Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

"Good morning boys! Hope you're not drinking alcohol!"

"Of course not Sir!"

(Shit the one in the middle is absolutely begging for it but how do.i get rid of the two nerdy twats either side of him?

Got a couple of cans of Soecial Brew in my rucksack so if I slip a pill in each one as I.open them for them it should do the trick!

Then they'll go.out like a light and I can get this little bugger on his back and make cherry jam from his virgin pucker with a little bit of cream to go with it!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Are you OK Brandon!? You look as if you've seen a ghost!"

"No I'm.ok! Had a bit of a surprise this morning! You know I've got this new drop dead gorgeous flatmate! Well I've been taking his socks and pants out of the laundry basket and having a good sniff each time I've been to the bathroom!

Well this morning I picked up his Calvin's and went to sniff the seat and there was a skidmark in the shape of a shamrock!"

"Well he is Irish!"

"Do.you think there's a market for designer skidmarks and if so how would I go about advertising them on ebay!?

The only problem is that he would want to know how I knew about the shamrock!

How can I tell him I've been hyperventilating on his brown stripes ever since he moved into the flat!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Happy to sit on your face mate but it's gonna be pretty grim cos I've had two big dumps today and the second time there was no toilet paper so funky doesn't really cover it!

I know this is your fetish and you pay though the nose for it but I really feel you should have a refund for this session or at least a discount!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I don't really think I need a babysitter at my age Uncle Paul but you know how protective Mum and Dad can be!

Mind you I'm really enjoying some of the games we've been playing - much more interesting than boring old Scrabble and Battleships!

I don't seem to be much good at this Strip Poker though! I'm almost down to my Calvins and you've still got all your clothes on!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I've been waiting fucking ages to see the doctor! Bet they've forgotten about me! Might as well Google my problem and have a poke about!

So I'll just put it into Google:

GENITAL HERPES!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Happy Birthday sweetheart! 18 today!

I've got a special present for you but it's not wrapped up in fancy paper with a bow! It's here in my pants!"

"......but you're my stepdad!"

"That's exactly right! I'm your stepdad and not your dad so there's nothing incestuous about it and I'm just the right man to make a woman of you!

I know you get turned on by me cos I've sniffed your panties after you've taken them off and put them in the laundry basket! Fucking soaked they were....your little pussy's been working overtime but I think your pussy deserves some top quality cream!

By the time your mum gets back from the shops you will have lost your cherry and I'll give you something to remember me by that's gonna give you sleepless nights in nine months' time!

Now get on that fuckjng dining room table!

Old enough to bleed old enough to butcher!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So where shall we go!? Public toilets?"

"Too risky but there's a lift behind me and I know a technique for jamming the lift so it stops between floors and nobody can get in!

Should give you time to bareback me but I want a good quality load up my shitter and want to feel the residue running down the back of my legs!

Don't disappoint me big boy!

Just hope I can remember how to unjam the lift at the of it all!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You've got filthy British chavs and then you've got classy Canadian chavs like 21 year old Josh Richards !

Just look at the bellend on that whore!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Not forgetting 21 year old North American Vinnie Hacker!

Would love to see some action between the toned tanned sleek North Americans and the rough English scallies! What a fantasy!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

We're holding a sponsored sniffathon for charity next week!

You two boys have got the smelliest peachiest arses on the block and local entrepreneurs have already expressed an interest in getting their noses wedged in your shitters!

They'll pay handsomely for it and after all it's in a good cause!

I'm putting my money on the table right now so panties down boys and arses in the air!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just look at that little bitch on the left! Look at those come to bed eyes! So demonic!
Just imagine fucking him in the arse and then he smiles in your face and says:

"Sorry my friend! I lied about my age!

Go to jail! Do not pass GO! Do not collect £200!

Don't worry ! I'll send you my skidmarked pants and sweaty socks every week while you're in.prison and I might even come and visit you- flash my tight little buns at you so you never forget the smell of forbidden fruit!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"So you say this geezer's just arrived from Romania in a lorry with nothing!

