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Relationship problems

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biguy562

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Hey guys!

ok, here it goes. I am 27 and my ex is 20. He broke up with me this past weekend. We had been together over two years.

well my boyfriend's ex from Louisiana came up to surprise him. They have NEVER met but have known each other for about 5 years or so. His ex asked me ever since we had started dating if I would mind if he came up here one day and surprise him...I said no thinking it would never happen so back in April he sent me a message and was like I booked a flight up there June 25-28 and I can't get my money back.

we went to the beach and they cuddled so close together all night and all day one day you couldn't pry them away from each other with a lever.
and they have a few "songs" and he played them for my boyfriend and they cuddled and cried on the way back from the beach...the whole way!

Now he says that every time he says he loves me he is thinking of him and needs time to sort things out.

the reason why I agreed to let his ex come was because I believed he was emotionally mature to handle it...I trusted him and they haven't ever met until last week!

My boyfriend broke up with me not because he wasn't happy but because he didn't want to hurt me by having feelings for his ex while he was with me.

Now, a couple days later he and his ex (from Louisiana) are not talking, something serious happened between them but I don't know what.

I have not talked to my ex since he broke up with me. I have forgiven him 100%.

He and I had a awesome relationship, no problems whatsoever. I am going to give him time to sort out his feelings.

Do you think he will eventually come back to me?
 
if he did come back, why would you even want him?

everyone deserves better than a guy who'd go out on a date with his ex with his current boyfriend sitting right there and spend the whole time cuddling together.
 
I would want him back because I honestly believe he loves me and that he would never do anything to hurt me. In my opinion, when they met each other their emotions came back 10-fold and because they had such a "deep" online relationship and never met, their emotions got away from them. I think what they are feeling for each other is "superficial" love, if that makes sense. You know when you meet someone online and talk for a long time you feel like you know the person's life story and every little thing about them when in reality you hardly know anything about them.
 
Doing something KNOWING it hurts the guy you supposedly love is EXACTLY the same as doing it TO hurt him. There is absolutely no difference, both say the exact same thing about what type of person you are.
 
You're fooling yourself. He did HURT you, by cheating on you with his ex - emotionally and physically. Be it infatuation or not, if somebody who's in a committed relationship for TWO YEARS can't handle sudden infatuation. And it's even worse when you were THERE the whole time!!

I'm sorry to say that but the feelings you boyfriend has for you are not enough to keep the relationship. Don't keep fooling yourself by running back to him - you'll end up hurting yourself. That feeling, superficial or not, of your boyfriend for the guy isn't gonna go away anytime soon, especially when it's strong enough for him to betray his boyfriend who's sitting next to him.

It's not something to be proud of, but I used to be in your boyfriend's position. And I kid you not, the hollowness in that unfinished relationship made me crave for it even more. You know, people tend to crave for things they almost had but can't actually have it - and that's what's your boyfriend is (and I was) in. Now I look back and I see how stupid I was to delude myself to such degree, but it took time and hurt to learn the lesson, and it wasn't just in days or months. You need to move one from this guy.
 
He doesn't deserve you and you deserve better.
 
I honestly believe he loves me and that he would never do anything to hurt me.
Click to expand...

[-X

Even if you're in an open relationship, he crossed boundaries by emotionally connecting with another. Better yet, your ex completely disregarded your 'awesome' relationship with a guy from the net.
 
biguy562 said:
Hey guys!

ok, here it goes. I am 27 and my ex is 20. He broke up with me this past weekend. We had been together over two years.

well my boyfriend's ex from Louisiana came up to surprise him. They have NEVER met but have known each other for about 5 years or so. His ex asked me ever since we had started dating if I would mind if he came up here one day and surprise him...I said no thinking it would never happen so back in April he sent me a message and was like I booked a flight up there June 25-28 and I can't get my money back.

we went to the beach and they cuddled so close together all night and all day one day you couldn't pry them away from each other with a lever.
and they have a few "songs" and he played them for my boyfriend and they cuddled and cried on the way back from the beach...the whole way!

Now he says that every time he says he loves me he is thinking of him and needs time to sort things out.

the reason why I agreed to let his ex come was because I believed he was emotionally mature to handle it...I trusted him and they haven't ever met until last week!

My boyfriend broke up with me not because he wasn't happy but because he didn't want to hurt me by having feelings for his ex while he was with me.

Now, a couple days later he and his ex (from Louisiana) are not talking, something serious happened between them but I don't know what.

I have not talked to my ex since he broke up with me. I have forgiven him 100%.

He and I had a awesome relationship, no problems whatsoever. I am going to give him time to sort out his feelings.

Do you think he will eventually come back to me?
Click to expand...

You were good with all this because he was emotionally mature, but then his reaction to his "ex" showed that he was not. So do you want to be dating someone who is not emotionally mature?

I figured out he was not emotionally mature because he doesn't sound like he is old enough or has lived through the right opportunities to develop emotional maturity.
 
I agree with every one of you. I know the relationship ended for the good because also it was one-sided financially. I did practically all the paying. I can count on one hand the number of times he ever bought anything for me or us the entire two years. However, I feel like if he were to come back right now I would give him a big hug and say, "I've missed you." :confused:
 
I wouldn't take him back, seems like you can easily just move on with your life and find someone better who will put 50 / 50 into the relationship including equally paying for things so you're not all doing it yourself.
 
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