Sad and confused

[cumboy1]

I've been in a major funk lately and I need some help. I answered an ad on Adam4Adam that was looking for a friendship that could turn into a relationship. So to give you some background on me before I go on...
I'm a big guy and theres alot of rejection that comes with that body style, so when I messaged him and unlocked my pics for him, he kept talking to me. We finally met 3 days later after alot of conversation and went very well. So, we go out a few more times and things are going very well and I am starting to love him and honestly its the first time I've ever had these feelings for someone. So things keep going until one day his facebook says he is in a relationship with someone other than me...I was like what??? So needless to say I was devastated. We never had a conversation about just being friends, so I fell in love with him and he did break up with that one since and he was single for a month and I of course picked up his heart when it got broke. So, now he has met someone new and I still love him.He has told me that my age and outward appearance has nothing to do with him not dating me, but its my lack of confidence and I am passive and he wants someone to take control. Anyway, we see each other and hangout atleast once a week and we take trips together. We talk and text everyday. The issue is, I cant stop loving him....I know I should walk away because I want us to be together and I truly think he is my soulmate. I know I should move on but I cant turn my back and walk away...it wouldnt solve anything and would make me miss him even more. At least like this I still get to have some of him even if I cant have all of him. I'm not after him for sex, we just click and he makes me happy just to be around him.He still has my heart and I cant quit him, but it tears me up knowing that the love he may be looking for is right in front of him and he just don't see it. Im tired of crying and being sad...Im just so broken and dont know what to do....

 

[hotatlboi]

At least like this I still get to have some of him even if I cant have all of him.

This will just prolong your misery and make you even more hurt than moving on.

 

[cumboy1]

This will just prolong your misery and make you even more hurt than moving on.

I know, but he makes me happy. He's got an amazing personality and is adorable, cute, sweet and funny. I know I should distance myself, but I'm not going to be able to stop thinking about him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder....I'm afraid that being away from him would make me want to be around him even more.Ive got alot of friends, but he is pretty much my best friend because we hang out together, cook together, travel together....thanks for your response. I appreciate it.

 

[hotatlboi]

Well if you can change your feelings for him to one of just accepting that you will be friends, maybe it could work. But if you are always going to be wanting more that's going to be really hard.

 

[cumboy1]

Well if you can change your feelings for him to one of just accepting that you will be friends, maybe it could work. But if you are always going to be wanting more that's going to be really hard.

Im trying, its hard to shut love off though. I'm 14 years older than him, so I am trying to get into a "Big Brother" type role now by protecting him, making sure he dont fall head over heels in love with someone after the first date. He is like me, he is very clingy, trusting and tender hearted and its gotten him hurt alot...just like it has me.

 

[cumboy1]

Let me clarify... He is 22, I am 36...lol

 

[cumboy1]

Yeah, this thread can be closed now. Come to find out all along I really didnt know him at all.

 

[TX-Beau]

Hello all, no you didn't know him, and you weren't in love with him.

You overcommited. You were in love with some fiction you had in your head.

We've all done that before and it sucks, but you're old enough to know what that is.

Why are you trying to be his "big brother?"

Is that actually what you were trying to do? Or were you waiting around to see if you got another shot?

He's not so tender hearted and fragile that he was beyond using you. Move along. Nothing to see here.

 

[cumboy1]

Hello all, no you didn't know him, and you weren't in love with him.

You overcommited. You were in love with some fiction you had in your head.

We've all done that before and it sucks, but you're old enough to know what that is.

Why are you trying to be his "big brother?"

Is that actually what you were trying to do? Or were you waiting around to see if you got another shot?

He's not so tender hearted and fragile that he was beyond using you. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Yeah, I kinda agree

 

[altlover85]

There will be other people that you will click with at some point in the future.

 

[jerich69]

Sorry to heard that cumboy1. Its kinda my story too. Ive been looking for love for so long Now. I'm trying to find someone to love me but it seem no one is out there for me. I'm 24 now ive been single in all my life. Sometimes I cry in my car in my room trying to ask what's wrong with me. And sometimes i wish I never be like this ( gay) everyday Im trying to be happy. Lol I Watch movies by my self I eat at my favorite restaurant chesse cake factory by my self. im trying to enjoy my life I think the only people that would love me. my familys, friends and my dog toothless but Im not gonna have a special someone in my life. Im not sending a negative message to the people out there. Lol cumboy1 you'll be fine bro. Guys sorry about my English

 

[altlover85]

jerich69, are you out? If not, work on that first. In order to find someone you have to put yourself out there. Besides, 24 is relatively young. You still have time.

Good luck!