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Rickdboy - Archived Blog Posts
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My partner is working hard, He works box office at Darwin Entertainment Centre during the day and has a show on so is working the show shifts at night as well. He came in at midnight last night and expects maybe 11.00tonight. *|*

Tomorrow I'm going out for a meal with my other boyfriend after going to gym. (*8*) ;)

Whoops - partner just called, needs picking up and hour early . . :sex: (!)
 
One of the best things I have done recently is to go part time and work only four days. So this morning, like all Thursday mornings I sit here saying "Thank God it's Thursday!"

So what do I do with my Friday's. Often very little. Another good things I've learned recently is the value of being idle. At least it gives the space for contemplation, which is a much ignored field of human endeavour.

So to work. Well, later. I've been for my pre-dawn walk and surrounded myself with the beauty of a tropical morning in the monsoon vine forest. Now it's time to sit and read other blogs and maybe tap out a word or two for my own.

D
 
I notice that it is just on a year since I last posted on this blog.

Sometimes I think I have too many blogs. Sometimes I think one is too many!

I have recently looked in on the JUB message boards, particularly the one on Spirituality and Religion. Firstly I was intrigued that such discussions should be on JUB. Then I was fascinated by the topics. The I was disillusioned by the extent to which some people were using them to push their particular brand of religion and to dismantle contrary points of view, rather than as a vehicle to learn from others.

Then I withdrew (still there a bit) . .to think about it.
 
The breath of the morning changes from resting to sweetness as the light changes with the coming of the sun. And my heart is longing for my lover, who now is two whole days and one sleep away from returning from visiting his parents.

I am breathing his sweetness in my longing and contemplating his light and the dawn of his return.
 
I have tried blogging using other hosting sites and other blogging ideas.

I have a journal type blog which I now pretty much ignore.

I have a a spiritual blog which seems much less relevant now that I have reached a comfort zone with some of my spiritual struggles.

I have a poetry blog which is virtually starved to death.

Sometimes I have felt inhibited in these other blogs. Perhaps Justusboys might be a venue for saying what I think. A venue for talking about my erotic interests and letting it hang a little, if not a lot.

I have been waiting for our small town to get an ADSL service. I can get a subsidised satellite broadband but it is still expensive and requires a satellite dish etc. But hey! Today there was an announcement that Telstra and the government have stopped fighting and a deal has been struck to provide high speed broadband to our very own town. Yay!

This might be the encouragement I need to blog more, to explore images and words and my erotic self. In public? Perhaps. But certainly in like minded community.
:=D:
 
Whoever invented nipples deserves at least as much reward I have received for having discovered them. Elegantly and conveniently placed, one per set of fingers, nipples are sex organs par excellence.


‘Caught you!’, says my partner when he springs me idly fingering my tiny turgid knobs of pure delight, exhibitionist to his voyeur, as I turn stroke and twist those contemplative moments transforming them into ecstatic interludes. He smiles and the firmness between my fingers mirrors what I imagine to be the wry and enigmatic repose manifest nakedly on my lips and deeply in my eyes.


And when those same eyes penetrate his, as I lay impaled, his knob deepening my imagination and his shaft opening me to possibilities beyond desire, four sets of fingers find and feel the perfect connection of these plump, omnipotent orbs.
 
I have several friends who are quite a lot younger than me in one case 39 years younger. These are not the kind of friendships that are close or involve frequent contact, as with some of our other friendships where ages are much closer. None of them have involved sex, all are erotic, emotional and charged with sexual tension. All these friendships are with young guys who live a long way away or who I don't see frequently but communicate with by text messages or on-line chat.

One young guy is currently interstate and sending my partner and I pictures of his cock. He is promising to come and see us and stay. He tells us of his sexual adventures and of his desire for older men. He is a beautiful , if rugged, ex military man. Contemplating his visit is a great turn on for both my partner and I.

