Relying on grindr, tinder and okcupid for dates

[nightofhunters]

I met my partner in the real world and we've been together for 10 years and counting.

Good for you.

You have nearly 50,000 posts on an internet forum, so are you really in a position to be getting judgmental on how the internet isn't part of the 'real world'?

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

I met my partner in the real world and we've been together for 10 years and counting.

My parents met in high school and have been together for 37 years. Should I then assume that anyone who hasn't bay in high school can't possibly last long term?

Or should I realize that's just ONE couple's story?

 

[JPGhost]

Next..dating site that only allow genital photos.

 

[Willie Boy]

Good for you.

You have nearly 50,000 posts on an internet forum, so are you really in a position to be getting judgmental on how the internet isn't part of the 'real world'?

You completely missed the point which is that even though the internet can be useful, even fun, it can never take the place of actually getting out and truly meeting people as far as socialization goes. You may have people you call friends here on JUB, but do you really know anything about them if you haven't actually met them? All they really are is a bunch of words typed on the screen.....

My parents met in high school and have been together for 37 years. Should I then assume that anyone who hasn't bay in high school can't possibly last long term?

Or should I realize that's just ONE couple's story?

You also missed the point. See above. But also add the next part: Do you really want to let a machine tell you who to spend time with? Or would you rather get out and get to know people? And from those people you make friends....... and of those friends you find close friends..... And somewhere in all that you find someone you really enjoy being around, someone who makes you laugh, who gives you strength when you feel weak, someone who understands you and wants to be around you in the same way. It does take time, but it is and always will be the best way. People can always make things work, if they want it enough.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I don't use grindr and probably am one of the farthest gay men in the U.S. from "being a fan of it."

But, that said, it's hard to imagine from what Willie says that he has any idea how it actually works, if he thinks it "tells you who to talk with", and it's about doing nothing but talking over the void of the internet via text with someone for prolonged periods of time and "never taking it into the real world." Grindr is pretty close to the opposite, on both counts.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

See above. But also add the next part: Do you really want to let a machine tell you who to spend time with? Or would you rather get out and get to know people?

I think you're missing the point.

The machine isn't telling me who to spend time with. I'm telling the machine.

And it's finding people with like interests.

Once again, it's not either or.

I go out constantly and meet people both in person AND via apps. Best of both worlds.

You've always come off as closed minded to me. The benefit of an app life Okay Cupid is that I'd sense this early. In real life, I'd possibly waste time on you if I was attracted. That's the benefit of apps over "IRL."

Meeting someone first IRL has an advantage of being able to show actual chemistry up front.

They both have pros and cons.

 

[Willie Boy]

I think you're missing the point.

The machine isn't telling me who to spend time with. I'm telling the machine.

And it's finding people with like interests.

Yes and no. You are telling it what you want. The best it can do is find similar words in the profiles of others and suggest them, whether or not they actually have those attributes or not is often up for debate. The point here is that meeting a person and getting to know them, often in the midst of the above mentioned interests is far more accurate than trusting in a machine that trusts every word written by strangers.

Once again, it's not either or.

I go out constantly and meet people both in person AND via apps. Best of both worlds.

Except this isn't in keeping with the premise of the OP, wherein one relies solely on said sites to find a date. As I said previously, there is nothing wrong with using the internet, it can be a helpful tool. But relying solely on it/computers for everything is very bad.

You've always come off as closed minded to me. The benefit of an app life Okay Cupid is that I'd sense this early.

That's too bad. But it proves my point. You really can't get to know someone over the internet, not like you can meeting them in real life. meh, your loss.

In real life, I'd possibly waste time on you if I was attracted. That's the benefit of apps over "IRL."

So, getting a false reading online and being turned off is better than getting to really know the person? By your own suggestion one shouldn't waste time on you...... Except I suspect that opinion didn't quite come across as you intended it. Unless you truly are as closed minded as it makes you out to be.

Meeting someone first IRL has an advantage of being able to show actual chemistry up front.

They both have pros and cons.

The first line of this bit is basically agreeing with what I've already said. You have yet to sell me on the second part, because all you've shown here is that it has far too many cons to be all that reliable as a source for anything more than "hooking up". Sure, there is the rare occurrence where someone lucks out, but as the pre digital clock age saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Sorry, but until actual evidence is proffered I will continue to rely on experiences of people I know over words typed by faceless complete strangers over the internet. Sorry that brings me across as closed minded to you. To most people that's just simple application of logic and reason. To each his own.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

Yes and no. You are telling it what you want. The best it can do is find similar words in the profiles of others and suggest them, whether or not they actually have those attributes or not is often up for debate. The point here is that meeting a person and getting to know them, often in the midst of the above mentioned interests is far more accurate than trusting in a machine that trusts every word written by strangers.

Once again, it's not either or.


Except this isn't in keeping with the premise of the OP, wherein one relies solely on said sites to find a date. As I said previously, there is nothing wrong with using the internet, it can be a helpful tool. But relying solely on it/computers for everything is very bad.


That's too bad. But it proves my point. You really can't get to know someone over the internet, not like you can meeting them in real life. meh, your loss.


So, getting a false reading online and being turned off is better than getting to really know the person? By your own suggestion one shouldn't waste time on you...... Except I suspect that opinion didn't quite come across as you intended it. Unless you truly are as closed minded as it makes you out to be.


