Rules of the Road

[rareboy]

From Cody Jensen:

HOW TO DRIVE IN TORONTO:
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Torona. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Torona.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on 404 is 110-120 km/hr. On DVP 100 km/hr , your speed is expected to at least match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Toronto has its own version of traffic rules. For example, Ferraris and Lamborghinis owned by sports stars go first at a four-way stop. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go second. The trucks with the biggest tires go third. The HOV lanes are really designed just for the slow travelers passing through who are used to hogging the left lane everywhere.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot. Unless there is a police car nearby.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting. Generally, city roads other than the main streets have more potholes and bumps (usually speed bumps) than most dirt roads in the country.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, ladders, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows.
9. Be aware that spelling of street names may change from block to block, e.g., Clairmont, Claremont, Clairmonte.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”.
11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 80 in a 100 km zone, e.g., you are considered a road hazard and will be “flipped off” accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
MOST IMPORTANT: If you get LOST, Look for a road named ...Queen St, Yonge St, King St Then you are somewhere in Toronto.

So, does your city or town have special driving rules?

 

[Peloso]

Yes. How to drive in Brooklyn:

Set off your car alarm twenty minutes before you are ready to leave.

After you start your car, lay down on the horn.

When pulling out onto the street, look both ways. If traffic is coming, honk. If no traffic is coming, honk louder.

Traffic lights are programmed to turn green in you honk at them.

When driving through school zones, honk repeatedly.

When driving through business zones, honk repeatedly.

When driving through residential neighborhoods, honk repeatedly.

There is no right turn on red in the city. But you may honk.

When parking, use your horn as a kind of sonar.

Don't forget: car alarms are apt to fail if not set off eighty times a day. This is especially true in the pre-dawn hours.

 

[me203]

I imagine there are things that make my area unique.

But the vehicle you drive can also generate important rules. This video, for example, teaches the BMW owner the rules of driving a BMW.

 

[gsdx]

'Trana' was a popular pronunciation when I was in school

 

[bankside]

Taugh Ronn Toe. Had kind of an aggressive militant asshole Uber driver there. Then had a passive over-yielding one. It’s…not a great choice but I guess isn’t all the amazing urban density and walkable vibrancy just so totally amazing and vibrant and urban. ….nahh i just wanna get somewhere.

 

[Dargelos]

It is easy to become distracted when driving so you must learn to never take your eyes away from your phone screen.
Do not pay attention to the children crossing in front of the car.
Your social media are more important than their lives.