RRRalph - Archived Blog Posts

[RRRalph]

When i signed in at jub last year i noticed a lot of biphobic comments. There was an anti bisexual sentiment going on. After a couple weeks i noticed that there was only a small group of people with an anti bisexual attitude. It was very annoying nevertheless, beacuse those comments can affect other people in the way they think about bisexuals. What i didn’t understand is that gays who has experienced the gay bashing from straights themselves, do exactly the same to bisexuals. In stead of understanding, bisexuals were stereotyped as cheaters and snobs who think they are better because we are supposedly half straight. The only truth is that bisexuals are, besides the sexual preference for both genders, nothing diffirent from hetereosexuals or gays. Don’t threat us like dirt. Some bisexual cheat, but not more or less than gays and straights. Some bisexuals are arrogant, but not more or less than gays and straight and so on. Regarding to the posting at jub: the thing that i am really glad about it is, is the dissapareance of the anti bisexual sentiment from jub. What a bliss! In the past there were only few gay guys who posted against biphobic gays, but now many more post against the few biased bitches like softmen, meheartdicks and soilwork.

It is freaking hard to be a bisexual. In the beginning there is confusion about liking guys, then there is confusion about not being gay, then there is confusion about what gender you like more, then there is confusion about romantically attractions and then there is more confussion when the attraction is fluid. It takes a lilttle while to identify yourself. As i have stated before in several threads i am equally sexual attracted to men and women and i am only romantically attracted to women, which means i could only have a longterm relationships with women. You can only know yourself if you are honest to yourself regarding the consequences. I have been. I am perfectly fine if i would fall in love with a man, but i haven’t experienced anything with guys that comes near romance. Here is an little example. The other day a jub buddy told me he snogged a guy for an hour. I can’t do that. I would be so damn bored, but it wouldn’t be boring with a woman. Still there is some sceptism and anger among some gays about my disability to love men. There is even an dumb thread about my situation. All i can say is that i know myself and i don’t fool guys about my intention for having sex only. It’s up to them to have or not to have sex.

Ralph​

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I always wonder why
People try to hurt me
No happiness in their own lives
So they act by all their jealousy​

Who are you to say that i'm living wrong
Always telling me what to do
I’m glad that i’m so strong
What made you think that I need you​

You don't even know me
You say that i'm not living right
You don't understand me
Why do you judge my life​

 

[RRRalph]

Since i was little I have always loved to pull a prank. Nowadays i have calmed down and behave a bit more. Let me share two nice pranks with you.

My ex gf worked a couple days a week in a cloting store while she went to college. She asked me to compile three cds, because she and her co workers were tired of listening to the same music over and over again. During the song selection for the cds i had a ridiculously evil idea. I added a bonus track to the third cd. I used four minutes of sound of a straight porn movie as a track for the cd. It was part loud moaning due to hard pounding and dirty talks. The exact repetative words were: ‘yeah baby, fuck me, fuck me harder’. I told her that she should play the last disc when it’s crowded, because it contains the best music. Happily she took the cd to her work and played it there. The thought alone made me grin all day. I wished i could have been there like a fly on the wall when it happend. I was planning to reveal to her what i had done, when she got home. I waited in front of the store to pick her up from work. When she walked out of the store i saw her angry face. She was so mad at me! She said that during the last cd she suddenly heard loud moanings and texts like ‘fuck me hard’ throughout the whole store and that everyone was so shocked by it. It took them a little while to turn out the cd and reassure the costumers. She asked me if it was a sick prank of me. I didn’t want to have an angry girl for weeks. So i convinced her that i downloaded that track like that.