The first line of this bit is basically agreeing with what I've already said. You have yet to sell me on the second part, because all you've shown here is that it has far too many cons to be all that reliable as a source for anything more than "hooking up". Sure, there is the rare occurrence where someone lucks out, but as the pre digital clock age saying goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Sorry, but until actual evidence is proffered I will continue to rely on experiences of people I know over words typed by faceless complete strangers over the internet. Sorry that brings me across as closed minded to you. To most people that's just simple application of logic and reason. To each his own.

Love how you speak with authority on a website you know nothing about.

 

[nightofhunters]

You completely missed the point which is that even though the internet can be useful, even fun, it can never take the place of actually getting out and truly meeting people as far as socialization goes. You may have people you call friends here on JUB, but do you really know anything about them if you haven't actually met them? All they really are is a bunch of words typed on the screen.....

Yeah ok... I'm going to need some help with whatever 'point' it is you're trying to make here.

You do understand that dating apps and sites are simply a point of contact to then go out and meet the person? I don't really get what your problem is. If technology is so scary to you then nobody is forcing you to use it, so why are you coming in here and putting everyone else down? What makes you think that your experiences are more valid than anyone else's?

Good for you for finding a partner, really. But who cares how you met him? There are a lot of ways to meet people these days, and you don't get to decide which are 'right' or 'wrong', sorry.

I have absolutely nothing to 'prove' to you, but my original post specifically mentioned me being in a long term relationship with somebody I met through a social app... And I'm sure there are plenty of others around here too. So yeah, I honestly have no idea why you are coming in here ranting about things that don't even concern you. You did things differently, great, well done.

 

[thewiz]

When I moved to DC in 2005 and was coming out, I first joined a gay touch football league. DC has tons of sports -- everything from darts to boccie to swimming to rowing...etc., etc. I met a lot of guys and it made it much easier to go out and get involved in other activities (or find dates). I found myself getting invited to house parties, pre-gaming, and after sport functions. You don't have to be particularly athletic or good, either!

If you like theater, most have docent programs that you can host tours, assist at events, or represent them at other functions. The hubby wore underwear and represented Arena Theater at the Pride Festival this year along with 30 other guys (and we got two free tickets to a show we wanted to see!) There are gay men's chorus' in most cities should you like to sing (DC has a very spectacular one that will be going to Cuba this summer and representing LGBT). Volunteer at Pride -- I'll be there in two weeks representing Capital Pride's board (NYC sent a bunch of volunteers down to our pride last weekend). Pride can be as busy or as easy as you'd like but they take a lot of volunteers doing everything from helping direct traffic at parades to picking up debris after the event. Many churches have begun outreach groups. I was honored to speak at the Interfaith Service during Pride and it represented a number of faiths and backgrounds -- everything from Spiritual to Sikh to Muslim and beyond. Or volunteer at one of the Gay Men's Health Clinics; most are in need of help for things like clerical, outreach, or even assisting at testing during events.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Love how you speak with authority on a website you know nothing about.

Website, subject, topic, controversy, issue.. can substitute a lot of things.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

Yes and no. You are telling it what you want. The best it can do is find similar words in the profiles of others and suggest them, whether or not they actually have those attributes or not is often up for debate.

You clearly have no knowledge of how the site works at all. It's funny hearing you speak as if you're actually informed on the subject, and seeing the misinformation right in front of me.

 

[Willie Boy]

You clearly have no knowledge of how the site works at all. It's funny hearing you speak as if you're actually informed on the subject, and seeing the misinformation right in front of me.

So, you don't fill out a questionaire/information form? That info isn't then run through the computer where it is matched with the info of others users to find a match? The individual(s) whose data is most "compatible" with yours (has the most similarities) is not then forwarded to you as potential dates?

How do they do it then, magic fairies who sprinkle the forms with their fairy dust so the right one magically congregate?

 

[Willie Boy]

Yeah ok... I'm going to need some help with whatever 'point' it is you're trying to make here.

You do understand that dating apps and sites are simply a point of contact to then go out and meet the person? I don't really get what your problem is. If technology is so scary to you then...

Nobody said anything about technology being scary. What do they teach kids in school any more?

The point is that so many are in such a hurry to give computers control of every little facet of decision making in their lives. People are so dependent on computers they can't even do for themselves anymore, just ask the computer to do it. Is that really the kind of existence y'alls want? Want to spend a dollar to try to win millions? Let a computer choose the numbers for you. Don't understand an idea? Let a computer tell you what it is. Don't have someone to date? Let a computer tell you who to go out with based on its understanding of human emotion.

No matter how you look at it nothing will ever beat human intuition, except people no longer have that, they've let it atrophy because "its so much easier to let the computer do the thinking and feeling instead".

 

[LuckysRevenge]

So, you don't fill out a questionaire/information form? That info isn't then run through the computer where it is matched with the info of others users to find a match? The individual(s) whose data is most "compatible" with yours (has the most similarities) is not then forwarded to you as potential dates?

How do they do it then, magic fairies who sprinkle the forms with their fairy dust so the right one magically congregate?

You previously said something completely different.

Anyway, you answer questions. You choose which answers you find desirable/acceptable. The website then develops a compatibility rating based on questions answered and answers desired in a potential mate.

It filters out the people you would never date much more effectively and more quickly than walking into a bar.

Ultimately you can choose to message or meet whoever you want.