Revenge (really angry)

[kyless85]

Hey I'm just really angry and feel powerless, that's why i'm posting this, and advice would be useful. Well some retard added me to his msn account, and started asking me if i was gay (i'm in the closet) and after a while i told him i was, but that i was very confused, and that i didn't want anything with him. I was really nice, he said he liked me, and i thanked him, but said i wasn't looking for anything.

Well he's got a bunch of queeny friends, and he told them. they're like 3, and now the other three are behind me, I hate that. Anyway, one of them is friends with many people i know, and a friend of mine (a girl), told me he told her about him, and then also about me!! what's up with that guy, enough troubles i've had with keeping everything in the closet, for some asshole, i don't even know (i have only seen him), to be talking about me.

I'm bi, so it's really annoying, i'm not planning on coming out of the closet, who is he to pull me out. I'm really really angry, and i've got lots of balls, if i get angry at someone he better be careful. What can i do to humilliate him in a way he won't want to talk about me again?? Thanks.

 

[Aflute04]

Be the bigger person, walk away. Be better than he is. Maybe you should try to figure out your sexuality before you go and ruin his life (you say you're bi, but your profile says you're gay...). Look at this as a blessing in the midst of some fucktard who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut...

Okay, knowing that you probably aren't going to do that, then if I were you. I'd confront him. There really isnt a need to get 'back' at him. Thats childish and you are 21 (or so your profile says)... Time to act like a man. Talk with him ask him why he did what he did and let him know your reasons for wanting to stay in the closet and yadda yadda.

Good luck.

 

[Smitho]

Screw it all and come out of the closet?

Don't get back at him, hes doing you a favour, come out of the closet!

You say you have lots of balls, prove it and come out. The airs much cleaner out here and you won't look back!

Good luck

 

[kyless85]

i'm not pretending, i'm bi, and even if it sounds presumptious i really really like my life. everything's going perfect, and all works well. i'm not willing to risk that, and i don't feel the need to come out. i know you'll say my true friends wouldn't care, but i'm very social, and know lots of people, and i like that, having my best friends, and other friends scattered everywhere. i don't want anything to change. except maybe find love.

and it's not like i have a relationship with him, i haven't ever spoken to him.

 

[kyless85]

lying is extremely different from protecting yourself, also mexico's wealthy are not the most accepting society in the world

 

[Smitho]

Hi Kyless,

You really like your life, except someone is talking truthfully about you being gay, and you are worried it is going to come out, and by the sounds of it, with your mutual friends it is going to come out, and unfortunatly for you hes telling the truth and he knows it, so weather hes being malicious or just a dick head, is unimportant, but it sounds like its going to come out anyway.

I would be tempted if I was you to consider coming out, don't just write a reply that I can't, but actually think about it, carefully and privatly. You are worried how people will react, everyone is, before they come out, but we all get over it. There are loads of cliches out there, like good friends stick around etc, and they are true, real friends don't care. I am not going to say its all easy, but at some time in your life, if you want any real quality of life, you have to be honest and come out and it seems that your indiscretion of MSN has forced your hand some what and made it now.

It will not be all plain sailing, but from my experience and the vast majority of others on this board it is worth it, and you will feel alot better when you have done it.

Take care

 

[sebastian-k]

Revenge is always destructive for both sides.

Move on.

Something similar happened to me, so i can imagine how you feel. So my suggestion is:

- About your friend: tell her what you feel, if you like boys and girls tell her that, and tell her that this situation is annoying, and you wouldn't like that that rumour keep speading (not beacuse if true or not, but nobody needs a moron publishing oneself very personal sexual life, likes or dislikes)

- About the annoying guys: Talk to the one that started all and let him see that you're really angry about what he is doing. Put perfectly clear that you haven't done nothing to him to act like that, also put clear that you don't want nothing with him or his friends.... Hmmm i'm not sure if it's correct to write this but, well i'm a bit agressive and badass so a punch or two can help if he's not smart enough to understand your words.

Calm down, yes it's very annoying, but you know? life is plenty of morons that you will met sooner or later.

Goodluck!


ps: btw i'm using "morons" beacuse i'm trying to be politically correct.

 

[Brijan]

Someone has to tell you this, and it looks like it will be me.

If you are looking for revenge on the person who caused this problem look no further than yourself.

You told him.
You decided to tell some "retard" that you are gay. ("Bi" whatever; details.)

If you really wanted to stay in the closet you shouldn't have told him anything. And you especially shouldn't have told him on MSN where he:
a) might save the conversation as "proof"
b) might take a screen shot as "proof"

Information a commodity.
When you give it away, you lose some control over it.
I guess you should consider this a lesson learned the hard way.

Try your best to turn this to your advantage. Maybe you can become friends with him, or some of his friends, and discover more about your gay/bi side. If they are out and part of "Mexico's wealthy" who "are not the most accepting society in the world" it may prove to be a safe avenue to grow as a person.

 

[racer2438]

No revenge, brings out the bad side of people and it never ends. Be a man hold your head high tell him what you think of what he said, very to the point. Dont give him a chance to respond and walk away.

Try to come to terms with your self and talk to friends who you trust and get there vibes. Talk to the one girl that the asswipe outed you to and have a simple talk and let her know how you feel. If your bi say it.

The moron who did this is the lowest piecs of shit there is and you dont need to go to his level. In the long run you come out better and he will always be a asswipe. Let people know how he's a gossip quenn and to watch for him.


you'll be fine. But your better off taking controll of this than anyone else. lat it come from you.

good luck

 

[Aflute04]

you like your life blah, blah... Then you should have been better at keeping your secrect life...secrect.