Another prank was with my soccer buddies. They are always nosey: grabbing stuff out of my bag, using my deodorant, lotion, eating my snacks and more. The thing that they standard use after a match is my cologne. I came up with a brilliant plan to stop the nosey attitude and have a big laugh about it. I had an empty cologne bottle and i urinated in it. In the next match i put it in my bag and i told my teamplayers i had a new cologne. I asked them not to use it because it was too expensive to share it with everyone. After playing soccer i left my bag open and pretended that i wanted to have a chat with the coach about the match. From a distance i spied on them. As i expected they grabbed the bottle out of my bag and started to spray it over them. They sprayed my urine on their clothes and in their neck! They didn't notice anything at first, except that they didn't like the smell. I rolled into the changing room from laughing and they didn't have a clue why. The faces they made were priceless, when i said it was my urine that they sprayed on their clothes and on their necks. It was like five mates who did that. Those five didn't know what to do: at first they didn't believe me, but when it struck them that i was telling the truth, they disgustedly changed clothes and showered again, while all the other players laughed loudly. It was hilarious. That will teach them not to use my things without permission!

Ralph​

​

Greedy little people in a sea of distress
Keep your more to receive your less
Unimpressed by material excess
Love is free love me, say hell yes​

Im a low brow, but I rock a little know how
No time for the piggies or the hoosegow
Get smart get down with the pow wow
Never been a better time than right now​

Give it away, give it away, give it away now
Give it away, give it away, give it away now
Give it away, give it away, give it away now
I can’t tell if i’m a king pin or a pauper​

 

[RRRalph]

On 31th May 2007 i have been single for exactly one year. It is the day that my girlfriend and i decided to go our seperate ways. She actually left my appartment the next month, when she found a place to stay. We have been together for two years and after a couple years of separations we found each other again and spend another two years together. She is an amazingly sweet, intelligent, beautiful woman with a heart of pure gold. She is someone who only has good intentions. If she wants to get me back when i fooled her for the hundredth time, she always fails, because she can’t lie. In stead of looking innocent or neutral when you pull a pokerface, she looks like she has something under her sleeves. Another advantage of not able to lie, is her direct approach. She tells me and everyone else right in the face what she has on her mind in her sweat and charming way.

The last two months of our relationship i felt like i lost connection to her. I have never stopped loving her, but the sparkle was reduced. I didn’t have the feeling that i was in love with her. I was wondering if this was something that happend in every longterm relationship. The short period of time of disconnection after being together for a long time or was it that we grew apart? How do you know what it is? How long would it take to figure that out? One month, six months? It would be a shame if it was only a brief dip in the relationship and if i throw away 4 years. I know she wants to spend her lifetime with me, but it has to come from both ways. I wish we could be together for so much longer, but i can’t change my feelings. I came to the conclusion that we grew apart. We developed diffirent points of views on how we stand in life. We simply weren’t at the same level again. I will always cherish the awesome time we had together.

Ralph​

​

Don't misunderstand how I feel
Cuz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why​

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do​

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore​

 

[RRRalph]

I have mixed feelings about weak people. On the one hand i can’t stand them and on the other hand i feel the need to shake them up. I hate people who are weak, soft and quiet. I hate it when someone doesn’t get the maximum out of their life, but rather sit at the couch all day watching tv or siting behind the computer forever. Get your arse from it and do something! I hate it when someone thinks everything and everyone is ok, when it’s not. Don’t allow anyone push you over and smile like a sheep. Open your mouth and say something about it! I hate it when someone don’t dare to do things, such as asking someone for a date or telling someone what you really think of that person. Just do it for fuck sake!

It is understandible that it is hard to be assertive, when that person is introvert, insecure and shy, but it is really a choice to remain like that. You can do something about it and leave those things behind. Life would be so much better. Of course you won’t get rid of all insecurities and of course it would take a little while to actually change, but it is possible to change! It all starts with the will to change. Why would someone choose to hold on his sorry ass misrable life? Why would someone want to get old and ask regretfull what-if-questions? The ones who are like that are a such bunch of freaking losers! I hate losers. I hate it when people throw away their lifes. In the end i guess i do care about weak people, it’s the attitude that i don’t like.

