UPDATE: I arrived in my friend's hometown early from my prEP appointment. I found the local library and hung out there until about 25 minutes before our agreed time to meet. At that time, I sent him a text informing him I was in town and would be at his place in about a half hour.
He replied back stating he was still at school. I replied back no problem, I can slow down. Then he sent another text stating that he wanted to go work out; then another message stating that I should have texted him before I left to come here. Before I could respond, he sent another message asking what do I wanted to eat. Before I could respond to any of these texts, he rung my phone.
I told him I could hang out while he did his workout. He said that would be rude of him. We agreed 5:30. He then asked if he could meet me somewhere. I don't know his town, so I had no idea where to meet him. He asked what did I want to eat? Anything you want was my reply. The conversation just went in circles. He decided he would meet me at the library.
When we met at the library, he looked frustrated and confused. He suggested we go out for burgers, I said no. I asked if he liked Mexican food and he did. He knew of a restaurant that served good Mexican food. So, it was decided that is where we will go. We both stated we needed a drink.
He wanted to take separate cars. I suggested we both go in mine. I told him I didn't mind bringing him back when we are finished. He agreed to ride with me to the restaurant.
Once he pointed me in the right direction, he buried his face into his phone. He was looking for something. He said something about a receipt. I tried to talk to him. He said something about he paid money at school and should have two receipts. He returned to his phone.
I could feel things weren't going well here. Then I said, "I feel like I owe you an apology. I want you to know I'm sorry." I couldn't form a complete thought at that moment. He looked at me and said, "That's OK." Then he put away his phone. We began to talk.
This was the first of about five or six apologies I made to him while we were together. We both ordered jumbo margaritas from the top shelf at the restaurant. The more I drank, the more my inhibitions came down and I could actually tell him how I feel.
The conversation at the restaurant went well. He talked about his frustrations at school, the hurt he feels from his ex, his mom and one of his sisters. I learned he is the oldest of six siblings.
He is very close to his mom. Dad is dead. He showed his mom my picture. Mom thinks I'm good-looking. He gave the teddy bear to one of his sisters who overdosed about five days ago. I thought how horrendous. This guy is dealing with a break-up, school, and now a sibling that OD. He showed me a picture of his sister in the hospital bed with the teddy bear. She was snuggling up to the bear with her head on it. I'm thinking of buying his sister a teddy bear too.
Once I had a sufficient amount of margarita in me, I went into a long apology. "You contacted me for a NSA fuck. I brought you a lot of drama too. I am sorry.
I am absolutely crazy about you. I understand you are going through a breakup. I understand you are not ready for a relationship. I understand we have the worst possible timing. I have no idea how all this is going to work out. But, I have to have you in my life."
I reached across the table and held his face in my hand. He did not turn away. I could see tears puddling up in his eyes.
I said, "I need to hush. If I say anymore I will cry."
His response was that I did not do anything intentional. I did not know things would go the way they did. It is OK.
In another converstion, I told him I will not be texting him 4-5 times a day anymore. On the other hand, I texted him on Monday of last week, then I did not text him again until Friday to give him some space. "I thought I was in Hell! Is it OK if I text you a couple of times a week to check up on you?" He said "I will like that."
We enjoyed our meal together. I did not put any limitations on what he could order. We enjoyed ourselves. I asked him if any of his stress was gone. He said yes. He said he needed this.
Before our time together ended, he allowed me to hug him and to kiss him several times. He told me once that he did not like public displays of affection, but yet we were hugging and kissing in the parking lot.
I told him that he will be receiving another package from me on Friday. I will explain after he receives it. These are the roses I ordered. BTW, I ordered these roses before the big blowup occurred.
Before we departed, I asked him if everything was good between us. He said it was. I told him if he needed me for anything, I was 45 minutes down the road. I will be there for him. I told him "You are not alone. You are not alone. You are loved. You are loved."
I asked if I could see him again. He said he will give me an answer by Thursday. He told me to text him once I got home so he knows I made it safely home which I did.
I think overall, the evening went well.
