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Relationship help

B

bayern20

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Ok, I thought I understood how things work in terms of relationship, and maybe that is true, but not when I'm personally involved.

I have no idea how to handle them and what to do. I usually screw it up even though the chemistry is there and I have the chance.

I'm the type of guy that wants to give things a chance if I see they are possible from the start.

So, my situation is that I've chatted to this guy for a few months, and we met yesterday. My expectations were met and I really liked him. He invited me to his house, and came on to me, we kissed, etc...nothing major, innocent stuff. So I think the attraction part is there for both sides.

However, should I tell him what I'm thinking..that I really do feel something for him..or will that scare him away? (since its so early) or will me not saying anything turn him off thinking I am not that interested?
 
Don't tell him how you feel. Believe me. Tell him when you are both boyfriends.

I never had a boyfriend and I'm only 18, but its best that you don't tell him how you feel about him. It might ruin it for you, him, or both.

Keeping your oppinons and feeling about a person are best to keep to yourself when you want to see where this will go.

Telling him how you feel about him (just to see if he likes you more) is like asking for his personal thing when you don't know him enough.

Get to know more about him in mutual conversations and dates, and if things turn out good (becoming BF or just really good friends), then you can tell him how you feel.

If you want him as a fuck buddy, hook up, or anythign like that, then forget what I just said.
 
I think you should take things easy, don't scare him off, develop your friendship. You don't need to tell him those feelings just demonstrate that you want to be friends, Invite him round for a movie, grab a pizza or whatever together. Just chill together. That will enable you to grow together at a comfortable pace. There is nothing more scary than having someone declare their love for you after a first meeting, believe me, I've been there.

I wish you well my friend (*8*)
 
ugh...I hate these rules. Why cant people just be upfront?!?!?

I told him I had a good time and that he is cute..is that too much?

Should I ignore him a little?
 
They aren't rules, it's advice from outsiders who have experienced this. You are free to do just as you want. If you want to take the risk of coming on strong before you really know him that is entierly up to you. We only ADVISE otherwise.

To tell him is cute and you had a good time is exactly right. You boost his self esteem and we all like that. So why not now do as previously sugested and get to know him better and take it further at a comfortable pace. (*8*)
 
I understand what you mean. If someone told me right away that they loved me or something like that, I would be scared, and think they were really desperate.

I am not in love with him but I am starting to have feelings for him though.
 
You see, I guess the problem is that even though there is signs that he is attracted to me and likes me in general, I can not be 100% sure until we get to point of a relationship. That is hard.

Its just that you think if two people really really liked each other, they could just say it, and both be fine with it. Or am I in dream world?
 
You've answered yourself there.

Its just that you think if two people really really liked each other, they could just say it, and both be fine with it
Click to expand...
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The only way you'll find out if you both really really like each other, rather than think you might, is to both spend some time getting to really really know each other. You've only met him once. Enjoy building a friendship you can't have any sort of true emotional relationship without that base.

You want to find out if he is a ritual dog slayer, beats his mother, has common interests with you, is easy to conerse with on subjects you both enjoy. It's a two way thing, he will need to do the same.

Be patient and enjoy a wonderfull process (*8*)
 
You've met only once. I'm not sure how long you've known him. Maybe you should start with getting to know just a little bit more to really make sure that he is who is before you spill out your heart to him. I'm all for telling the truth and everything there is to tell, but, you just have to be sure that he is the right person and you're not going to end up hurting anyone including yourself!
 
btw...As our first "date" our get together was ending, he drove me to my place, while he was driving he was touching my legs (rubbing) then when I got there, before I got out, he kissed me on the forhead. I said I would call him. Now, I have not called him, but that is because the next day I saw him on MSN early on and we chatted for a bit. So is that the same or does he expect the call? I haven't talked to him for 2 days now and I have to say I am getting a little worried. Even our chat on MSN was short.
 
Why not send him an email or message or call him to do something social, meal out, movie, walk whatever you do for friendly non intimate relaxation that will give you both a chance to get to know each other. Not at your house or his as you'll end up in the same situation you are now but worse. Make friends in a non pushy way get to like the person not just the sex and the false highs it can give you.

Just an Idea! (*8*)
 
First off, I totally understand your frustration with this beginning a relationship BS. And it is very unnerving.

Based on all I've read, I think a phone call and a casual get together is fine. Call him up and see if he wants to grab dinner or a movie or something. Basically like trawler said. Very casual, laid back asking of him out would be fine.
 
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