Ralph​

​

The crickets get it and the ants get it
I bet you the pigs get it, even the plants get it
Come on now and get it, i want you to get with it​

I just want you to get with it
Everything that's under your shoe
Every bird and bug in the jungle too
Everything in the ocean blue​

They just happen to know exactly what to do
So why don’t you?​

The flies get it and the frogs get it
All big jungle cats get it and I bet your little dog gets it
Come on now and get it, i want you to get with it​

 

[RRRalph]

I feel damn good. From time to time i think about what a lucky bastard i am. I don’t take anything for granted, but sometimes i forget about being thankful for all the good things in my life. I’m surrounded by people i like. I have loving parents. I visit my parents at least two times a week, catching up with mom and helping dad with whatever his project is. I have awesome friends, which whom i hang out a lot. We are a bunch of goofy guys, when we are together. I have cool colleagues. There is always a good laugh at work and the atmosphere between all of us is a quite relax, which is important cuz you spend at least eight hours a day together. I have nice neighbours. Once a week an old female neighbour insists that she cooks for me. I exhange neighbourhood gossip over dinner with that sweet witty lady. I think these good things are the results of a positive attitude and a portion of luck. No one can choose their parents and you have to be lucky to come across nice people who become your friends, colleagues or neighbours. But you have to do something for it. You have to invest in those relations and you have to invest in yourself.

This morning i woke up with a grin on my face. The night before Elvin pointed out that i have a great life and i should be grateful for that. I felt that nothing can spoil my good mood today. With Incubus on the background I walked to the kitchen to set coffee and thought what nice things i wanted to do in the weekend. When i was undressing to hit the shower, i had that moment of reflecting. I was thinking that i don’t have anything to complain about for quite some time. There is not much fuss. The last one was an one nighter with a girl who had a bf, which i didn’t know. The girl confessed to her boyfriend and he got very angry at me, but nothing bad happend. So there was i, shutting my eyes, having a moment of gratitude while i was taking a shower. Those moments affect your way of living: living more consciously and more intensely. I dried off and got myself some coffee. I texted my best buddies to have dinner at my place this evening and i was planning to suprise dad by going fishing with him in the weekend. I locked the door and i was on my way to work. I feel damn good and i hope you all feel damn good too!

Ralph​

​

Birds flying high, you know how I feel
Sun in the sky, you know how I feel
Reeds driftin' on by, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life
For me and I'm feeling good​

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel
River running free, you know how I feel
Blossom in the tree, you know how I feel
It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life
For me and I'm feeling good​

 

[RRRalph]

A couple of months ago, i spent the night with Eva. She is a very beautiful, nice and funny girl. We met at a bar in my hometown. She had a boyfriend at the time, but I didn’t know that, cuz otherwise i would not have had sex with her. Eva cheated her boyfriend with me. She told me that she wanted to come clean to her boyfriend about her escapade. Eventually she gave him my name and warned me that he and probably his friends are out for a fight. She twisted the story by telling her boyfriend that I got her drunk and took advantage of her. So she supposedly wasn’t to blame.

Eva is now single and recently I ran into her. She said that she couldn’t stop thinking about me since that night and that i was the reason to break up with her boyfriend: she knew there were better men than her boyfriend out there for her. She apologized for giving her boyfriend my name. He was a very violent man and she had no choice than to do what he demanded. The bottom line was that she was interested in me and wanted to date with a relationship as result. I was amazed by her nerves to think that we could have a thing together. I said I wasn’t interested in her at all. In turn she asked me if we could just have some casual sex. Geez, what a naive stupid whore!

