEX... you had cheap sex in the sauna, you were there to simply get off and so was he.... now you are disappointed that you didn't find all the answers and that you added a few more questions... so get out there and find someone, get to know them and have some good old fashioned SEX, you know the kind where you get pleasure out of pleasuring someone else and he gets pleasure out of pleasing you... it seems like you placed a value on your virginity but when you surrendered it at the sauna you were disappointed in the outcome...you can not get your virginity back but you can learn from the experience....sometimes cheap sex makes you feel cheap....and other times it makes you feel GREAT!!!
 
I realize about your regrets; but certainly you can NOT continue having bad thoughts when at the time you most certainly did have some pleasure?

One should NOT/must NOT stand atop the mount shouting to the world below what a horrible sexual experience they ONCE had when it should be repeated until you accept what is offered with grace and thanks...

Would you not rather remember pleasure and forget pain?

Sex should be enjoyed like a fine wine, savored and remembered and then drunk again, NOT gulping it down; but sipping and thoroughly enjoying the high one gains from the ride! lol(*8*):kiss::kiss:(*8*)
 
well there are some encounters that i am not really proud of .. but hey - like with everything else you do you can also do wrong here as well :)
 
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