I don't post often, but I know you are all excellent commenters and give good advice, so here goes.
Last year (August 2011), I met this guy on OkCupid. On our first date, we really hit it off and had a ton of fun together. Toward the end of the night, he came out and told me that he was surprised that he was even on this date because of the messed up relationship he was in with his boyfriend. He said that he caught his boyfriend cheating on him, basically came home and found him in the shower with another guy. They went on a break, and his boyfriend subsequently moved to Hong Kong for work for six months. He explained why he was telling me this, as his boyfriend was flying him out there to visit him and reconcile things and he wanted to be up front with me about everything so I didn't get my hopes up. It was super nice of him to be forthcoming with me about all of it, and I said that despite everything, I wouldn't mind hanging out and having fun while it was kind of up in the air. (Sidenote: he was in a five year relationship at this point, which is why the whole cheating thing might not have completely ended the relationship). We hung out four or five more times, thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, had some good sex, and then he left.
He went to Hong Kong for 12 days and I emailed him once while he was there telling him that I hoped he was having a good trip. When he came back, he brought me a cheesy present and we hung out once more. He told me that he had a nice time with his boyfriend and they had worked things out and were getting back together when he returned from Hong Kong. I was upset, but I knew what I had gotten myself into, and accepted it. I told him that I really liked him, but it would be best not to see each other because I didn't think that we could be just friends. I defriended him on Facebook (yeah yeah, I know) and all that, but, unfortunately, I have an excellent memory when it comes to phone numbers, so erasing him from my phone didn't matter.
Over the resulting six or seven months, I didn't talk to him. I moved on and dated other guys and had fun. In the back of my mind though, I have kept thinking about him. Even though it was only a few times that we hung out, it was really great and I can't describe the connection we had. I stumbled and ended up texting him a few times, once in February and once earlier last month. Nothing too strong, just seeing how he was doing. He responded and everything and said that he was good and we talked about some bands and music and stuff. No biggie. I had a boyfriend at the time and was a little ashamed that I was doing it, but I couldn't help myself.
Yesterday morning, I got a Facebook friend request from him. Before I accepted, I looked at his info, which said that he was single. Further stalking after I accepted showed me that he had indeed finally broken up with his boyfriend at the end of June. So basically, he broke up with his boyfriend and then friended me a week later.
I am pretty sure he's interested in hanging out again. I just don't know how to approach the situation, especially since he is fresh out of a very stressful and intense relationship (remember that he caught him cheating). I am holding out on just texting him and asking him to hang out, because I don't want to be that obvious. It is also somewhat ambiguous to him whether or not I still have a boyfriend, because the last time we spoke, I did (we broke up about a month ago), and it doesn't say anything about my relationship status on Facebook.
Thoughts? Advice? I want to tread lightly and approach this the right way so I don't make a fool of myself or a wrong move. Let me know
Last year (August 2011), I met this guy on OkCupid. On our first date, we really hit it off and had a ton of fun together. Toward the end of the night, he came out and told me that he was surprised that he was even on this date because of the messed up relationship he was in with his boyfriend. He said that he caught his boyfriend cheating on him, basically came home and found him in the shower with another guy. They went on a break, and his boyfriend subsequently moved to Hong Kong for work for six months. He explained why he was telling me this, as his boyfriend was flying him out there to visit him and reconcile things and he wanted to be up front with me about everything so I didn't get my hopes up. It was super nice of him to be forthcoming with me about all of it, and I said that despite everything, I wouldn't mind hanging out and having fun while it was kind of up in the air. (Sidenote: he was in a five year relationship at this point, which is why the whole cheating thing might not have completely ended the relationship). We hung out four or five more times, thoroughly enjoyed each other's company, had some good sex, and then he left.
He went to Hong Kong for 12 days and I emailed him once while he was there telling him that I hoped he was having a good trip. When he came back, he brought me a cheesy present and we hung out once more. He told me that he had a nice time with his boyfriend and they had worked things out and were getting back together when he returned from Hong Kong. I was upset, but I knew what I had gotten myself into, and accepted it. I told him that I really liked him, but it would be best not to see each other because I didn't think that we could be just friends. I defriended him on Facebook (yeah yeah, I know) and all that, but, unfortunately, I have an excellent memory when it comes to phone numbers, so erasing him from my phone didn't matter.
Over the resulting six or seven months, I didn't talk to him. I moved on and dated other guys and had fun. In the back of my mind though, I have kept thinking about him. Even though it was only a few times that we hung out, it was really great and I can't describe the connection we had. I stumbled and ended up texting him a few times, once in February and once earlier last month. Nothing too strong, just seeing how he was doing. He responded and everything and said that he was good and we talked about some bands and music and stuff. No biggie. I had a boyfriend at the time and was a little ashamed that I was doing it, but I couldn't help myself.
Yesterday morning, I got a Facebook friend request from him. Before I accepted, I looked at his info, which said that he was single. Further stalking after I accepted showed me that he had indeed finally broken up with his boyfriend at the end of June. So basically, he broke up with his boyfriend and then friended me a week later.
I am pretty sure he's interested in hanging out again. I just don't know how to approach the situation, especially since he is fresh out of a very stressful and intense relationship (remember that he caught him cheating). I am holding out on just texting him and asking him to hang out, because I don't want to be that obvious. It is also somewhat ambiguous to him whether or not I still have a boyfriend, because the last time we spoke, I did (we broke up about a month ago), and it doesn't say anything about my relationship status on Facebook.
Thoughts? Advice? I want to tread lightly and approach this the right way so I don't make a fool of myself or a wrong move. Let me know