These are friendships I didn't necessarily go out looking for but which are worth cultivating. While there is much prejudice amongst gay men against age differences, April/October friendships are arguably an extremely valuable part of the spectrum of gay relationships.
(*8*)
 
Sometimes I think about how it would be to have a third person as part of the live in and intimate relationship with my boyfriend. We have talked about and even courted a guy once. But interestingly he, I like to think, fancied me and didn't want to share with my bf, so in the end he has moved on.

Sometime I think how wonderful it would be if my bf had someone else to kiss cuddle and fuck. There are time when I would be very happy to chill out by myself. Other times I would love to be the voyeur to their intimacy, or the third in a chain.

My boyfriend has often said he would like to watch someone fuck me. There a many times when I am ready for another cock just after my bf has cum.

I guess there must be guys who find a longer term threesome can work?
*|*:sex:
 
When I was struggling with my sexuality, trying to collect my thoughts and desires into some coherent idea of who I was, I recall that I had a consistent desire. What would it be like to have a cock in my mouth? In fact it was this desire, to taste cock, that helped me begin to put that self definition together.

I love giving and I love receiving head. This is interesting terminology because with cock sucking, giving head is also receiving someone’s cock. Receiving head is also giving and trusting your cock to someone else’s care. Isn’t it beautiful that something so fantastically pleasurable is also so satisfyingly mutual. That being said, there is good head and there is not so good head.

My partner likes me giving him head. I would dearly love to get head from him much much more than he is able to give. He has breathing difficulties and finds it quite difficult o keep my cock in his mouth because he has to breathe through his mouth. When he succeeds, however, I bless his fabulous attention with lots of precum which he drinks voraciously, using his finger up my arse to milk my prostate for all he can get.

My one time lover, who left me for a big bear of a younger man, has scored well. This young man has the softest most beautiful mouth. We had a threesome once and I was blown away when this guy gave me head. My ex lover and his boyfriend are still my friends and friends of my partner, but we no longer have sex. I can’t say I no longer desire that mouth.

I met a man once who was a builder. He told me stories of having sex with tradesmen that came to do jobs for him. This remains for me both a possible reality and a fantasy. I remember one time a very cute young plumber who had come to fix my toilet. When he had finished the work he didn’t rush straight away, he chatted. I so desperately wanted to open his shorts and draw back on what I knew must be a most luscious cock. He was one of those guys sweet sweet guys with such a sexy aura about him. But I was not adventurous enough to suggest that I give him head. He wasn’t going to ask, it was up to me but I didn’t do it. Next time! Hey there must be a next time.

There is a young man that it flirting with my partner and I. He has a fat uncut cock. I know because he has been sending us pictures. When he returns from interstate he has promised to come and stay. He says he want to have sex with my partner and with me and with us both together. We are patiently waiting and longing for this guy to become, however briefly, a third in our couple. I am hoping he will love head and a particular fantasy of mine is doing 69 with him as my partner obliges his arse.

When I was first thinking about having sex with men and fantasizing about having a cock in my mouth, I wondered about being in some way violated by taking a cock into my body. The first cock I sucked was a that of a call boy. I paid him so that I could suck him. His cock went into my mouth so easily. He expected to be fucked but I sucked him and he loved it and he came so easily. I was hooked. In a more perfect world I would now wish to violated daily.
(!)
 
One of the things I love about living in a tropical place is the chances that brings to be naked without discomfort.

A favourite time of my day is the early morning. I wake early and get out of bed an leave my clothes off for as long as I can. I wander out into the garden and piss on the garden and feel free.

As it gets light I need to be a bit more careful and I don't want to offend the neighbours. But I love having my clothes off, just as I do when typing my early morning entries into blogs. Like now.
..|
 
When I was at school and got the occasional look at someone’s cock or their balls in change rooms. Or when I went to the beach and saw guys in their speedos, I couldn’t help feeling different. A lot of the boys I saw were cut and I was uncut. Most of the glimpses of balls I had were tight balls, mine often hung loose. I remember seeing this Christian camp leader in speedos and I idolised the way his cock stuck out front and centre, while I knew that mine lolled about and lay to the side. You know I so often felt . . . ‘what is wrong with me?’ ‘Why can’t I be like other guys?’