Tall, lean ,tanned early 20s -been wearing the same pants and socks for three days.....I'm.getting hard just at the thought of it!

OK well bring him to the warehouse and make sure the mattress is down ! We'll shag him to start with and anyone else in the boiler room that wants a poke at him.

Then we'll give him some grub and show him what the job entails!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"What are you two.up to!?"

"Looking for winkles mate!"

"Looks as if you've found one!

If you come with me behind those rocks I'll show you how to make a winkle grow!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"In isolation again Kyle!? You never learn do you!?

Still I'm not complaining -being the master on duty I get to check up.on you .....and take any other measures necessary to ensure your safety and comfort!

I've never really thought that cheese and chocolate were a good combination.but when you're offering them to me on a plate how can I refuse?!

Better just lock the door in case of intruders!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Brilliant that we have managed to get a football team together from the boys on the council estate! So many social problems there that at least they will be able to work off some of their aggression on the field rather than on the bus shelters and the walls of the public toilets!"

You have been so kind to agree to coach the team and even give the boys lifts home!

The only thing I am missing is somebody to take home their dirty kit after training and on match days and wash it!"

"Happy to do that too Vicar!"

"Oh no Mr. Brownnose you are doing enough already!"

"No probs vicar just get their mums or whoever to sew name tags in anything they hand in for washing!"

"What a good idea! Then it will be so easy to hand back the freshly.laundered kit to the right boy!"

( Nice try Vicar! When I'm lying on my kitchen floor covered in sweaty socks and skidded skuns I want to be able to match a name to a skidmark when I've had a good sniff and note it down in.my little book before I consign them to the.washing-machine!"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform!"

"He certainly does Vicar!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"OK you can stop doing impressions of the Hunchback of Notre Dame now!

Stick that phone between your legs and show us a picture of your shitter!

I bet you bang like a shithouse door in a gale!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I only cane in with a pain in my shoulder and you've had me face down on your table with my pants round my ankles.....yeah I could hear you sniffing my arse so don't fucking deny it you dirty cunt!

I'm gonna get you struck off for this!"

"That's a shame! You've obviously got a short memory Sir because it's not that long ago that I.lied for you about that drugs theft and stopped you going to prison!

How unfortunate it would be if I had to go back to the police with startling new evidence!

So you have a choice- you can get gangbanged night and morning in a filthy prison cell or you can be shagged senseless in luxury on my comfortable consulting couch!

Now I suggest you step out of your grey sweatpants, drop your knickers, get back on the table and I'll resume where we left off!

There's a good boy! You know it makes sense and I'll try and be gentle when I cum to give you your protein injection which regrettably can only be administered anally!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"They've put us in 906 on the ninth floor! What about you!?

"Ground floor- just about to get in the lift!

So you've both had a shit and only used two squares of toilet paper like I told you!?"

"Yep- it still feels a bit slimy in there!"

"Not to worry! I'll soon be up there to give you both a deep clean and an award for the best tasting chocolate!

Just leave the door on the latch and be bent over the bed with your knickers down ready for when I arrive!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"Pleased to meet you mate! I'm Jared! Love your sweet colourful socks!"

"Nothing sweet about them mate! They fucking stink! Ben here by the way! Your socks are pretty clean and bright too!"

"Clean on today mate but if you come round this evening feel free to have a nose through my dirty laundry basket when you go for a pee! I expect it was already on your mind anyway!

Got caught out last week! Went to do some work for a rich bitch who lived alone with her 18 year old son! Saw a picture of him on the mantelpiece! What a hunk!

Took the first opportunity to use the toilet and luckily the dirty laundry basket was in there! Grabbed a pair of his skidded Calvin's abd was having a good sniff when I saw that the cow had installed CCTV cameras in every room!

My boss emailed me with my P45 as an attachment!!

 

[thefreak83]

Who said that men can't multitask!?

This young man seems to be making a deposit and a withdrawal at the same time!

Lucky policeman that gets to arrest him........and make a deposit of his own in that lad's chocolate dispenser!Mmmmmm!

shame he's not depositing into my mouth.