running

[Rand]

there have been times in my life when I wanted to run away. run away from the situation, run away from a particular person, run away from the life that I had created.

there were times when everything seemed to have conspired against me. or that through my ineptitude I created a shambles of all that was good and right in my life. I had to get away, to start anew, to begin again. it never worked. if third grade was bad, fourth was no better and fifth was hell.

it seems to me that running away is impossible. I always managed to carry with me what I wanted to escape from. maybe it was part of me, my attitude, my likes and/or my dislikes. there seemed to be no escape. I am sure part of it was denying myself and trying to live in a closet.

finally, it dawned on me that I could run towards something. that if I really understood what I wanted, I could find it, could work towards being it. I learned this because of places like the jub; interaction on the internet with other gays.

it is funny, when running away, I was going fast, but not getting any further away. running towards something, I'm not moving as fast as I would like, but I'm making progress. it is the goal, but also the journey. for me, the end never justifies the means, so my goals must be earned and my journey must be fun and enjoyable.

lately here, there seems to be too much running away. or, those that are running towards a specific goal, seem to be so fixated on their goal, the means and the journey have no worth or value and they leave destruction in their wake.

I am very thankful for the jub. it is not a place I'd run from, I hope it remains a place I'd run to.

 

[Rand]

It seems the JUB has had some trials and tribulations of late. First some who might be too possessive and attack any intruders like a dog guarding their territory. Or maybe they are just attention hogs and need to be pampered constantly. It seems several ran away from the hostile treatment.

Then we lost a popular presence. That appears to have a somber effect upon many.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

 

[Rand]

I don't know if the JUB is as popular as in the past, or if a new set of popular have come in and I don't recognize them. It doesn't really matter, I do my thing and interact with my group and exit. It really doesn't matter; as anyone can see. It really doesn't matter to me.

 

[Rand]

as a nation are we running towards or away.
I think away
away from Woke
away from equality
away from merit

 

[Rand]

the noise is drowning out the music;
the glare is obscuring the art.
when joy is replaced with duty,
and creativity with routine,
will the winners celebrate?

 

[Rand]

“When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” The naval adage, quoted in Wouk's 1951 “The Caine Mutiny” and again in Heinlein's 1973 “Time Enough for Love”, pretty well describes the current status of the republican party. Raising anxieties within their base, calling the nod to the Greek gods of Olympus blasphemy against Christianity all the while touting Don-the-old as the new prophet and savior.

Driven by a mixture of greed, white-supremacy and religious convictions without dogma; they are poised to destroy the world. So sad.