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Amazing story so far lots of twist and turns. can not wait for the next chapter
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- Thread starter Autolycus
- Start date
musicalgenius14
On the Prowl
Amazing story! The tension between Ryan and Jesse is so real. This has become one of my favorite stories 
Can't wait for the next update!
Can't wait for the next update!
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2007
- Posts
- 66,820
- Reaction score
- 38,573
- Points
- 113
People can call me whatever they decide. As long as they are talking to me and commenting about my stories. That is what I came here for. I am growing quite weary of watching the "thread views" count and not getting feedback. I either suck so bad nobody wants to tell me or I am so good I render them speechless (highly doubtful I'd say).
I've just read this thread from start to finish. As a fellow writer who has spent too many hours watching the views edge upward while impatiently waiting for any comment, I read you loud and clear.
But whether chick or dick, you and your writing don't "suck", and I am not speechless. Your story is well envisioned. Your characters, honest and believable, while being complex enough to surprise us. You aren't wallowing in a sexual frenzy, but telling a really interesting story. You have a balance of characters seldom presented so well. However, to be totally honest, I can hardly wait to see how you handle a down and dirty cum scene.
I do find it interesting that so far you have focused on the power of love to make people make unwise or self-destructive decisions. It is far more common to read (at least on JUB) about how the power of sex has the same effect. In the end in the power-of-sex stories, everything always seems to turn out just fine. Sex conquers all. Will your story be any different when I finally read "The End"? Will love conquer all, or will this complex mix of characters have its own unique solution? Not so much a question really. Just an observation.
In case you're not completely certain, I like your story a lot. And you don't need an editor, unless you already have one.
I've just read this thread from start to finish. As a fellow writer who has spent too many hours watching the views edge upward while impatiently waiting for any comment, I read you loud and clear.
But whether chick or dick, you and your writing don't "suck", and I am not speechless. Your story is well envisioned. Your characters, honest and believable, while being complex enough to surprise us. You aren't wallowing in a sexual frenzy, but telling a really interesting story. You have a balance of characters seldom presented so well. However, to be totally honest, I can hardly wait to see how you handle a down and dirty cum scene.
I do find it interesting that so far you have focused on the power of love to make people make unwise or self-destructive decisions. It is far more common to read (at least on JUB) about how the power of sex has the same effect. In the end in the power-of-sex stories, everything always seems to turn out just fine. Sex conquers all. Will your story be any different when I finally read "The End"? Will love conquer all, or will this complex mix of characters have its own unique solution? Not so much a question really. Just an observation.
In case you're not completely certain, I like your story a lot. And you don't need an editor, unless you already have one.
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2009
- Posts
- 13
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 1
Really sad ending but good that ryan didn't give into jesse.
musicalgenius14
On the Prowl
Wow. Good for Ryan! Now lets see if it actually sticks...
Haunted i agree w/ the way this story ended, b/c of the way you built up the characters, I wouldn't have wanted it to end any other way. I'd also like to mention that i read summer of 89 and awakenings and I love how your stories have a message to them or at least that's how I feel after I've read them. I commend you for your amazing writing and I'll definitely be on the look out for future stories from you (hopes you write more). Again GREAT story!
EasyRory
JUB Addict
I found this story too late to comment during the writing; so I hope a late comment is better than none.
Very nice writing; consistent characterizaton; and I didn't mind the lack of descriptive detail at all. I was able to see some of my acquaintances as Jess, Ryan, and Mark with no trouble at all.
Wonderful job. I'm voting for stars.
Very nice writing; consistent characterizaton; and I didn't mind the lack of descriptive detail at all. I was able to see some of my acquaintances as Jess, Ryan, and Mark with no trouble at all.
Wonderful job. I'm voting for stars.
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2005
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Well Lady HaHa.
A caged bird cannot sing.
Uncle Lefty wants only to say...
I told you that you could do it.
Now, spread those wings
And fly, fly away
You are a free bird that sings
Bring your light to our day
Speak to us of many things
But You must fly...just not to far away.
A caged bird cannot sing.
Uncle Lefty wants only to say...
I told you that you could do it.
Now, spread those wings
And fly, fly away
You are a free bird that sings
Bring your light to our day
Speak to us of many things
But You must fly...just not to far away.