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Revenge? Would you ever do it?

thorne8791 said:
No, I see it. I see it clearly.
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Well, the next time he comes around with his bag o' BS (e.g. "You're the only one who will help me"), please come back to this thread and read:
a) how he does terrible things to hurt you,
b) how you take him back in,
c) how you expect this time will be different,
d) how it's never different and always the same and
e) how you do something to try to revenge for your own mistake in taking him back.. and the cycle starts again.

And if reading this thread doesn't help you break the cycle, then seriously- it is time to get into therapy and start working on yourself.
 
thorne8791 said:
It's over, again. I threw him out last night. After him refusing my need for affection the other night (I was feeling strange after the argument we'd had a couple nights before, so asked him for comfort which he said he wasn't ready for) I started thinking about his behaviour. And last night he took fresh clothes home with him, which was odd because he claimed his only plans were to go to bed and house clean the next day, and he doesn't need freshly laundered clothes for that. I know he had used craigslist before, and after a few minutes of searching I found several ads posted by him while he was living fulltime at my house, looking to fuck women, and he had posted several nudes of himself taken in my own bathroom. When I confronted him about a half hour after I'd dropped him off at his house he already had one of these whores upstairs. He actually laughed that I was upset, and yet again he thought it was so funny that I'd gotten hurt.

So, knowing how he doesn't want anyone knowing he's bi, I stood there like a maniac in the street and as loudly as possible at 2am I let his entire neighborhood know he's a bisexual liar and user. Also came home and immediately posted to Craigslist, in the sections he uses, his picture, his name, and that he's a bisexual liar and user, and a shory recap of the past month. The posts were flagged away after a few minutes but it felt good to do it in the moment.

I am getting worried though, even though I shouldn't care, that he might've hurt himself after I left. His facebook has been deleted, he's not been online at all today, and he's not answering any texts or calls. Thinking maybe that I should call the police to go check on him. Not sure if I should though.
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You are at fault here.
 
You don't advertise/shout to his neighbors about him on his behalf.
Deal with him face to face, and cut all contacts with him if you wish.
 
Tried face to face, he hid behind his locked door, so took my anger out the only other way that could hurt him without getting physical.
 
One question....

Is there any part of your being..even a whisper maybe..that knows you need to turn yourself around?...or that WANTS to do so?

If not..you are on a collision course with a determined fate...and yours will not end well...unless you find that voice....

...even if it is a whisper...you can develop it....it can become a roar....
 
How do I stop getting updates on my his post? This thr ad is beating not even a d ad horse but the rotted carcass.
 
On the top thread toolbar there's an dropdown menu called "Thread Tools". You just select "unsubscribe" from the drop down.
 
Telstra said:
You don't advertise/shout to his neighbors about him on his behalf.
Deal with him face to face, and cut all contacts with him if you wish.
Click to expand...

I'd say that really depends on the neighborhood. Just don't do it. Revenge is like going nuclear... reserved for exceptional situations where the other party both lacks empathy and cannot be shamed.... and you can expect retaliation.
 
Just another update. Got him out of my life for good. I found out a lot more of his direct and well planned out lies, like he'd have me take him some nights to a male weed buddy's house, he said they'd get high, play xbox, and he'd crash on the couch. These nights when it was time for him to exit the car he'd hug me and say I love you. If I was angry or upset with him he would refuse to leave the car unless I said it back, and meant it. Found out the friend doesn't exist, and was instead a woman he'd go to fuck. That's just one example of half a dozen male friends he was lying to me about. He'd have me drive him to these guys houses, and the guys don't exist. They're all women he was fucking.

So after finding out, after having moved all his clothes, towels, and stuff to keep at my home after he finally got evicted from his own home, he was out one night with another woman he was fucking, I found out all his lies when one of these women contacted me, and I destroyed every scrap of clothing and paper he had here, I texted him I'm done with him, sent pics of his shredded clothing, told him that he and his women are garbage, and that I never want to see him again.

So he's gone, two weeks now without any contact, and it's been a fantastic two weeks. My depression and anxiety are gone. The younger guy I'd been seeing during the summer, the one that just vanished on me, is back. We had a serious conversation about why he just dropped me back then, and everything is great with him again. I've met another great guy as well, and am now building a few new friendships with other guys who went through identical situations.

I spent three months loving him, feeding him, getting him into counseling, doing his laundry, sleeping next to him, running him all over every day, dealt with his depression and panic attacks, bought him things to cheer him up, and to find out every word out of his mouth, Every Word, was nothing but a calculated, planned, lie. Any love, any affection, any sympathy I have fkr him died the night I found out.

So that drama is done. Time to move on with better people coming in to my life.
 
thorne8791 said:
...So he's gone, two weeks now without any contact, and it's been a fantastic two weeks....

I spent three months loving him, feeding him, getting him into counseling, doing his laundry, sleeping next to him, running him all over every day, dealt with his depression and panic attacks, bought him things to cheer him up, and to find out every word out of his mouth, Every Word, was nothing but a calculated, planned, lie. Any love, any affection, any sympathy I have fkr him died the night I found out.

So that drama is done. Time to move on with better people coming in to my life.
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He'll be back. You're going to be "Plan B" for a while because you have been so weak in the past.

Expect that he will be back with some sob story about his terrible life, thoughts of suicide and how he needs you.

He's a sociopath. Prepare your strategy now for getting rid of him when he returns again .
 
He's a covert narcissistic abuser, and yes, probably a psychopath as well.

Both guys I'm seeing each said if he ever tries coming back to call them, they each separately said they want to beat the crap out of him...since he left and never came back I've not had the urge, at all, to contact him. I don't miss him, I'm not wondering where he is or if he's ok. It's like finding out all the lies flipped a switch and I just don't care about him anymore.

And after destroying his meager possessions (by doing that it was like I was destroying my connection to him) he has nothing to come back here for. So I don't think, honestly, that he would ever try coming here again.
 
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