Ralph​

​

How could this be done
Your such a smiling sweetheart
Oh and your sweet and pretty face
In such an ugly way
Something so beautiful
That everytime I look inside ​

I know that she knows
that I'm not fond of asking
True or false it may be
She's still out to get me​

 

[RRRalph]

I know that I have a certain popularity here, but it is not as huge as many think it is. It began when I was voted number one in the hottest bisexual guy contest, in a line up in which Danno and Elvin were included as well. The result from that contest was quite a surprise cuz those two jubbers are so known at jub and there were three other sizzling hot bisexuals competing. After that, there were several "Which jubber..." threads in which the same names always popped up, including mine. I even got a thread solely dedicated to me, which I didn’t know about it for a while. Occasionally I receive random messages. Some messages were very remarkable. When I returned a pm, the other person wrote that he was so proud and so honoured to be exchanging pms with me like I am some kind of celebrity. Quite weird. Sometimes I get compliments from other jubbers saying ‘you are hot’ and sometimes the compliments are worded as ‘fuck me hard’. In real life people don’t say such things randomly right in your face. So it often raises my eyebrow, but it is flattering though. Some know about me being stalked and I joked that I reached celebrity status after that occurred. The guy confessed that he did it to get my attention.

Of course popularity is not solely connected to looks. The best compliments are the ones regarding the personality such as ‘you have an overwhelming attractive personality’ (Elvin) or compliments regarding achievements such as ‘you single handled made the (old) bisexual forum worthwhile’ (Blackbeltninja). Thanx dudes for those words! I think popularity at the jub forum is fundamentally in desiring guys and especially in the "likable" content. It is about liking the content in combination with frequently noticeable posting. It is about liking the comments for the excellent profound thoughts (for example Hard-Up), for the surprisingly witty remarks (for example G-Lexington), for the enormous sincere compassion (for example Robertac) or for the wet panting funny jokes (for example James1200). These and many more jubbers are very well known for their noticeable and likeble posts. They are tremendously popular, way more popular and way more known than me. Quite funny is that G-Lexington somewhere wrote that he considers me more popular than him. I have given it some thought and I have come to the conclusion that I am not more popular than him or more popular than many more others at the jub forum, but that I am just only more desired.

Ralph​

​

This life ain't good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood
Cause you're so smooth​

It's just like the ocean
Under the moon
That's the same the emotion
That I get from you ​

You got the kind of loving
That could be so smooth
Give me your heart
Make it real or else forget about it ​

 

[RRRalph]

There is a young guy in my neighbourhood which whom i play soccer with on the playground from time to time. He is cool, funny, shy, into sports and we get a long very well. One day he confined in me. He has a crush on a girl from school and he would like to date her, but he doesn’t know how things work. He hasn’t kissed and he hasn’t date before. I told him about some basic stuff, like make sure she notices you, have a random talk with her, don’t pretend to be someone else. Sometimes he has the urge to overcompensate his shyness by being extra cool. I told him to drop that and just to be himself. It took a little time before they knew each other and the next step was asking her out for a date. He was already nervous by the idea. I introduced him to some of my female friends, for random talks to make him more comfortable with females. He was very shy and nervous in the beginning and now he talks easily, eventho he is still a bit shy.

It was time for him to ask her out for a date. We brainstormed what kind of date they should do. I didn’t think they should go to a restaurant, cuz that was too formal. It should be fun and relax and they should talk. So no cinema either. We came up with the idea of a simple dessert picnic. Nothing fancy. Fruits like strawberry, cherry, peaches and 2 cream cans. No wine, but two red bulls. He liked the idea. I gave him more basic rules: only pay attention to her, compliment her, keep the conversation going and make jokes. I told him that he should feed her a strawberry, place it in her mouth and he should put some cream on it. Then he should accidently spray cream outside her mouth for him to lick off. The second scneario was that she would use the other cream can to spray him. It would be much fun and after both being creamed he could make a move and kiss her. His eyes widened by that thought.

