Scally/Chav Lads

[Sniffademskidz]

I've heard of chartering a plane but chartering a chav!????

The imagination soars!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So you're playing Romeo in the Royal Ballet production of "Romeo and Juliet?

-That's right!

-And how old are you!?

-Just eighteen!

In the original Shakespeare Romeo was only 16 and Juliet was 14. The Royal Ballet Company was keen to stick to the original so a 16 year old auditioned with me! To be honest he was much better than me but the director was so desperate to get inside my tights that I got the role and his pole on the same day!

He even suggested that I change my name from Romeo to RIM ME O!

-And who could blame him!? After all who wants Juliet when they can have a gorgeous little stud like you!?

Is there room for one more in those tights of yours!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I know I've only been at this plastering game for a few weeks but I still find it difficult to get into the cracks.

-Well son I've been at this game most of my.lufe and I've never had any problem getting into the cracks. From where I'm standing it should be a piece of cake.

I'll give you a few pointers when you've finished that bit.........!!!

 

[RemyWst83655]

-I know I've only been at this plastering game for a few weeks but I still find it difficult to get into the cracks.

-Well son I've been at this game most of my.lufe and I've never had any problem getting into the cracks. From where I'm standing it should be a piece of cake.

I'll give you a few pointers when you've finished that bit.........!!!

That hole looks like nice and ripe for my tongue

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I'm sure you've got some top quality quick drying cement to shoot up his shitter!

SWALC

Sealed with a loving cock!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

As an amateur psychologist I have read up a bit about the Sbadow Self- that dark side of our nature which we prefer to ignore and hope it will go away!

Many same sex attracted men have married women in the hope that they will become straight, thus ruining two lives!

The key thing is not to sweep that side of our nature under the carpet but accept it and even learn to love it!

So.it was that a single young priest took pity on a homeless boy and invited him from the cold, wet into his home and onto his sofa!

Once fed the boy weary after sleepless nights on the streets fell into a deep sleep oblivious to the fact that the priest was gazing on his beautiful chiseled torso fighting to ignore he words that the Shadow Self was whispering in his ear......." Deny yourself nothing!"

 

[RemyWst83655]

I'm sure you've got some top quality quick drying cement to shoot up his shitter!

SWALC

Sealed with a loving cock!

Definitely, then send him back to work with my seed dripping out of him for the rest of the day

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Are you sure this is going to work?

Trust me! Somebody is bound to be outraged by this, they'll call the police and bingo, a nice warm cell for the night with a decent breakfast.......unless you want to freeze your bollicks off on the streets for another night!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So you're at the Sixth Form College and you want to make a bit of extra money so you can go ibterrailing round Europe this summer!?

I need to see some sort of iD ! I don't want the fuzz banging on my front door and carting me ooff to the nick cos I've fucked a minor! You're definitely 18?

-Yes Sir here's my driving licence and passport!

OK! Well young man tonight I'm going to take you to a place that doesn't appear on any interrailing itinerary!

-Where's that Sir?

-HEAVEN!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Josh is devastated! He's just broken up with his boyfriend-a beautiful African boy called Erroll! They met at freshers week at the University and it was Jishs first real experience of being with another man!

When they broke up he ended up calling Sanaritans he was so desperate but the guy who answered the call was either in the wrong job or hadn't completed his training! The conversation went sonething like this

JOSH: I just don't see any point in going on!

SAMARITAN: I'm with you there mate! You've just ended a relationship with a black guy who's got a twelve inch cock! Too bloody right there's no point in going on!

Now Josh has come to the woods to gaze at some grass as some well-meaning person has told him that the grass is always greener on the other side!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Look mate we're paying you good money to be a still life model for our Art class but that pile of moss covering your privates won't keep still!

-Sorry guys - I really need this job but I'm horny most of the time! If somebody comes and sucks me off that should stop my vegetation from rustling!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sorry I had to leave the gym early mate but will catch up with you later!

By the way if you are looking for the socks and pants you took off after the workout I'm sniffing them now mate!