Well I have just been looking at Low Hangers thread in the JUB Leather Fetish and other Obsessions forum and admiring a great album of low hanger pics posted by one of my fellow jubbers. And You know I was just thinking, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou to everyone who has ever put pictures of naked men on the internet. Thanks particularly to the ordinary guys who put their self-pics out there for others to see.

Every one of the problems I supposed that my body had, as a kid growing up, I can now see as beautiful and desirable. I am so glad I am uncut, I’m so proud of my balls I am even proud of my changing body that no longer looks like it did when I was 19, when I was still not really accepting it anyway!

Looking at naked men has got to be required in the Gay 101 coming out school of life. It is interesting to reflect on how my comfort level with my own body has grown as I have looked at pictures of guys, soft, hard, pulling themselves, having sex, having orgies. The opponents or detractors of what is usually called porn perhaps do not understand how powerfully these images can be in healing self esteem and allowing the growth of positive body image.



(!)
 
One of the joys of having come out is that I have, am learning, how to flirt. Flirting is great fun. It is something I do with my partner and with my friends and with strangers. And generally it is reciprocated. Double fun.

Being a flirt for me is not just part of coming out, it is a big part of the process itself. At heart coming out is learning to like and accept yourself, sending signals to yourself that you are not just OK but likeable and attractive. Flirting with someone else is the same thing, sending the person signals that they are attractive and likeable and that you find them interesting.

I did a Google search on flirting and came up with some very interesting articles, including some on gay flirting. Here are two, one on flirting as an important social interaction and the other particularly about gay flirting. Both have ideas on how to flirt well.

http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
http://www.gaylinkcontent.com/storydetail.cfm?storyid=2461

In the gay community it is perhaps important to understand the difference between flirting and cruising for sex. Maybe this is where some guys can come to grief, mistaking someone’s flirtatious behaviour for cruising and then being totally pissed off with another ‘time waster’ or ‘game player’.

I got myself a little into trouble on line recently when a guy I have been flirting with suddenly announced that he was not into threesomes and he couldn’t have sex with me for respect of my partner and couldn’t have sex with my partner out of respect for me. So it was ‘sorry’ and off he went. Whoa! This took me aback somewhat. He thought I was cruising him. I thought I was offering friendship.

One of the difficulties, of course is sometimes when we flirt, sex may not entirely be a precluded possibility. In my example I will have to admit that this was true but it was not my primary aim. Flirting always involves a degree of sexual ambiguity and being good at flirting involves being able to judge when the sexual interest has become primary and the goal of the behaviour has turned from being a kind of social glue or lubricant to behaviour intent on achieving sexual contact.

While we all are flirts at heart, doing it well is a learned behaviour and practice makes perfect: or so I believe.
(!)
 
Do you know that delicious feeling at the early stage of arousal? Don't you wish you could keep it forever?

Awakening to the erotic is a transient ecstacy which when replaced by something more full on , is left as a smile on your soul.

I will never tire of sexual stirrings. Just writing this has awakened a presence, radiating luxuriantly from my perineum and smooth expectations and luscious blood flow in my knob.

Maybe this is why I love to just give my nipples a quick stroke when I think I am not being observed. Each stroke or tweak is a nudge into constant beginnings.

:wow:Even when my lover is full on fucking me and reaches to caress my nipples the layer of awakening is renewed and fresh stirrings rise above the tumult of orgiastic abandon.

May I be forever awakening.
 
I can remember way back when I had bought my first pair of the flash new bikini underpants to replace the baggy white standard issue briefs that had been the childhood issue from my parents. They too were white but were what would probably now be called a hipster cut, with mesh panes down either side of the inverted triangular piece that was meant to conceal my package. And I’m sure the designers of these garments meant well but for a while I was in despair that I never would fit into them. My erection steadfastly stood mostly visible with the elastic band of these undies tightly banded across the underside of my single minded cock. In fact in those days there was virtually no way I could take me clothes off, or it seemed put bikini underwear on, without standing to attention. So there was seemingly no way in my young mind that I could ever do what I wanted to do and dabble in nudism.

