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Round 3! *ding!!*

dkonfrost

dkonfrost

This is for you Shaun!
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Almost 2 weeks have passed since i came out to my mother. Thanks to everyone who threw in their words of support and their 2 cents and advice!

This morning heralded Round 3, she once again "suggested" trying girls, and insisting that i was influenced.

All of my responses were, "No." and "No, you're wrong. I'm not changing"

She tried to invoke the motherly angle, she says, "Do it for me. please?" And of course i tried not to laugh in her face, but i pretty much said, "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm not going back into the closet for anyone." She clearly doesn't realize that appealing sentimentally doesn't work on me. Although i gotta give her points for creativity for trying that artillery, LOL.

She also said, "just be open!" to which i responded with, "No. YOU are not being open obviously" And she says, "Oh, i AM open! Just try girls thiough" LOL...lordy, she's only open when it's convenient, hahahahahah.

I ended the discussion with "All my girl friends are "right girl" material, and yet, i'm still gay, thus that idea is flawed and useless. So yeah, I'm not changing, i'm still gay"

I also gave her PFLAG's website and http://www.familyacceptance.org so she can read through those when she's not busy at work.

On a happier sidenote, my oldest brother(he found out the same time my mom did) and I are still hangin out and doing stuff together, like spotting him for benchpresses, we'd go out for coffee, etc etc. My brother really doesn't give a f**k that i'm gay. and i love him dearly for that :gogirl:

Well, that's update 2.0, just thought i'd share ..|
 
at least she's not being a pain about it. why don't you humour her and bring a chick home for dinner? well good to know your family isn't disowning you. congrats.
 
maxxximum said:
at least she's not being a pain about it. why don't you humour her and bring a chick home for dinner? well good to know your family isn't disowning you. congrats.
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oh, she IS being a pain about it, just in controlled bursts, LOL. I thought about the humoring thing, but i know that would be a bad bad bad idea because that would just prove her right and she'd never let that down.

and thank you very much, i do feel glad/fortunate that my mom hasn't booted me out yet, and my brother is accepting...|
 
Glad to hear that all is well. I'm not sure if you want to try this tactic, but it's worked on my parents. Every so often, I'd make comments about good looking guys, finding a boyfriend, getting married to a guy...you know, the kind of things that Filipino parents just love to hear their sons talk about? I figure if she hears you talk about it enough, you can obliterate all of her hopes that you can somehow str8en yourself out.
 
halubtsi said:
Glad to hear that all is well. I'm not sure if you want to try this tactic, but it's worked on my parents. Every so often, I'd make comments about good looking guys, finding a boyfriend, getting married to a guy...you know, the kind of things that Filipino parents just love to hear their sons talk about? I figure if she hears you talk about it enough, you can obliterate all of her hopes that you can somehow str8en yourself out.
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hey there! Thanks for the encouraging words in my coming out post!

And yes, i will definitely try that tactic. I've already told her that I want to have a HUSBAND at some point, LOL. You're right, i think that the constant barrage will eventually help things sink in. Thanks for the heads up dude.
Galing mo, pare!(*8*)
 
she thinks that since i'm gay, i'm gonna start shopping for 10 inch platforms and parade around in her dresses.
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I had that problem too. My mom even went so far as to put a lock on her closet until I convinced her I wasn't into drag.
 
dkonfrost said:
LMAO....actually, for some reason, she thinks that since i'm gay, i'm gonna start shopping for 10 inch platforms and parade around in her dresses.
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Dude, your mom and mine must have been in the same "How to correctily identify a bakla" class. You're gay, so you must want to wear women's clothing! ](*,) It'll take some time for her to break that stereotype, I'm afraid.
 
halubtsi said:
Dude, your mom and mine must have been in the same "How to correctily identify a bakla" class. You're gay, so you must want to wear women's clothing! ](*,) It'll take some time for her to break that stereotype, I'm afraid.
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Yeah, i kinda figured. Philippine cinema pretty much indoctrinated to her that if you're "bakla" you are a screaming nelly who loves dresses and resembles Roderick Paulate (you get a prize if you know who the hell that is)

Like Soilwork said before, i just need to not let her bully me, and stand my damn ground :D
 
Can't say that my family watched too many Filipino movies. So I don't know Roderick Paulate. I just know that he played a gay guy.