Sweaty as fuck make and three nice big brown stripes in the seat of yer Calvin's you dirty cunt! Crotch stained with precum! What's not to like!

At least its saved your wife the job of taking a scrubbing brush to them!

Loving them shitty skuns Matt but I'd rather have what was in 'em!

Try and get round here by 8 if you can!

Try not to get yer rocks off beforehand but if your bitch is gagging for it I suppose you'll have to oblige!

La'ers big boy!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-i think we're just going to have to be a bit more careful in future Ryan!

-Why do you say that mate!?

-Well, we always exchange pants and socks after we've fucked so that we've got something to sniff on before the next session but I forgot myself the other day and put them in our laundry basket at home!

Tracey yanked them out, came into the garage holding up your tighty whities and said:

-Whose are these then!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So Daddy I'm 18 now and are you saying that there is nothing outside this room!?

'It's a nasty old world out there baby boy! You are better staying here with Daddy!

-OK Daddy!

-Aren't you happy with Daddy? I come and visit you every day and we play those funny games!

I know you especially like that game where Daddy takes down your pants, spreads the cheeks of your arse and looks for gold nuggets!

-You haven't found any gold yet Daddy!

-No son but we'll keep on trying cos

THERES GOLD IN THEM THERE BUNS!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-This is ridiculous! You're telling me that for security reasons you need to take a photo of my feet!?

-College policy mate! It used to be just a mugshot but because identity theft is on the increase they need more proof!

You say that you take size 10 shoes so we need a photo of those size ten tootsies!

-For fuck's sake! Next you'll be telling me that you need a photo of my cock to prove that I've got eight inches!

-That's about the size of it son so if you'd just like to drop your jeans for me.......!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-We're full tiocapacity in the Nightshelter at the moment and every room is two people sharing except this one!

The chap that's in this room was released from a psychiatric hospital not long ago and we're keeping an eye on him given his medical history!

You are welcome to share the room with him but we don't take responsibility for what happens!

-It's fucking freeze out there mate! I can't spend another night on the streets it'll kill me!

-Well it's your decision but just to warn you......he's a big black African guy and he'll fuck anything that's got a pulse so if I were you I'd keep my clothes on all night if you want to wake up"iintact" tomorrow morning!

-Whi says I want to wake up intact......black men are legendary for the size of their cocks aren't they!? It could turn out to be the best night of my life!

Thanks very much! I'll take the room!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Can you keep those poles still Ben!? They're wobbling all over the place!?

-Sorry mate! I'm doing my best but can't do much about the pole in my sweatpants cos I can see right up your shit chute and it's giving me the horn!

I can fucking smell it from here you dirty cunt so it's straight in the back of the van at break time for a deep clean!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Never underestimate a chav!

They may look as if they haven't got two brain cells to rub together with the morals of a skunk and never change their underpants from one week to the next but some of them are blessed with great business acumen!

Take Charlie for instance ( and who wouldn't)! He's a cheeky little chav who never misses an.opportunity to market his finest ASSet!

He told me just before this protest about government cuts in funding for apprenticeships that he had an appointment with the tattooist to have his mobile phone number tattooed on one cheek and his price list tattooed on the other!

Why ruin your health by grafting when you can sleep your way to the top!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Look at that little bitch! I bet he bangs like a shithouse door in a gale!

-How much do you think he would charge to open his legs!?

-The price of a sausage sandwich I reckon !

-Well we've got the sausage and plenty of mayonnaise to go with it and I bet he's got a nice pair of fluffy white baps so no financial outlay necessary!

Let's dooooooooo it!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Look James do you want this promotion or not!?

-You know I do Sir!

-Then get down here to my office right now!

-You know I've been sniffing crac cocaine since I was a teenager and I'm right out of it.

If I can't sniff crac cocaine the next best thing will be sniffing YOUR crack so I want you down here, bent over my desk with your cheeks wide apart in thirty seconds flat or you'll be back on the tea trolley!

Certainly Sir!