It was time to set things in motion. After chickening out for a couple of times, he finally asked her out for a date and she said she would like that. He was so ecstatic! He said to her he would like to hang out in the park. The dessert picnic was a suprise for her. While they were on their way to the park, i helped him out to set the the picnic out. When the young couple were walking and hanging for 15 minutes in the park, i texted him to walk to the picnic spot and i sneaked out. Everything worked according to plan. They even had a little cream fight, but he didn’t dare to kiss her. He made that up after the second date with a little kiss and now they have been a cute couple for a little while. He is more secure and self assured now. Recently he told me he had kissed another girl. There was alcohol going on, but he said he didn't inted to kiss her, but he didn't mind doing it either I think i need more talks with this young guy...

Ralph​

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Man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely
Low and behold
She's walking over to me​

This must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am
Why does she give a damn​

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you​

 

[RRRalph]

For more than a year I have been single and from time to time I have a date. Sometimes it last two months before I date and one time I had two dates on one day. In the past year there was only one girl who I thought was worthwhile, but it didn’t worked out unfortunately. I have set my standards high and I refuse to settle with less. I only had quality girlfriends and I intend to maintain the high standard, but the result is that I have been single for way too long. I am stunned about how some girls are in dates. Here are some examples. One girl did nothing than rambling about herself during the whole date, about how badly she was threatened by her former boyfriends. Argh! Another girl was boring to death. She was fine with everything and didn’t have any opinion. Argh! Some other girl was simply obnoxious. She was telling me how she thinks that black guys are creepy, that asian guys are ugly and much more dumb stuff. I couldn’t take it any more and walk out of the restaurant. Argh!

A couple of months ago i came across the best girl. I was playing soccer with my buddies in the park and after a while I was sunbathing. There was someone who stood in the sun, which I thought was one of my buddies. So I said “hey move your ugly arse out of the sun”. A fake low voice replied: “does my arse resembles yours then?” There she was: a natural beauty and funny. She sat down a bit further and we had a brief casual talk and she mentioned that she planned to be in the park more often. I thought I will give her my number next time, but we didn’t see each other again. Two weeks ago I was in a bar and there she was again!! Stunning and dressed in red. Our eyes crossed each other and I went to her, bought her a drink, we exchanged numbers and agreed that we should meet together alone, cuz she was that night with her friends and I was with mine. That date was last weekend. She is just it: so nice, so smart, so stunning!! After the date i brought her home and we kissed. Maybe this will develop in something serious!

Ralph ​

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I've seen you darling, seen you hanging round town
You in a short skirt, shining eyes of deep brown
You had a dirty look, you caught me on your hook
Turn up the thermostat, I want to see you sweat
Oh yeah, girl, you've got something I like​

I walked right over, said hi, how you doing?
You smiled at me and girl you tore right through me
I said come on let's dance, we've got to take our chance
You whispered in my ear, you wanna get out of here ​

You know I like you, just wanna touch you
Stand up, knock me right off my feet
Hard to beat, hard to beat, hard to beat ​

 

[RRRalph]

Yes, I’m off the singles market! Yes, I’m totally into my new girlfriend and this one is quite enormous: I told her about my bisexuality and she is perfectly fine with it! As you may understand I’m quite ecstatic. I found an amazing girl who i connected to completely and who accepts me the way I am. I have had two disappointments about girls the last year who couldn’t handle the thought of me having been sexually intimate with guys as well. So it was very exciting that she took the announcement so well!

I try to spend as much time as possible with my girlfriend and I have friends who I don’t neglect either. The result of this is that I haven’t been online lately and thus not much on Jub as well. I don’t think I will be around here anymore, but I try to stop by occasionally. Jub is an amazing community. I have had such fantastic time here: receiving advice, giving advice, ranting about biphobics, talking to amazing people. I want to say special thanks to one particular Jubber: Thanx Elvin for being such fantastic buddy. You’re the best!

Ralph​

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You are the flame in my heart
You light my way in the dark
You are the ultimate star​

You lift me up from above
Your unconditional love
Takes me to paradise​

You make my life complete
You make me feel so sweet
You make me feel so divine​

I belong to you and you belong to me​