Now, I've sortof changed my mind. I agree with Brijan and truth be told, if he wouldn't have just said it... I would have.


You can't do anything but move on. There is no need to try and hide. Just go with it and learn from this experience. I hope this has taught you to never be this foolish on MSN again...

 

[Smitho]

^^ Well said, excellent post.

 

[luminum]

I agree with Brijan. If staying in the closet was so important, why did you tell a complete stranger on the internet, expecially when you have no idea if this stranger could be someone you know?

So now there's nothing you can do. You outed yourself to someone and in turn outed you out to people you knew.

You can't turn back time, so what are you going to do about it? Has the world as you know and love it crashed all around you?

 

[dfwjacker]

kyless85,

Just ignore the guys trying to pressure you to come out. They need to mind their own damn business. Sadly, they probably have a lot in common with the asshole that's trying to out you. They think they can decide what's good for other people.

What you should do if anyone else tells you that he told them this, is Just say that he's talking about you because you refused his advances. That's pretty much the truth. Don't worry about getting even with him. Even though it sounds like a good idea, it's not worth the effort. But I wouldn't hold it against you if you bump into him somewhere and just happen to kick his ass.

 

[3nipples]

Revenge isn't going to turn back the clock and it won't solve anything, instead, it will just make it worse.

Besides (to paraphrase Brijan above), it's your own damn fault.

Put away your anger and start using your brains to do some damage control. If you want to continue to lie to your friends, then just laugh it off publicly as something you said to yank the other guy's chain (he has lots of queenie friends???) and then let them see you romantically involved with a woman.

Think Hugh Grant. He let himself be arrested with a prostitute sucking his dick in public and all the persistent gay rumours just dried up.

I don't know how happy you will be in the long run living a lie, but it's your choice.

 

[probeteam1]

The one or two times people I came out to passed the message on before I was ready, I took them aside and made my displeasure known. Nothing dramatic, I just said that I intended to handle things at my own speed, and that if things got fucked up because of their meddling, then we both knew who was responsible. No need for passive-aggressive revenge when I can just yell and curse until one of us feels better. Oddly, this really seemed to bother them and they'd fall all over themselves apologizing. Maybe they thought I'd thank them when I found out? Who knows?

Don't bother trying to humiliate him so badly that he won't talk to you. Just stop talking to him, and he'll take the hint. If he keeps outing you, emphasize the fact that you've pretty much never met this clown in your life, so how could he know more about you than your friends? Ask why he even cares.

While I don't personally agree with your coming-out plans (that is, you seme to plan never to come out), I do feel that you shouldn't come out until you're ready, and you are obviously not. It's not a decision other people should be allowed to make for you.
And on that note, if you don't plan to come out, maybe you shouldn't identifiably out yourself online? Your situation woule be a lot simpler if this just hadn't happened.

 

[Aflute04]

I don't think that anyone is pressuring him to come out of the closet. Most of us are smart enough to realize that his closet door is starting to open on its own and that it's his fault.

Now I know this is a risk speaking for the other people who posted here, but I do not belive most of us would chose this situation for him if we had to, but he got himself into this mess and we are just trying to let him know what the real deal is. Don't try to sugarcoat things because thats just gonna make this bad situation worse. While I do not believe you need to 'come out', I do believe that you are pretty much out as it is because you were not careful enough to protect the your sexual orientation (which I'm still confused on and I think you are too...).

Point blank, you made a mistake, now you have to own up to it. We all know you are probably going to deny it, which is fine. I think the point of most peoples post is to be careful and don't let this happen again.

 

[iosif2]

Amigo. NO TE VENGAS!. Sorry about the double meaning but it fits. Revenge sucks buddy. In your case the jerks with loose lips will see it as overkill for his indiscretion. You can't change him by punching out his lights. He will just want to vilify you more. Or his friends will. They might be queeny but it doesn't mean they will cower to you. You are probably more angry at yourself anyway and only want to redirect it at this idiot. You were both wrong , so kick youself in the ass instead for your mistake and move on from there. Like so many before have said, if you get a chance be up front with him and reprimand him only, but leave it at that.
A lesson learned too late, and fortunately I've learned it, is that just because someone is gay or bi, doesn't mean they can be trusted to keep your secret, like a member of a secret fraternity. You will find that many gay men will be happy to out you quicker than straight friends who know and respect you. Coming out takes various forms. You will need to address the issue whether or not you are ready for it. The rumors about you will keep circulating even if you deny everything. The seed of doubt has been planted and your integrity is now in question. Be smart about this, gather your thoughts. You don't have to push open the closet door and yell "SURPRISE". If anyone else confronts you, let your level of trust in them guide you about how open you will be. You never have to lie, but you do have the right to let people know it's none of their business. If you don't want people to know, then push them off with a reciprocal question to let them know they were wrong for asking. Suerte mano.

 

[G-Lexington]

If you want to remain in the closet, you have only one option - lie. Lie like a rug. This guy was hitting on you, you were too polite to push him away strongly, he took that to mean you were gay, and now he and his friends won't leave you alone. That's your story - start practicing it until you believe it yourself.

Good luck.

Lex

 

[Just_Believe18]

... is a dish best served cold

 

[Heartbreak]

Maybe by him doing that you'll live a more tranquil life,you never know.