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Relationships and introductions

wastedtime

wastedtime

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Last night my BF and I went out to dinner with his parents, for his Dad's Birthday. His parents are wonderful, have always accepted him, and me. When talking about us they refer to us as "the boys". As in "I was just asking the boys if they wanted to come over ".

Last night while at the resturant, we ran into someone S's dad knew from work. S's Dad introduced us as, " this is my wife "Mary" and these are our boys". It seemed like a completely natural intro as I think they really do think of me as a part of the family.

But it made me wonder, how do you like to be introduced as a couple. I am often torn as I do not feel everyone needs an explaination of our relationship but I also do not like to be introduced as "his friend". Or worse, ignored and not introduced at all.
 
wastedtime said:
Last night my BF and I went out to dinner with his parents, for his Dad's Birthday. His parents are wonderful, have always accepted him, and me. When talking about us they refer to us as "the boys". As in "I was just asking the boys if they wanted to come over ".

Last night while at the resturant, we ran into someone S's dad knew from work. S's Dad introduced us as, " this is my wife "Mary" and these are our boys". It seemed like a completely natural intro as I think they really do think of me as a part of the family.

But it made me wonder, how do you like to be introduced as a couple. I am often torn as I do not feel everyone needs an explaination of our relationship but I also do not like to be introduced as "his friend". Or worse, ignored and not introduced at all.
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I like boyfriend, personally, but I wouldn't want to be introduced as "our boys" because it would might make someone think you were brothers.
 
Never really had given a thought about that... Boyfriend seems fine to me. Husband also would do fine, I guess, but straight people still are inclined to get kinda shocked by the term (they usually think that "a husband" implies "a wife").

But, more than that, I remember that all the times we were introduced to somebody it was done simply by our names. "This is A. and J.", and that was it. No further worries or explanations about what we are and so. It never bothered me.

And about your cause, I do agree with altlover85 that "our boys" might sound like you were brothers. Maybe if there was something like "This is S, my son, and that is wastedtime, they are our boys" it would be implicit that you were lovers. Or not, but at least would make clear that you aren't brothers.
 
Husband also would do fine, I guess, but straight people still are inclined to get kinda shocked by the term

I wouldn't have a problem using husband if/when we were married. We aren't (yet)

"our boys" might sound like you were brothers. I guess I never thought about that. S's family are completely Italian, dark hair, eyes and more olive skin, whereas I am blonde/blue eyed and fair skinned. So I guess it didn't occur to me to think brothers.
 
wastedtime said:
S's family are completely Italian, dark hair, eyes and more olive skin, whereas I am blonde/blue eyed and fair skinned. So I guess it didn't occur to me to think brothers.
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You hadn't told us that! ;) If I knew that, I probably also wouldn't think of you as brothers.
 
wastedtime said:
Husband also would do fine, I guess, but straight people still are inclined to get kinda shocked by the term

I wouldn't have a problem using husband if/when we were married. We aren't (yet)

"our boys" might sound like you were brothers. I guess I never thought about that. S's family are completely Italian, dark hair, eyes and more olive skin, whereas I am blonde/blue eyed and fair skinned. So I guess it didn't occur to me to think brothers.
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Even with that you could be adopted. I'm adopted and I look nothing like my mom, but she's still my mom. But anyway, I don't want to hijack the thread about you two being seen as brothers when I know you're not.

I'm sure once people see you and your bf interacting, they'll know you aren't brothers, but instead are boyfriends.
 
Assuming the guy is a close friend, he probably knew that the guys son was gay, I know all of my parents friends know, so I think it is a compliment, I think its a nice term, very inclusive, I doubt he would be confused that they had had another grown up kid since he last met!

As for what I normally use / like, I guess boyfriend, I think husband sounds pretentious to me, unless you are actually married, but if not its a bit to much.
 
The only guy I have ever dated that was older than me (and only by three years; he was 24 when I was 21) once introduced me to his brothers as his "partner" when we were only dating casually. I remember it was maybe only a little over a month after we first met and struck a huge nerve. Not only because I realized right then and there that what we thought we were to each other was wrong, but because were in two totally different places in life. I was his "partner" and he was my friend and coworker who would smush with me after drinks on weekend nights and the morning after. To me, that-did not-a-relationship-make.

I told his brothers I preferred the term "fuck puppet".
 
Accepting and wonderful parents of your bf is great in and of itself. "The Boys" is kind of a cute way to introduce both of you without using the "friend" intro that you don't like.

^^^^^ Although that "fuck puppet" term does have its place...hilarious!
 
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