Relationship - Should I calm down?

[Loqobox]

Hey everyone!

I wanted to ask some advice on my relationship, it's just I'm kinda worried.
I (22 y.o.) had this friend (20 y.o., former classmate) who I became very close to and in a short time, we started hanging out pretty much every single day, doing everything together... we share a lot in common, to the point we always got teased and we really didn't complain.

But he was straight and I knew that. I still confessed my feelings to him, because I started feeling there was something else going on, it wasn't just friendship to me.
I didn't get "rejected", he was just sorry he couldn't love me back.
One year later, I notice he's getting closer to me (more than usual) and even makes jokes about us being together all the time, and me always getting carried away with feelings, felt something was happening
Surprisingly, before classes started, we went camping, just the two of us and the first night, he confessed to me that he realized that he liked me back, it was extremely difficult to him because he never liked men before. And, well, what had to happen, happened (he lost his virginity to me, which made the moment much more special for both of us) and we've been dating for 1 month now.

Short time, I know ^^; But we feel really happy about it, the sex has been pretty great and we're both very active and versatile, so that's not a problem to us.
As men, we can't show our love publicly without people having bad looks, at least where we live, so we get all affectionate when we're alone, not much we can do about it.

But here's the problem... I'm extremely insecure and get jealous easily when I see he gets close to another guy. He knows that though. I really really trust him and I don't want to feel jealous, I just don't know what to do to change it, he even tells me I don't have to worry about it, because he wouldn't leave me for another guy but my insecurity doesn't let me get over it.
When we find guys cute or anything, we tell each other but that's just it, classic men lust Still, we chose each other for a reason.

We're not in the same career anymore, so of course I see him hanging out with other people but, particularly, one guy. My BF tells me they share some things in common and the first day they started talking, he went to his house. He tells me all these things, that he really trusts people easily when they are nice to him, and I wonder if I have to worry about something... even when he told me I shouldn't.

Sorry for the long message, but I would appreciate any advice on this.

 

[kallipolis]

I'm extremely insecure and get jealous easily when I see he gets close to another guy

You've been dating for one month.....

Be patient with your feelings (of jealousy) for your self inflicted torment can reveal more than is healthy for the development of your loving relationship.

....for loving relationships can self destruct over nothing more than misplaced feelings.

 

[jensu846]

He sounds like he is really really in the closet and since he had a such a hard time opening up to you (his best friend) why would you think he would even consider outing himself to anyone else, much less somebody that is not as close as you 2 are?

 

[KaraBulut]

It would be a shame to go through all of this and to lose both a boyfriend and a friend over your own jealousy and insecurity. If- after one month- you're already having this much turmoil, it doesn't portend well for the future- unless you do something to address your own issues.

Out of curiosity, in other relationships that you've had, have you had similar feelings of jealousy and insecurity? Or is it just this one?

 

[borg69unimatrix]

It sounds like you have something really good and special going on right now... something that is very rare and precious that a TON of gay guys hope, dream, and pray for to happen with their straight best friends that ends horribly in rejection. You're that one in a million that actually worked out... Please don't let your insecurities and jealousies screw it up.

You won. Accept the prize. If he's satisfied with your friendship, love, affection, and sex he won't want anyone else but you. Don't scare him off!

 

[Seasoned]

In or out of the closet, gay or straight, all relationships work best with communication and trust. The future plays too big a part in some relationships, in my opinion. Worrying about the longevity of your relationship won't make it last or make it last longer. In fact, it could make it have the opposite effect.

Enjoying what you currently have will make you happier and more relaxed. There are no guaranties. Let things play out. Once you realize that the only person you have control over is yourself, you will hopefully begin to realize that your attitude has a lot to do with how you think and how you behave. You have control of one half of the relationship and knowing that you already realize that you can't force it to be long term by yourself.

At times we may be afraid of relationships ending or of being dumped, but we all have the capacity to survive when the worst happens.

You have a decision to make. Will you spend time making today a good day or will you worry about what may happen tomorrow?

 

[TX-Beau]

You don't trust him if you are that jealous so very quickly, the problem with jealousy is that you don't think he'll stay. Sometimes that's his fault, sometimes it's yours.

 

[Loqobox]

Thanks for the comments, guys, it means a lot!
Every post had a good point. To clarify, we trust each other a lot, so that was never the problem

But I realized I was the problem here and, after a conversation we had, things have been way much better.
It was just me who needed to relax with things, stop my paranoia and enjoy the good moments we have, the love and the happiness.
Perhaps I spoke too soon when I made the thread because I was still feeling a little insecurity but your advices helped me a lot
I'll be more careful next time, haha

So, again, thanks to everyone!

 

[Newmercedes]

Hey everyone!

I wanted to ask some advice on my relationship, it's just I'm kinda worried.
I (22 y.o.) had this friend (20 y.o., former classmate) who I became very close to and in a short time, we started hanging out pretty much every single day, doing everything together... we share a lot in common, to the point we always got teased and we really didn't complain.

But he was straight and I knew that. I still confessed my feelings to him, because I started feeling there was something else going on, it wasn't just friendship to me.
I didn't get "rejected", he was just sorry he couldn't love me back.
One year later, I notice he's getting closer to me (more than usual) and even makes jokes about us being together all the time, and me always getting carried away with feelings, felt something was happening
Surprisingly, before classes started, we went camping, just the two of us and the first night, he confessed to me that he realized that he liked me back, it was extremely difficult to him because he never liked men before. And, well, what had to happen, happened (he lost his virginity to me, which made the moment much more special for both of us) and we've been dating for 1 month now.

Short time, I know ^^; But we feel really happy about it, the sex has been pretty great and we're both very active and versatile, so that's not a problem to us.
As men, we can't show our love publicly without people having bad looks, at least where we live, so we get all affectionate when we're alone, not much we can do about it.

But here's the problem... I'm extremely insecure and get jealous easily when I see he gets close to another guy. He knows that though. I really really trust him and I don't want to feel jealous, I just don't know what to do to change it, he even tells me I don't have to worry about it, because he wouldn't leave me for another guy but my insecurity doesn't let me get over it.
When we find guys cute or anything, we tell each other but that's just it, classic men lust Still, we chose each other for a reason.

We're not in the same career anymore, so of course I see him hanging out with other people but, particularly, one guy. My BF tells me they share some things in common and the first day they started talking, he went to his house. He tells me all these things, that he really trusts people easily when they are nice to him, and I wonder if I have to worry about something... even when he told me I shouldn't.

Sorry for the long message, but I would appreciate any advice on this.

Congratulations. Its really Hot Story..... just Wow

 

[rmfnb24]

Two concerns. 1. It's only been a month and 2. Wow you guys had sex quickly. Did you at least use protection