Religion and relationships

[Perfidiosity]

Do you think it's wrong of me to automatically rule out going out with any guy that believes in god or is religious in any way? I feel like it really limits the field but at the same time how can I respect a grown man who has an imaginary friend and doesn't have the independence to think for himself? Is anyone else like me? How is it working out? Is there a way to just agree to disagree?

 

[HunterM]

It is not wrong. You are an adult. This is your life. You need to control what comes in and out of your life. It is possible to just agree to disagree. It would work in a relationship if only you and your date both have a high tolerance of accepting disagreements without losing respect for each other. You both recognize each person has different point of view. You both respect (don't have to agree) people's opinions/perspectives that are different than your own.

Reading what you wrote, "...how can I respect a grown man who has an imaginary friend and doesn't have the independence to think for himself?" I don't think you can be in a "just agree to disagree" relationship when it comes to religion and politics. Religion often shapes one's political view. It's not for you.

 

[Willie Boy]

Do you think it's wrong of me to automatically rule out going out with any guy that believes in god or is religious in any way? I feel like it really limits the field but at the same time how can I respect a grown man who has an imaginary friend and doesn't have the independence to think for himself? Is anyone else like me? How is it working out? Is there a way to just agree to disagree?

Is it wrong to rule out dating someone who believes in treating others the way he would like to be treated? Is it wrong to judge someone based on a childish notion that one's own personal beliefs are the be all and end all to the Universe?

No, it isn't exactly wrong..... Neither is it right. To block out a majority of people based on your own misconceptions of what you think they believe is quite laughable.

 

[KaraBulut]

Do you think it's wrong of me to automatically rule out going out with any guy that believes in god or is religious in any way?

It depends on whether you want to be in a relationship.

If only 5-7% of are gay and of that 5-7%, you're going to automatically eliminate the guys who believe in god, then you've just cut out most of the prospects.

 

[vforvendetta]

No, it's not wrong - I have a fairly low tolerance for any sort of religious frevor personally, although I can deal with light beliefs. My biggest issues with dating a religious guy is that I fear they may have some sort of cognitive dissonance stemming from their religious beliefs - I can't date someone who I think may hate themselves inside.

 

[kallipolis]

I can't date someone who I think may hate themselves inside.

Guessing what other people may, or may not think of themselves is a mug's game that speaks more to your wild imagination, than it does of other people's perception of self.

 

[maxpowr9]

I've had quite a few closet case Republican Christians hit on me before. Religion nor politics are a deal breaker for me at all unless it boarders on the fundamental side (malleable not rigid). What IS a deal breaker for me is someone who is not comfortable with their sexuality and is afraid of expressing it which is often the case with the aforementioned person.

 

[kallipolis]

I've had quite a few closet case Republican Christians hit on me before. Religion nor politics are a deal breaker for me at all unless it boarders on the fundamental side (malleable not rigid). What IS a deal breaker for me is someone who is not comfortable with their sexuality and is afraid of expressing it which is often the case with the aforementioned person.

This is a rather common challenge for many mature gay men when being faced with a younger man, who is still attempting to break out of their closet, and needs our patience and experience to assist them break free from their self incarceration.

 

[nfgrls]

this is something I have dealt with I have never been a relgious person my whole life but my partner is a Christian. Though I dont share his beliefs I respect him and other people who share his beliefs, not everyone thinks the same way. Moving in together was a fun thing with his mother not beleaving in couples living together till marriage but um ya not like thats ever going to happen in Florida

 

[rjmrjm21]

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. I don't think I want to date another atheist because I have found them to be extremely intolerant, in denial, delusional, and very angry people. I think you need to work on your tolerance. That's like asking, if you would be able to respect a Jewish guy because he is Jewish? Or would you be able to respect a black guy because he is black? Since you have a problem accepting people for who they are then you should NOT date a religious person. Why not just date someone who is like you?

 

[makeurowndstny]

I believe in God and I believe in Jesus, I don't believe in organized relgion however. I would be upset if someone ruled me out because of it only because I don't push it on people and I don't expect people to have the same beliefs. My personal beliefs are my own. I am just stating how I would feel. I think you should give someone a chance and not count them out because of this

 

[bankside]

Having found happiness with another free-thinking skeptic, I wouldn't have it any other way. Or rather, since the question is settled in my case, and I won't have it any other way, I don't know. I can't imagine how he could be the person I know and respect and still take religious notions seriously. If he were to decide there were any validity to religion, it would likely be for reasons that could persuade me as well. But by the same token, if he decided he could tame the unicorn tied to the apple tree in our back yard, then I could probably ride it!

 

[Perfidiosity]

I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. I don't think I want to date another atheist because I have found them to be extremely intolerant, in denial, delusional, and very angry people. I think you need to work on your tolerance. That's like asking, if you would be able to respect a Jewish guy because he is Jewish? Or would you be able to respect a black guy because he is black? Since you have a problem accepting people for who they are then you should NOT date a religious person. Why not just date someone who is like you?

Wow from someone speaking about tolerance you sure seem to be pretty intolerant of athiests and pretty angry as well. Unlike being Jewish or Black, you choose to believe in a god. A person cannot just change her race. Not a very good comparison. And I've met my share of Atheist Jews so don't even pull that one. Its pretty bad that you're pretty much everything you're accusing me of being! Christian hypocrisy at it again!

Oh and I am FAR from a mean-spirited person!

 

[HunterM]

^ There you go. You just answered your own question. There is no such thing as "to just agree to disagree" for you. You should not date a religious person. You should date someone who is like you.

 

[Perfidiosity]

The problem is that I am always attracted to those who are the polar opposite of me!

 

[nsguy2]

The problem is that I am always attracted to those who are the polar opposite of me!

If you're attracted to people for whom you have no respect, I'm not sure where you should turn other than to take a look at yourself.

You may not be able to change the type your attracted to but you can change your level of acceptance of others.

Good luck.

 

[TX-Beau]

Your choice for your life is your choice. No it's not bigotry, it's a prejudice.

There are a lot of people who set far more arbitrary standards in who they date for one reason or another. People exclude possible partners for a whole lot of reasons - including money, beauty, and ethnicity.

For me it would depend on the religion and the person, a Christmas Christian who's Episcopalian wouldn't bother me, but a devout Southern Baptist would.

 

[TX-Beau]

No it's not. From your own link.

A bigot is a person who believes that his own race, religion or social group is superior to others and has strong, often unfounded opinions about another group of people which cause him to treat the members of that group with disrespect and dislike. History is full of examples of bigotry, ranging from extreme violence on the part of the Nazis to the much quieter, lower-key dislike that ethnic minorities and homosexuals still face in some parts of the United States.

A person is prejudiced when she has a negative opinion about something before she has all the facts. This opinion may be applied to a group of people, as is the case with bigotry, or to anything else. For example, a person who has never read the "Twilight" books may be prejudiced against them because of their popularity among young adult readers. She may choose never to read them because of this prejudice. Prejudice against minority groups is common.


...emphasis mine...

 

[sixthson]

Is there a way to just agree to disagree?

For you? Doubtful.

There are lots of God haters here at JUB. Take your pick.
Good luck with the single life.

 

[TX-Beau]

I’ve never seen anyone in here who ”hates god,” I have seen a lot of religious guys who like to throw out names like “militant atheist” because they didn’t like or didn’t want to consider questions asked of them.

It’s not an either or proposition, I don’t believe in anyone’s god. What would be the point of hating an imaginary thing?