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Rihanna [Mega-Merged] Thread

WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE MORE?

  • RIHANNA

    Votes: 8 33.3%

  • LEONA

    Votes: 11 45.8%

  • LIKE THEM BOTH EQUALLY

    Votes: 5 20.8%
  • Total voters
    24
Re: Rihanna Police Report

winterknight said:
Don't do this, it's victim-blaming.

It's HIS fault for being an abusive arsehole, not hers.
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No, if or when it happens again she will bear some of the blame. If you get attacked by a bear at the zoo you don't go near their cage ever again.

If a person catches their house on fire for smoking in bed and they it happens again are they to blame?
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

winterknight said:
It's HIS fault for being an abusive arsehole, not hers.
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I agree with that. However. Knowing what she knows and what he's capable of, and having gone through the steps to make sure he couldn't do it again... why would she put herself in the same position?

Forgiveness is one thing... and in this situation, it's admirable. Sticking your hand into a fire you were burnt by before? I can't say that the result won't be any less of a mistake.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

MoufOfKhaos said:
I agree with that. However. Knowing what she knows and what he's capable of, and having gone through the steps to make sure he couldn't do it again... why would she put herself in the same position?

Forgiveness is one thing... and in this situation, it's admirable. Sticking your hand into a fire you were burnt by before? I can't say that the result won't be any less of a mistake.
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False metaphor. A fire is, by and large, a predictable thing. Human beings are not.

At the end of the day, none of us know her reasons for going back to him. They may well have seemed perfectly valid. However, they do not make anything HE does HER fault.

Or, of she was standing in front of you with a black eye and a split lip, or possibly even worse, would you actually say to her face "well it's YOUR fault for going back"?

No?

Then don't say it anywhere else, either.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

GiancarloC said:
I think both are at blame.
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What's this, if not blaming her?

Oh, and "Politically incorrect" is a shibboleth used by the right-wing press used to shame anyone who disagrees with their straight-white-cis-male dominated viewpoint. I've never seen it used in earnest by someone who isn't trying to justify being an arsehole.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

winterknight said:
False metaphor. A fire is, by and large, a predictable thing. Human beings are not.
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Metaphor wasn't about the fire in of itself - it was about knowing your reaction to being burned and doing the same thing anyway. So I don't see how it registers as false at all.

winterknight said:
At the end of the day, none of us know her reasons for going back to him.
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And that's why I question it. Because I really don't know.

I could go on, but you've made it quite clear that anyone that questions her actions on this is automatically blaming her, so I should have stayed with my first instinct and kept clear. Now, you can state that i'm derailing for ending my chat with you if it helps you feel better - doesn't really matter all that much to me. I will still wonder why, and if that means to you that i'm blaming her... so be it.

I will also wonder why this report is being so conveniently trotted out after the guy takes a Grammy, but, anything to keep this fresh in the mind I suppose.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

What's wrong with what you said is that telling victims they need to modulate their behaviour to avoid being victims is tackling the wrong end of the problem.

Chris Brown is an abusive arsehole. Whether Rihanna avoids him or not, he will STILL be an abusive arsehole. If it's not her, it will be some other woman. What needs to happen is that Chris Brown needs to STOP being an abusive arsehole, and then there will be no need for ANYONE to avoid him.

Simply telling his victim(s) (because I'm sure there's more than one) to avoid him is doing NOTHING to tackle the root cause of the problem. Instead, it's hindering that effort by shifting responsibility away from where it really belongs - on the shoulders of the abusive arsehole who likes to beat up women.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

Who are the fools who pay money to this thug so he can buy his bling?
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

GiancarloC said:
There is nothing wrong with what I said. And I'm not promoting anything wrong. She needs to avoid Chris Brown. I'm not excusing Brown's behavior. Refer back to my article on trolling. Thanks.
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By shifting some of the responsibility onto Rihanna's shoulders, you ARE partially excusing Brown's behaviour. It's the equivalent of saying "she wouldn't have been raped if she hadn't worn such a short skirt". You're saying Brown can't avoid hitting women, therefore women who are vulnerable to being hit should avoid him. Whereas it actual fact it's easy to avoid hitting women, you just, y'know, don't hit women.

And if you think I'm trolling, then you're the one who needs to re-read the article.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

winterknight said:
What's wrong with what you said is that telling victims they need to modulate their behaviour to avoid being victims is tackling the wrong end of the problem.

Chris Brown is an abusive arsehole. Whether Rihanna avoids him or not, he will STILL be an abusive arsehole.
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Nobody is denying that Chris is abusive. We know that. We've know it for a long time. But so has Rihanna. In fact, she's probably known it for a lot longer than we have. She knows what she is walking into. It's not Chris' fault that she went back to him. He didn't beat her up or hold a gun to her head to make her go back. She want back on her own accord and accepts full responsibility if he beats her up again.

If a friend of yours comes to your home and, while you're in the bathroom, sneaks into your bedroom and steals your money, that's not your fault. If he comes back and you let him in and he steals more money from you, that IS your fault.

It's Chris' fault that he's an abusive arsehole, but it's Rihanna's fault for forgiving him and going back to him just to (very likely) get beat up again. She is not much of a victim when she invites the crime.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

^ you people are getting off topic about the stupid rich celebrities who can't live their own lives
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

I'm sort of in a relationship with a tempestuous man. But he never physically attacks me.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

winterknight said:
Would you say that to her face when she's lying in hospital?
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Yes, I would. She has put herself into what she knows is a dangerous situation, and she did it voluntarily. It's Chris' fault for being an abusive arsehole. It's Rihanna's fault for putting herself in a situation where he can do it again. She's a victim, yes, but she's a willing victim.
 
Re: Rihanna Police Report

GiancarloC said:
You haven't explained anything really. You're just trying to make some claims about what you thought I said or meant. And you have been far from polite coming here and going on the offensive. You haven't considered alternate viewpoints. You just dismiss them.
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When the "alternate viewpoints" are offensive to abuse victims, I don't need to consider them.

I have not put words in your mouth, I have simply attempted to explain how the words you put there yourself appear to such victims. In this, I have clearly failed, because you still don't get it.

Not once in this thread have I denied that it would almost certainly be in Rihanna's best interests to avoid Brown going forward. However, to state that, if she goes back to him and he beats her up again, it is partially her own silly fault, speaks to a culture of violence against women that I simply cannot get behind. If a man hits a woman, it is not the woman's fault, regardless of the circumstances. This is true even if the woman knows that the man has been violent in the past, because the man always has the option of not being violent again. He can have anger management counselling. He can step out of the room and count to ten, or go abd beat up a punchbag if he really feels the need to hit something. He can pop a couple of valium, or smoke a joint, or any number of things that do not involve inflicting physical violence on another human being.

When you say "I think both are at blame", whether you realise it or not, you are partially absolving him of the need to take responsibility for his own actions. After all, if it's ever even partially her fault, then when do you draw the line? Is it her fault that she didn't want to have sex last night because she had a headache? Is it her fault that there's no mayo in the fridge, or that the kids toys were left out, or that the grammys in the trophy cupboard haven't been dusted? And even if the answers to all these questions are "yes", are any of them a valid reason to justify hitting her?

I suggest you read up on "abuse culture". Here's a link to get you started.

And now, it's gone 1am here and I need my beauty sleep. I'll pick this up again in the morning if there's anything more that needs to be said.
 
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