Definitely continue to stand your ground as soilwork suggests. But don't always be on the defensive. Half the fun is catching your mom off guard.
 
Wow, you just wrote MY coming out thread...thanks, less work for me, lol...I just got myself into the same situation this week with my mom...(suggesting girls, insisting I've been influenced, and "do it for me, please, I've done all this for you").

She even went as far as blurting out that maybe I need to go to Poland (I'm Polish) to find a girl...thankfully she caught herself on how stupid that sounds 3 seconds later (though not out of the question if I wasn't trying to get an education here).

She also though I was already having sex with guys all over.
dkonfrost said:
Like Soilwork said before, i just need to not let her bully me, and stand my damn ground :D
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Soil is right here of course...yay for us standing our ground (in my case, literally it seems).
 
Well, dkonfrost, sorry to hear there isn't much progress two weeks in. It's funny to listen to here b/c I can just imagine it. But I'm sure it sucks to be living through it. I really think a website or book for her to look through would be good. pflag has some great links to stories and references in it that hopefully would help her realize that she's not being very reasonable on the subject. Not out to the parents but that's my plan if/when I do tell them.
 
jockboy01 said:
Well, dkonfrost, sorry to hear there isn't much progress two weeks in. It's funny to listen to here b/c I can just imagine it. But I'm sure it sucks to be living through it. I really think a website or book for her to look through would be good. pflag has some great links to stories and references in it that hopefully would help her realize that she's not being very reasonable on the subject. Not out to the parents but that's my plan if/when I do tell them.
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hey jockboy! (*8*) Well, you have to admit, there is a modicum of humor because it just sounds remarkably stupid when she tries to pull this argument on me. I did give her links to PFLAG's website and http://www.familyacceptance.org as well. And don't rush being out to your parents. Only do that when you think you're mentally ready for it. I'm basically saying, come out to your folks when YOU are ready. Mine was accidental, LOL.....damn karaoke =0)


RenaissanceMan said:
Wow, you just wrote MY coming out thread...thanks, less work for me, lol...I just got myself into the same situation this week with my mom...(suggesting girls, insisting I've been influenced, and "do it for me, please, I've done all this for you").

She even went as far as blurting out that maybe I need to go to Poland (I'm Polish) to find a girl...thankfully she caught herself on how stupid that sounds 3 seconds later (though not out of the question if I wasn't trying to get an education here).

She also though I was already having sex with guys all over.
Soil is right here of course...yay for us standing our ground (in my case, literally it seems).
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Hey! you just came out too!! coool! (*8*) ....what your mom said to you is verbatim in my situation, she tried sentimental/pity methods, to no avail of course. Until i told her otherwise, she just assumed that i was having all this raunchy sex with my gay friends. she asked me, "what do you guys do?" I answered with the most sarcastic tone i could with, "Bowling. Starbucks. We don't f**k each other from here to kingdom come. who fed you that bullsh*t?" Keep standing your ground dude, I'm standing my ground here too....we'll stand together and maybe some cute guys will notice. ..|

halubtsi said:
Can't say that my family watched too many Filipino movies. So I don't know Roderick Paulate. I just know that he played a gay guy.

Definitely continue to stand your ground as soilwork suggests. But don't always be on the defensive. Half the fun is catching your mom off guard.
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That's it! good job dude. Basically, she associates gay with weak/annoying/hairdresser/amount to nothing. She's whacked, LOL. :badgrin:
 
Are all asian parents using the same manual? Because that's exactly what my mom said. I didn't give her pflag stuff, though. I really wish I did and sending it now out of the blue would be weird.
 
luminum said:
Are all asian parents using the same manual? Because that's exactly what my mom said. I didn't give her pflag stuff, though. I really wish I did and sending it now out of the blue would be weird.
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yeah! i think there's a "the gaysian agenda" manual put out by the American Family Association specifically handed out to parents of asian descent.
 
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