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Relying on grindr, tinder and okcupid for dates

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NYClover54

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Is this bad ? I know this topic has been hit over the head multiple times but ugh how else do you meet people besides bars and clubs ! As a person with few friends, from where I live, it's very difficult meeting people who aren't on grindr, tinder or okcupid. I live on Staten Island so are there any gay organizations that center around science, the out doors or even gaming that I can join in NYC ?
 
Yes just search online, go to the gay center in Chelsea or try joining a gay group that might be outside your comfort zone but might have individuals with similar interests.
 
Not even.

I've been a member of the Gay Photography Club in NYC for ten years.

There's also a shit ton of gay sports leagues, arts groups, and the like.
 
NYClover54 said:
Is this bad ? I know this topic has been hit over the head multiple times but ugh how else do you meet people besides bars and clubs ! As a person with few friends, from where I live, it's very difficult meeting people who aren't on grindr, tinder or okcupid. I live on Staten Island so are there any gay organizations that center around science, the out doors or even gaming that I can join in NYC ?
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I'm from Staten Island too. Not very openly gay-friendly here. No biggie to me cause I'm married and not out but would love to hook up with someone however there's about one degree of separation here and somebody knows somebody you know. Like those hot young guys at my gym may know my son - not good for me right now. Would live the opportunity on a business trip though - you know - the 100 mile rule.
 
I've joined a gay comic book club. It's fun but I haven't struck gold yet dating wise. That's ok though because as I said, it's fun.

I'll keep Grindr though. Haven't struck gold there yet either but it is easier to find guys there
 
Another NYer here; online dating apps IMO, while convenient have a double edged effect of making people less sociable. They even have an unintended and unhealthy effect of causing you to not feel good enough (everyone is pursuing the 1-5% of really good looking guys on these apps and sites)

At least that might be the case among many 20 somethings who are furiously swiping left and right on Tinder looking for dates online when they're all around, sometime right next to them. Put the phone down and join a club, search through meetup, go to The Center in the Village, go to the gym, go to a cafe and look friendly and approachable. Make acquaintances and friends and meet guys through them Meeting people and getting to know them in person is still the best way, I think at least, at finding a good match.

Even though they have recently changed the way we date relying on apps and online dating sites, especially when living in one of the biggest gay meccas in the world, is handicapping yourself and gives you an unrealistic view of just how much work and time is needed to find the kind of guy you're looking for. It's not as easy as a few click or taps on your app unless you look like a model. Even then you still need to get offline and meet people.
 
Bars and apps in NYC are mostly useless to find dates but hookups yes. Join the Gay Geeks of NY or Out Professionals New York. You will find your niche of science, trivia, art junkies. They hold regular events, weekend hangouts in bars etc. It's a good way to expand your network of gay friends. Gay Geeks has a lot of members that live in the Astoria and Brooklyn gayborhoods.
 
I disagree.

OK Cupid is a great place to find actual dates.

I'll even vote for Tinder. Grindr and Scruff make casual sex so easy, that gays looking for hookups exclusively don't tend to put as much time into the two apps I mentioned above. At least in my experience. I've gone on a number of dates from those.

With Tinder, yea, I'd generally have to talk and ask what they were looking for, but guys have dated me from there.
 
LuckysRevenge said:
Yes just search online, go to the gay center in Chelsea or try joining a gay group that might be outside your comfort zone but might have individuals with similar interests.
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I went to the center today it looks great! There're so many organizations like 20something, gay geeks of NY, natural history group, etc. Anyone apart of these or other groups?
 
RaKroma said:
Bars and apps in NYC are mostly useless to find dates but hookups yes. Join the Gay Geeks of NY or Out Professionals New York. You will find your niche of science, trivia, art junkies. They hold regular events, weekend hangouts in bars etc. It's a good way to expand your network of gay friends. Gay Geeks has a lot of members that live in the Astoria and Brooklyn gayborhoods.
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Good groups to look into. Also look research gay pickup sports and GLBT sports leagues. They list a few at Pier 40 and Chelsea Piers. Oh and go to Brooklyn Boulders. There's a lot of cute, friendly and adventurous gay/bi guys there who live in the gaybrohoods (Murrary Hill, East Village, Hoboken, Williamsburg, etc..) It's like meeting people at the gym only for rock climbers. A guy took me out on a date there once.
 
NYClover54 said:
Is this bad ? I know this topic has been hit over the head multiple times but ugh how else do you meet people besides bars and clubs ! As a person with few friends, from where I live, it's very difficult meeting people who aren't on grindr, tinder or okcupid. I live on Staten Island so are there any gay organizations that center around science, the out doors or even gaming that I can join in NYC ?
Click to expand...

Not only is it bad, it is sad. Very sad. That someone has nothing in their life whatsoever that they are forced to find dates worthless "hook-up" sites....... That is pathetic.
 
Yes I am. That site is incredible at what it does, asking a serious of questions to determine compatibility on dating. I know numerous people (straight and gay) who have met significant others on there.

Most guys who want to hook up will go for apps that are more GPS based.
 
Sounds just like eHarmony or Match.com. Even those are pathetic. Anytime you're life is so empty and void of interaction with other humans that you have to rely on computers to find you someone....... Well you get the picture.

What is it with this world and relying on machines/computers to do everything for you? Next we'll be hearing in the news about some scientist who has designed a chip that will shit for us too. #-o
 
People have options these days.

I think it's messed up to HAVE to rely on those exclusively, but I go out and meet strangers every single day of the week and I still love that a site like Okay Cupid can filter out folks I'd rather not date.

The guys who are misogynist, anti-fem, anti-trans, whose political leanings I find damaging. A computer or app allows me to filter them out without wasting money or time on dinner. I'm totally on board with that.

Because it absolutely sucks when the "nice" guy with the cute smile on the street I asked out to lunch turns into MorrisseyX over conversation. Fuck. THAT.

OKCupid's enemy percentage is a work of art. I've answered my questions to keep all the religious and intolerant at bay. I've been a huge fan of this site since it suggested two of my close friends as matches, years ago.
 
Don't knock it. I met my bf on Grindr (for a date, not a hookup) and we've been together for 3 years now.

I think the problem is that too many guys are using these apps just to pursue the 'hottest' pics they can find, instead of actually wanting to get to know somebody, and then act all hurt when they get rejected by the profile with the torso photo :\

Online dating isn't hard, you get shit dates no matter where or how you find them. People who act as if it's impossible are really just making things difficult for themselves.
 
I met my partner in the real world and we've been together for 10 years and counting.
 
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