Well eventually all erections resolve. Interesting how that word just popped out. ‘Resolve’, although the erection was a problem that needs resolving. Hmm ......I guess in some ways it was. But I digress. Eventually I was able to wear the bikinis and resume my often to be repeated fascination with getting about without my clothes on.

Well now I’m just a wee bit older than when I first tried on bikini underwear and stand up never sit down erections are not an issue. And I can feel free to feel free with a body that is open to the universe.

Sitting here in my favourite morning attire, nothing, I wonder where how interest in nudism will develop. Our new garden is not yet private enough for daytime nudity so I make do with just wearing some ‘loose’ Aussiebums. The house has not curtains and is very very open but I do walk about sans clothes when sometimes.

Inside me, however, is lurking a naked exhibitionist that wants the universe to view me as I am and wants to reach back to the universe with nothing but what it gave me.



:gogirl:
 
A cyber friend of mine has just posted that he is moving into a flat to live with 'his man' after 27 years of marriage. I feel for him and wish him well. My wife and I separated after 30 years of marriage but it took a little while before 'my man' moved in.

Late life coming out for married men is so much emotional work and many never make it. I feel for them all, and there are many.
:=D:
D
 
I read something last night that stuck with me, rang bells and all those metaphors. The statement made was 'We are all called to ecstasy'. And my response was: Yes!

The ecstasy of letting go to the moment is something we all seek in orgasm or spiritual highs or drugs or food or the total dropping of inhibition that can be found in dancing or involvement in the arts, walking on beaches or mountains or in many a varied ways.

These fleeting moments are anticipated planned for and contemplated until they return again.

I have heard it taught that the easy road is the road to destruction but the narrow road is the route to heaven. Letting go is, however, both the easy and the narrow way. The utter simplicity of letting go is often the most difficult thing to do. Hence the devices we invent to help us simply let go .. .drugs, parties or whatever. Most of these methods have their risks, sex included, but that is another subject.

When approaching your next orgasm dear reader welcome it, embrace it and just let go. If you can do that then maybe in the afterglow you may contemplate your brush with the divine and bring that with you through the journey to the next fall into ecstasy.
 
The house was full last night, ten came back from the community quiz night in our little town for nightcaps and chat. I crashed before the witching hour and woke a couple of hours later to find that my partner was still up earnestly chatting to the straight and maritally separated plumber. This morning I woke at first light to find we had five sleep-over guests. A couple of gay guys in our second bedroom, my partner’s daughter and her ex-boyfriend on a mattress on the living room floor and the plumber on a swag on another part of the living room floor. I think the plans are that we will be ten again for breakfast when our other gay friends wander across from their house with their lesbian house guest.

And in the cool of our tropical morning I sit here, first morning cup of tea almost consumed, the plumber and I the only ones out of bed, thinking , ‘isn’t gay life grand’.
 
My partner and I have just got back from a holiday near the Gold Coast in South East Queensland. We stayed in a gay men only B&B and had a most relaxing time. it rained the whole week we were there staying in the Bush House in the Tallebudgera Valley. Most people from more southern climes I guess go to SE Queensland for the sun but as we already live in the tropics the relative cool and mountain scenery was a good change.

I have stayed in other gay men only B&Bs and find them a great way to go. In this case the hospitality of our hosts was superb. Knowing that there will only be gay men guests, clothing option in pool and spa and porn DVDs and lube and condoms in the bedside drawer are all part of the great hospitality you can find in such venues.

Now back home to our Wet Season, tidying up the garden after a cyclone that came while we were away and organising the for the roof damage to be fixed are all part of the rich tapestry of life.

When on a holiday I would recommend gay B&Bs ..|
D
 
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