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Relationship Help!!

PR1NC3

PR1NC3

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Hey guys, so I have been messing around with this guy since October.. I know all of his friends and have met his family, we have been pretty much living together since December, and everything was looking up (as far as I thought..) Lately, the spark hasnt been there. I know I care about him, and I know he cares about me, but I just dont know what to do. Before we got together, he dated an older, big black top. And now me, I am a 20 yr/old, skinny white bottom..LOL. So Im not sure if it is the sex life (I am a bottom, he tops me) that is creating this obstacle, or why our relationship seems to be 'flat-lining' and 'love' just isnt happening.. I know this is somewhat weird to be asking for serious advice like this on JUB, but still, I need your guys' advice!!

Thank you!! ..|
 
Prince,

Do you have toys? Would using a toy on your BF help stoke his emotions? Would a romantic evening help the fires burn? Just because you prefer receiving all the attention, does not mean you can not take control and show some attention too.

wishing you all the best and hope you and your BF Celebrate your lifes both separate and together.
 
@Rand - Yes, I know he has a Dildo but we have never used it while having sex before. I dont know if I feel scared...or what the deal is. The dynamics of our relationship are based on me being the bottom and him being the 'top' and 'my man.' I just dont know what to do.. I care for him so much (and he knows) but it seems as if the spark is fading and we are really just friends.. I dont want to give up on him/us, so I would love to 'spark things up'...before its too late!
 
So, I'm guessing being a top every now and again is out of the question?- Reversing roles every now and again.
 
@DRSM- No it is not out of the question, I'm not opposed to it. But I just don't know how to make that happen. Like I said, it would change up the dynamics of our entire relationship thus far, so I'm not sure how to go about doing it.. but maybe that's what really does need to happen to not ose him..?
 
PR1NC3 said:
Hey guys, so I have been messing around with this guy since October.. I know all of his friends and have met his family, we have been pretty much living together since December, and everything was looking up (as far as I thought..) Lately, the spark hasnt been there. I know I care about him, and I know he cares about me, but I just dont know what to do. Before we got together, he dated an older, big black top. And now me, I am a 20 yr/old, skinny white bottom..LOL. So Im not sure if it is the sex life (I am a bottom, he tops me) that is creating this obstacle, or why our relationship seems to be 'flat-lining' and 'love' just isnt happening.. I know this is somewhat weird to be asking for serious advice like this on JUB, but still, I need your guys' advice!!

Thank you!! ..|
Click to expand...

Not enough info but if i were to take a wild guess, it would be that the lust has worn off.

Real love, however, takes time...as in years.
 
Think back to what attracted you in the first place...

He knew you weren't a black top when he started dating you, so disregard that.
 
Think about this. If a person can repeatedly take a guys dick up his ass it ought to be possible and desirable to talk to that person about ANYTHING. Start the conversation.
 
PR1NC3 said:
@DRSM- No it is not out of the question, I'm not opposed to it. But I just don't know how to make that happen. Like I said, it would change up the dynamics of our entire relationship thus far, so I'm not sure how to go about doing it.. but maybe that's what really does need to happen to not ose him..?
Click to expand...

Just tell him that the next time you both are having sex- That you want to fuck the shit out of him? Or if you want to be nicer then that, just tell him that you'd like to top him? Or you could always just start to rim him, and transition into fucking him? Or start by pulling his ass cheeks apart, and starting to play down there while making out?

Is there something else in the relationship that has left you unsatisfied or is it just that you feel inadequate in comparison to his ex's in satisfying him sexually? Every relationship is going to have a different dynamic, and his ex being black and a top doesn't place much baring on anything. If he likes to be a bottom as well, you both need to find a dynamic that leaves you both satisfied, or if you are unwilling to compromise. Then you are probably best off walking away.
 
@lucky7 - yes, the relationship did begin based on sex, but we have moved past that. We get along with each other's friends, have quality 1-on-1 time (like going to the movies, to dinner, etc) but I still feel like the spark isnt there anymore. Im not sure if we took things too quickly (basically living together after only a few weeks) but I dont want to lose him! :(
 
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