I imagine he would have sent you a signal by now. Focus your attentions elsewhere and cherish the 'great' relationship you have. If you try to move in on him, you will risk your friendship. You need to decide if losing him completely is worth the risk of getting him into bed and - possibly building a different type of relationship together. Hard choice. Only you can make it.
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Roommate Advice
- Thread starter joeG23
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I've been a student for the last 8 years in different countries and having different roommates. Growing feelings is something that happens quite often in situations when living with others. It happened to me sometimes. Only a couple of times i had a chat with with them, told them how i felt and to be honest it didn't worked out very well. In both cases I was the pervert and the guy who seeks something more. That can be irritating and frustrating cause it is reflected in common friendships and in the house serenity too (e.g. where is my underwear?shall i look in your room...???lol).
What happened to me though, doesn't mean it will happen to you. If you decide more seriously to speak with him or even clues, do it later when you will know him better and be sure for it. Otherwise, my most pessimistic opinion is to avoid it (pessimism is optimism with experiences...)
teo
What happened to me though, doesn't mean it will happen to you. If you decide more seriously to speak with him or even clues, do it later when you will know him better and be sure for it. Otherwise, my most pessimistic opinion is to avoid it (pessimism is optimism with experiences...)
teo
Brijan
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I think what JoeG23 said is good advice.
Moreover, Karabulut does ask an important question:
So, here is the breakdown.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your roommate you are gay. If he is a good friend he'll like you for you; not for what gender you prefer to have sex with.
Of course tell him on your terms when you are ready.
However, if your roommate isn't gay and you know he cannot return your feelings, it is selfish of you to tell him you have romantic and/or sexual feelings for him and expect things to remain as they are.
Perhaps you feel so strongly for him that you are willing to risk losing him as a friend if you tell him and gain the chance to have him as a lover.
Again, this is a call only you can make.
If it were me, and it was me at one point in time, I would not tell him you had feelings for him.
Moreover, Karabulut does ask an important question:
If your roommate isn't gay, then you know there is no way he could return your feelings.
So, here is the breakdown.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with telling your roommate you are gay. If he is a good friend he'll like you for you; not for what gender you prefer to have sex with.
Of course tell him on your terms when you are ready.
However, if your roommate isn't gay and you know he cannot return your feelings, it is selfish of you to tell him you have romantic and/or sexual feelings for him and expect things to remain as they are.
Perhaps you feel so strongly for him that you are willing to risk losing him as a friend if you tell him and gain the chance to have him as a lover.
Again, this is a call only you can make.
If it were me, and it was me at one point in time, I would not tell him you had feelings for him.
SilverRRCloud
I'd rather be a Sexgod:)
I go by the rule that everyone above the legal age is a fair game. If you care to look around, you'll see that with few exceptions, this MO works everywhere.
However, when it comes to roommates you want to be extra cautious, and if needed, even err on the the side of caution.
Your roommate is someone, who is by the virtue of your housing situation stuck with you for a certain period of time. This reduces his freedom to choose: accept or reject your advances and move on. You are always there, so to say, and if he rejects you, he'll always feel awkward. You want to show a degree of maturity and emotional intelligence here and proceed only, if you see your chances as being relatively very good.
SC
However, when it comes to roommates you want to be extra cautious, and if needed, even err on the the side of caution.
Your roommate is someone, who is by the virtue of your housing situation stuck with you for a certain period of time. This reduces his freedom to choose: accept or reject your advances and move on. You are always there, so to say, and if he rejects you, he'll always feel awkward. You want to show a degree of maturity and emotional intelligence here and proceed only, if you see your chances as being relatively very good.
SC
thermodynamics
Resident Enginerd
As mentioned above, you left out a very important detail...Is he gay?
If yes, then he's fair game. But take it slow, because after all, you do have to live with him.
If no, you can certainly tell him that you're gay. But under no circumstances should you tell him that you like him. Remember. He's straight. He cannot (by definition) reciprocate your feelings. I told my best friend that I was gay and had feelings for him. It ended in DISASTER.
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Based upon your answers:
so any ideas on what to do?
Should I say something, or just keep quiet?
Should you tell him you are bisexual or have attractions to guys? At some point, as your roommate he would need to know only if you want to have guys stay the night (at which point he would know anyway).
Should you tell him that you have an attraction to him? Unless you are ready to come out and unless you want to risk your living situation, you should not say or do anything.
As the other posters have indicated, romantic relationships have a tendency to end with a lot of turmoil. Friendships and good roommates are much more important.
so any ideas on what to do?
Should I say something, or just keep quiet?
Should you tell him you are bisexual or have attractions to guys? At some point, as your roommate he would need to know only if you want to have guys stay the night (at which point he would know anyway).
Should you tell him that you have an attraction to him? Unless you are ready to come out and unless you want to risk your living situation, you should not say or do anything.
As the other posters have indicated, romantic relationships have a tendency to end with a lot of turmoil. Friendships and good roommates are much more important.