All I want is a relationship, but the problem is I only want one because I feel like I would be forever alone otherwise. I am 19 and shouldn't be feeling or caring about this. I don't even know how to meet guys because on Grindr I am too ugly, someone literally said gross this morning, and I've tried Plenty of Fish and OKCupid but still nothing. I don't know what to do I just want the forever alone feeling to go away but I don't know how to make it go away and it just leads to a cycle of me feeling ugly and hating myself that I have to bring myself out of each time. I don't even know if this makes sense I just is there anyway you guys could go about helping me learn not to care about other's opinions or about not caring I am not in a relationship?
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Relationship
- Thread starter justtk
- Start date
You're 19, still young, and still figuring yourself out. Hell, I'm 26 and I know I have plenty of years ahead of me. You don't have to have it all figured out and in place right now.
If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to love and accept yourself. It sounds like you place too much weight on what other people think about you. While I've never used Grindr myself, I've heard from others that the guys on there can be pretty shallow and connections don't happen often on there. I wouldn't give those people too much thought.
You have to build up your self-esteem and self-confidence first before you can make the next step. You have to be comfortable with being single before you can get into a relationship. You have to be able to stand on your two feet before you can depend on someone else. Otherwise, your relationship will likely not be happy, or it will fall apart quickly after it forms.
If you want to have a successful relationship, you have to love and accept yourself. It sounds like you place too much weight on what other people think about you. While I've never used Grindr myself, I've heard from others that the guys on there can be pretty shallow and connections don't happen often on there. I wouldn't give those people too much thought.
You have to build up your self-esteem and self-confidence first before you can make the next step. You have to be comfortable with being single before you can get into a relationship. You have to be able to stand on your two feet before you can depend on someone else. Otherwise, your relationship will likely not be happy, or it will fall apart quickly after it forms.
levisboner
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I'm 27 and I'm not in a relationship either - but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy or that I think I'll be alone forever. I have some great friends who are always there for me so I never feel alone. You shouldn't rush into a relationship just for the sake of being in one. Take the time to learn to enjoy your own company first. Fuck the people who call you gross. From your post you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. The looks might be what reels someone in but your heart and your intellect are what keep them.
Ganoderma
JUB Addict
hi justtk,
I tend to think that you should also realize yourself that anyone around you must be aware that you are gay (and single and looking around for a nice boyfriend, etc). So I was wondering if all people around you (work / study, etc.) are aware that you are gay. And how about your profile of Facebook (assumed you have a profile on Facebook). Is it indicated that you are 'single, and interested in men'?
Maybe one of your straight friends / study mates (etc.) will have a nice gay aquaintance. ISo make sure that anyone around you is aware of the real justtk
I also underline the advise of #1.
Good luck and feel free to react / ask for more details.
I tend to think that you should also realize yourself that anyone around you must be aware that you are gay (and single and looking around for a nice boyfriend, etc). So I was wondering if all people around you (work / study, etc.) are aware that you are gay. And how about your profile of Facebook (assumed you have a profile on Facebook). Is it indicated that you are 'single, and interested in men'?
Maybe one of your straight friends / study mates (etc.) will have a nice gay aquaintance. ISo make sure that anyone around you is aware of the real justtk
I also underline the advise of #1.
Good luck and feel free to react / ask for more details.
I would make a general conclusion that most gay men start later in terms of romance compared to our straight counterparts so at 19, I wouldn't get too riled up over being single. I didn't have my first serious relationship until I was 20.
However, I would also add that self-esteem is a turn-on. Yeah, there will be a fair amount of rejection that will rightfully question your self-worth throughout your life and that doesn't just go for romance but all aspects of your life. You take it in stride and soldier on wards.
However, I would also add that self-esteem is a turn-on. Yeah, there will be a fair amount of rejection that will rightfully question your self-worth throughout your life and that doesn't just go for romance but all aspects of your life. You take it in stride and soldier on wards.
aol messenger lol. jk.
I don't go to clubs either but at your age, you should. Go to a gay bar. Gawd, if I had half the balls I have now when I was 19, I would be so much happier...
Do yourself a favor and go to a gay bar. Guys will be hitting on you left and right. Fuck grindr. But if you can't let go of grindr inside a gay bar, well, it won't be too much of a loss either coz all that pinging will drain your battery in no time. By which time you'd be flirting with someone already.
Oops
silly me, you're 19. Eh, what the hell, I'm sure they'll card you anyway. You're just there for the guys, not necessarily for the alcohol. A friend in tow would be even more fun.Hmmm. Or Starbucks? Or some group fun or sex party posted on craigslist. It's a start.
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Please put more emphasis on yourself. No boyfriend will make up for negative thoughts about yourself. Using another person to make up for perceived defects leads to more anxiety, knowing that if the relationship is lost so are you.
Not everyone can build up self-esteem on their own. Consider self-help books or counseling to help with the process. As for the guy in Grindr, some people hurl insults as a way to make themselves feel better. This can be another indicator of low self-esteem. You guys might actually be in same boat and not know it. A healthy individual answers with a "no, thank you," if not interested.
Not everyone can build up self-esteem on their own. Consider self-help books or counseling to help with the process. As for the guy in Grindr, some people hurl insults as a way to make themselves feel better. This can be another indicator of low self-esteem. You guys might actually be in same boat and not know it. A healthy individual answers with a "no, thank you," if not interested.
Harke the Boeotarch
Dreams Wash Away
Forget about the relationship for now. Go out and have a good time.