safe to fuck yourself with a cucumber?

[JamieC2003]

Hi, been a while since i posted, but i've got a bit of a burning question.
It probably isn't health related, but i couldn't figure out where alse to field the question.
I've been wondering for a while if it would be safe to use a cucumber as a 'sex toy'. It's certianly the right shape, enough verity in size and probably strong enough, and i did think about keeping the palstic wrapper on in case in broke and using a condom to stop the plastic scraping around (shudder)

Thing is, iv'e looked around on google for the answer to this, but there's no difinitive answers, rangin from being absolutely fine to incredibly dangerous and 'stupid', but i imagine there must be someone on JUB who has a better idea. Let me know

 

[Corny]

If you are using a condom it is reasonably .. "okay".
Still .. it breaking could become uncomfortable. Why don't you just buy a dildo ?

 

[Audio Tech]

I'd have to agree.... In my "YUT" I experimented with things like that as well, though it was a shame to waste perfectly good food.

A Dildo is much safer and more fun, actually.

Only on JUB can we quite frankly discuss these things.

 

[desmond]

I think if you would eat it you could fuck it safely

 

[pausanias_usa]

(what the heck? I don't like Lady Gaga, but there it is and I can't find it to delete!)

This might be a coincidence (or not) but just last week I read about a guy who tried to kill himself with a cucumber up the ass -- in fact, it was in Hot Topics!

A search will reveal the sordid details. . . .

 

[KaraBulut]

Rule #1:

Never put anything in your ass that can't keep a good grip on.

Rule #2:

Never put anything in your ass that you'll have to explain how it got there when you end up in the emergency room.

 

[JamieC2003]

All good points
my main reasoning was that cucumbers are cheaper and easier to get hold of than dildos

Rule #1:

Never put anything in your ass that can't keep a good grip on.

Rule #2:

Never put anything in your ass that you'll have to explain how it got there when you end up in the emergency room.

Rule 1 - good point, didn't quite think about that
Rule 2 - if i did go to the ER, i doubt id have to explain how it got up there!

having second thoughts now

 

[Corny]

Rule 2 - if i did go to the ER, i doubt id have to explain how it got up there!

you were cleaning the windows .. naked. just when your friend who was preparing a cucumber salad came along to ask you a question, you fell from the ladder and onto the cucumber which he dropped.

i know people who work in the ER. people really do tell stories like that

 

[KaraBulut]

My favorite?

Late shift. Saturday night. Shampoo bottle.

"I slipped in the shower."

 

[desmond]

Gardening accident!

 

[Audio Tech]

All good points
my main reasoning was that cucumbers are cheaper and easier to get hold of than dildos

Yes, but a Dildo is REUSABLE for a looong time. So it's cheaper in the long run.

 

[Audio Tech]

I think if you would eat it you could fuck it safely

You can eat a pineapple.....

 

[justsimon]

Don't put anything in your ass that doesn't have a base.

 

[KaraBulut]

You can eat a pineapple.....

But there's that spine-y thing that ends up hanging out your ass...

 

[Lefty]

Well,

the way I see it. the cucumber is more p/c (green)and a renewable resource.

but the Dildo is more homo-pathic.

Tough call, maybe let your conscience be your guide.

 

[theworldwithout]

As long as it's organic...you know, all them pesticides and whatnot.

Omg, what is it with fruit/vegetables and sex?

 

[desmond]

http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/vibrator/

 

[Lefty]

Thanks Desmond,

That was quite educational...

and interesting too.

 

[Yohan1989]

I did put a banana in my ass a few time... but the banana break and all the creamy stuff came out and made me smell like a banana...

 

[KaraBulut]

I'm also wondering if anyone has tried putting a corn cob up there...maybe too abrasive? But if it's buttered...

Give it a shot and report back to us.

Just remove the husk first.